Desperately need support...

aedam

I effed up. Really bad. With the stress of exposure therapy and my husband's deployment, I ended up drinking tonight. A lot. And afterwards came a massive binge. I had had my binges under control for a while. I've lost 21 pounds, and I was proud of myself. Now I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I restarted old bad habits. I had been so proud of myself, but now I feel disgusting. How could I make so much progress just to throw it away? I apologize if this post is a mess...I still have 12 drinks in my system. I haven't told my husband about my weight loss plan...I wanted to surprise him when he got back in 9 months. So I don't want to lean on him right now. I guess I'm just seeking advice or support. I don't have any real life friends so...

Sorry if I rambled...

Valereee

Okay, so you effed up! Today is a new day -- just put the past behind and get right back on track. You probably needed all that food/the binge to soak up the alcohol! A one day setback is no cause for alarm, so don't berate yourself and certainly don't feel ashamed. Your weight loss is a long process and a one day screw-up shouldn't throw you off. Just put it in the past and forget about it. In fact, try not to weigh yourself! Get back on track and weigh next week.

Losing 21 pounds is a great start. Obviously your husband loves you at your current size, so don't worry about having 9 months to transform your body! Yes, it will be great to surprise him in 9 months, so that is a great goal, but don't obsess about it. Yesterday was only one day out of 270 days in a 9-month period -- so you'll be just fine!

Good luck, and feel free to add me if you'd like (I'm an old granny, so certainly not in your age group), but I've been at this since age 14! Take care, Valerie..............

truddy6647

first aedam...............I am the wife of a disabled veteran, and let me just encourage you to seek out a support group for deployment...........I am not sure where you live but do know that bases, vet centers, and many va centers offer these. It is helpful to know you are not alone in this process. if you are near ann arbor mi, U of M has a program called homefront strong that you may find helpful

Secondly, we all have bad days, heck I have had a lot lately, but I have to remind myself that just because I messed up or slid back does not mean that I have failed.

Thirdly, I understand what you mean y not having any real life friends. It is hard to make friends for me as well. And being in a new area doesn't help things either. Neither does having a disabled veteran as a husband.....many people don't understand. That lack of understanding makes trusting others even harder. However, there is support out there.

aedam

Thank you for your responses. Right now I'm on a waiting list for a support program on base, and I have a personal therapist which helps a bit. I'm avoiding the scale for a while so it doesn't become an obsession. I've gone over calorie wise the past couple of days, but I have been able to cut back. I pulled myself together last night to take a short walk. I feel I'm putting too much pressure on myself to lose weight quickly considering everything else I have going on in my life. Basically, I'm trying to chill out and not expect perfection of myself.

My husband has always been an amazing support for me. I was obese when we met at 16, by age 17 I was considered "average" weight, and now I am the heaviest I've been and he has never faltered in his love and support. He just wants me to do things the healthy way and not hurt myself while accomplishing my goals. So basically all the stress and pressure I am experiencing is coming from me. Hence my goal to chill haha.