bullying resulting in suicide
Replies
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Herbert Spencer called that "Survival of the Fittest".
Not to trivialize this very serious topic, but this reminds me of when people blame McDonalds or their Significant Other for MAKING them fat. No. YOU made YOU fat.
The "bully" child didn't pull the trigger, the "victim" child chose to pull the trigger. Where were their parents, teachers, and mentors?
Seriously? Uhhhh, the victims didn't MAKE bullies torture them, so it's not a valid comparison at all.
So what if the bully child didn't pull the trigger? That's like saying that the woman got raped because she 'asked for it' by wearing a short skirt.
This whole blaming the victim mentality bullsh*t is disgusting and ridiculous.
Where were the parents, teachers, and mentors of the effing BULLY? Obviously the bully wasn't getting the proper support, guidance, and raising if they're torturing other kids so bad that the victims feel there's no way out except for death.
Bullies should be responsible for their actions. If it is their actions that drove someone to harm themselves, they should be held accountable as well. Considering the victim has already paid the ultimate price with their DEATH, I don't think that's terribly unfair or too much to ask at all.
Agreed!0 -
I don't think it should result in legal repercussions. Intervention is definitely deserved but I wouldn't put a kid in jail or juvi for bullying unless the bullying itself involved physical violence or threats and even then, the punishment should be proportional to the severity of those specific actions, and not proportional to the outcome. I agree that schools and parents need to take this very seriously.0
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I don't think it should result in legal repercussions. Intervention is definitely deserved but I wouldn't put a kid in jail or juvi for bullying unless the bullying itself involved physical violence or threats and even then, the punishment should be proportional to the severity of those specific actions, and not proportional to the outcome. I agree that schools and parents need to take this very seriously.
Agreed. I don't think you should lock a teen away for bullying but there does need to be serious repercussions.. behavioral therapy or such. While the teen that committed suicide did it because he is still in a developmental stage in his/her life and doesn't fully understand how to cope with issues, the bully is at the same point in their lives, and is probably dealing with the stresses in their own way. Everyone uses different means to deal with things going on.. for the bully its abuse onto others the same way for the suicidal child its abuse onto themselves. They both don't fully understand the impact of their decisions yet, and each doesn't have a solid foundation to deal with their issues so they do the first thing that comes to their minds.0 -
I think bullying should be punished in very harsh ways in schools. I believe teachers need to start doing better jobs. They know who's getting picked on and who's doing it. It's past time they stopped letting the vicious little *kitten* get away with it, regardless of how important their parents may be or how well they play football.
This. You can tell the "survival of the fittest" people were never really bullied in school. Kids that kill themselves due to bullying are not always "hypersensitive". Yes other factors can come into play, but I had a great family life and social life before I started primary school, I have very thick skin and am a very strong person, yet bullying completely ruined my life. I tried to take my life several times from the age of ten onwards, the school knew perfectly well what went on those seven years and did nothing at all, in fact they made the leading bullies house captains and pupil councillers in their final years. And the bullying got worse because I made myself vulnerable by going to the school for help, as that's what they had told us to do if we were ever bullied.
Bullying is a cold, calculated, systematic destruction of somones life and self esteem that can affect their whole lives. Even now I have severe social and emotional problems. I survived, I'm lucky, many don't, and the bullies need to be hed accountable.
It shouldn't be a normal part of growing up, in days gone by being beaten by parents and forced into child labour were normal parts of growing up, and were stamped out in civilized countries, why shouldn't bulling be stamped out? No one DESERVES to be bullied, no one ASKS to be bullied, and it's often some of the most intelligent, creative and valuable members of society that were bullied as kids, and who may in future be lost to suicide.
You wouldn't expect adults to deal with the daily torments that some people are put through, you can file a lawsuit against your place of work if it happens there as a grown up, so why the hell do you expect kids who are still developing to deal with it?
YES the bullies should be held accountable. They are committing a crime, or a variety of crimes, often assault, verbal abuse, blackmail, hate crime, theft...the list goes on. We would not accept this anywhere else in society, so why in the playground?
If bullies are held accountable for their actions, perhaps kids would start to think twice before bullying in the first place.
For people that think it's just kids being kids, it doesn't have to be. Kids shouldn't have to go through this. And schools should stop telling kids to go to their teachers for help if they're not actually going to do anything about it. Bullies know what they're doing, they're not "kids being kids", they are, as the quoted poster said, "vicious little *kitten*", and I don't want to live in a world where they get off scott free.0 -
Herbert Spencer called that "Survival of the Fittest".
By that rule, we would leave all disabled people to fend for themselves. "**** off, you're not getting a wheelchair, yeesh, adapt or crawl off and die. Oh wait, you're disabled, you can't crawl...whatever, not my problem, just sit there and die, survival of the fittest kid."0 -
I hate to be sweden and on the fence but I do see both sides of the fence. Has bullying gotten worse? Yes. Technology has made certain of that. Do people cry out bully too much? Yes. We do live in victimized society.
I do agree with your point actually. It's hard to distinguish between the "innocent" bullying (if such a thing exists), and the bullying that causes a child permanent fear and anguish. Many children are bullied. But what really defines bullying? How often does something have to occur for it to be considered bullying? Or how "bad" does it have to be ?
As much as I'd hate to say it, I think bullying that results in suicide also comes from a psychological disorder that's all ready in place ( or genetically predispositioned). Its a sad thought that someone could make another persons life so miserable that they want to kill themselves, but it is reality. I would love to say something needs to be done, but my question is: what? We all ready teach children from a young age what bullying is and how to deal with it, but how many people ever test out this learned theory? How do we teach children to stand up for what is right, but force them into societal norms. I'm rude for stating my opinion, so I should keep my mouth shut because it might hurt someone. I see bullying happening and think its wrong, but I don't want to get involved because I don't want others to judge me or call me nosy. So is it really a matter of stopping the bully, helping the victim, or educating those around to stand up to the bully?0 -
We all ready teach children from a young age what bullying is and how to deal with it
We do?
A lot of parents don't discipline their kids anymore, so from an extremely young age, they're allowed to rule their household. I've seen my friend's kid kick and punch and pull their grandmothers hair, call strangers at the store "ugly," throwing things at people, etc. "Oh, they're just being kids" is a cop-out...actually discipline them and explain to them WHY what they're doing is wrong may help. Parents nowadays feel that their child is perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and must be silenced. Especially teachers! Which is why I think a lot of teachers probably stay out of it, for fear of their jobs being threatened. When I worked at Starbucks, I remember this lovely woman and her darling little angel of a kid come in and order, and the boy (probably about 5 or 6) decided to throw his entire bowl of cereal over the counter and at my friend...resulting in her being covered which milk and soggy cereal pieces, as well as our counter, computer, and cash register covered in the crap. Her solution to this kid acting like a brat? Giggling and saying "Someone must not want to go to McDonald's later, huh?" at that point, he said "I WILL go to McDonalds, we're going!" so she said "of course, honey, we're gonna go, I can't say no to you!" SERIOUSLY...THIS is the kind of passive "oh yeah, you can do whatever you want!" that feeds these kids egos and lets them know it's okay to be a bully. Or my personal favorite: this lady got mad at us because we were out of a certain flavor, so she sends her tween daughters over to throw garbage and pieces of food at us, while egging them on. Way to teach your children that if you don't get what you want, harass and humiliate someone, and you'll feel all better.
I personally was never taught anything about bullies. I was made fun of a lot, but not to the extent of the tragedies I've seen some people here mention. My mom's solution was to ignore it, my dad's solution was to beat someone up. I never beat anyone up, and ignoring it wasn't always so easy when someone is physically pulling your hair or hitting you. Then their solution was to just go on a rampage, make a scene at the school...which just does nothing for the children but make them even more of a target.
I know the schools in my county have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying, yet when people I do know bring up to the schools that their child has been threatened, is being bullied, etc...the school just sorta turns their head and does their best to ignore it.:frown:0 -
We all ready teach children from a young age what bullying is and how to deal with it
We do?
I personally was never taught anything about bullies. I was made fun of a lot, but not to the extent of the tragedies I've seen some people here mention. My mom's solution was to ignore it, my dad's solution was to beat someone up. I never beat anyone up, and ignoring it wasn't always so easy when someone is physically pulling your hair or hitting you. Then their solution was to just go on a rampage, make a scene at the school...which just does nothing for the children but make them even more of a target.
I know the schools in my county have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying, yet when people I do know bring up to the schools that their child has been threatened, is being bullied, etc...the school just sorta turns their head and does their best to ignore it.:frown:
We do in Canada at least. I swear bullying was a class with the extent that we went into it in public school, and even early on into high school. Being the over achieving browner I was, I was on anti-bullying committees in the 8th grade, and in 11th grade was teaching grade 9s the effects and signs of bullying. Bullying was literally nailed into our brains. Doesn't mean it didn't happen, we just spent a lot of time on the "theory of dealing with bullying".
My school actually did a "simulation" bullying, where a student went around bullying other children in large groups. Everyone stood awestruck at the harshness of this persons words. But of that group, not ONE person reported it or did anything about it. We were then given a school wide lecture for bullying and "helping others".
But with all that knowledge, when it comes to "bullying" we really can't do much about it. Teachers have the "there's two sides to every story approach" when an incidence is reported. And parents would rather believe there child is suffering from teen angst then realize something is not right with them.
With humans natural violent nature, I some how don't see it becoming solved in the near future. Perhaps improved with bullying awareness, but never solved.0 -
Herbert Spencer called that "Survival of the Fittest".
Not to trivialize this very serious topic, but this reminds me of when people blame McDonalds or their Significant Other for MAKING them fat. No. YOU made YOU fat.
The "bully" child didn't pull the trigger, the "victim" child chose to pull the trigger. Where were their parents, teachers, and mentors?
Seriously? Uhhhh, the victims didn't MAKE bullies torture them, so it's not a valid comparison at all.
So what if the bully child didn't pull the trigger? That's like saying that the woman got raped because she 'asked for it' by wearing a short skirt.
This whole blaming the victim mentality bullsh*t is disgusting and ridiculous.
Where were the parents, teachers, and mentors of the effing BULLY? Obviously the bully wasn't getting the proper support, guidance, and raising if they're torturing other kids so bad that the victims feel there's no way out except for death.
Bullies should be responsible for their actions. If it is their actions that drove someone to harm themselves, they should be held accountable as well. Considering the victim has already paid the ultimate price with their DEATH, I don't think that's terribly unfair or too much to ask at all.
Agreed!
I agree that it's not "survival of the fittest." but she is not blaiming the victim for being bullied she is saying that the victim chose to pull the trigger. It don't see how it compares to rape being the victims fault. If, because I had been raped, i chose to commit suicide would we then say that it was the rapists fault that I committed suicide. No, it's from not having the proper coping mechanisims. The bully (and rapists) absolutely need to be punished for their bullying but not responsible for the death of someone who chose to take their own life.0 -
Herbert Spencer called that "Survival of the Fittest".
Not to trivialize this very serious topic, but this reminds me of when people blame McDonalds or their Significant Other for MAKING them fat. No. YOU made YOU fat.
The "bully" child didn't pull the trigger, the "victim" child chose to pull the trigger. Where were their parents, teachers, and mentors?
Seriously? Uhhhh, the victims didn't MAKE bullies torture them, so it's not a valid comparison at all.
So what if the bully child didn't pull the trigger? That's like saying that the woman got raped because she 'asked for it' by wearing a short skirt.
This whole blaming the victim mentality bullsh*t is disgusting and ridiculous.
Where were the parents, teachers, and mentors of the effing BULLY? Obviously the bully wasn't getting the proper support, guidance, and raising if they're torturing other kids so bad that the victims feel there's no way out except for death.
Bullies should be responsible for their actions. If it is their actions that drove someone to harm themselves, they should be held accountable as well. Considering the victim has already paid the ultimate price with their DEATH, I don't think that's terribly unfair or too much to ask at all.
Agreed!
I agree that it's not "survival of the fittest." but she is not blaiming the victim for being bullied she is saying that the victim chose to pull the trigger. It don't see how it compares to rape being the victims fault. If, because I had been raped, i chose to commit suicide would we then say that it was the rapists fault that I committed suicide. No, it's from not having the proper coping mechanisims. The bully (and rapists) absolutely need to be punished for their bullying but not responsible for the death of someone who chose to take their own life.
Yep agreed.
Would also add that people do commit suicide for a variety of reasons and sometimes are triggered by external events (a breakup, financial ruin, etc) but we don't put a bad ex-boyfriend or business partner in jail just because the other person committed suicide.0
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