Interracial Relationships
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I am the product of an interracial marriage.. I have no place in the world, no identity. I was told I should have died at birth because i'm an abomination.
You are NOT an abomination! No child born is!0 -
I am white and am married to a white man. I have dated "outside of my race" in the past. I can't say it was accepted by everyone. I have several grandchildren. Some are white, some are bi-racial with some being very fair and others having much darker skin. They are all beautiful and are all wanted and loved. My father was very racist and while on one of his rants about interracial marriage he asked my mother "If a little black kid ran up to you shouting Grandma, what would you do?" My mother told him "I'd pick him up and hug him!" Made him angry. But I was very proud of my mother that day.
I can't say I don't notice color. I do. I notice height, weight, hair color, eye color, etc. The variety is what makes this world interesting! How boring if everyone was identical!0 -
After I graduate from college, we are moving to NYC where I doubt our hand-holding will get any double-takes on the street.
Unfortunately, you probably will. Maybe fewer of them, but you'll get them.
Yes, biggots and ignorant people are everywhere, but they at least seem to be ashamed of themselves up North. Down here it's the norm.
No, they're not. I grew up in New York. We had a very active and proud KKK culture there. Not everyone, of course. But it was there and it was no hidden by those involved. People have this idea that the South is racist and the North is so accepting. I've lived many years in both regions and the North isn't as different from the South as people would like to believe.
I'm going to disagree with this. I grew up in a small town in Tennessee, and I moved to New York, then Boston, then Miami when I was 24. Racism is not only rampant but embraced in many parts of the south, especially the rural south. There was one black family in the entire county next to ours, which also happened to host several KKK functions and served as the "headquarters" of their operation in the south. As of 2007, they were still lynching people there. I never met a single hispanic person and only one asian until I moved away from home. We had a handful of black families at our school, but no one ever "mixed" (please do not take that to mean I approve of this behavior or embrace it). Bigger cities like Nashville, Atlanta, and other places with a larger concentrated population are not nearly as bad but there are still areas within the cities that are very segregated still. Don't make the mistake of assuming that racism is dead in the South. It's very much alive and is quite scary.
My family told me they would disown me for dating someone black for years and tried to justify it by saying, "well, the kids you have won't know their place." My grandparents still feel this way, unfortunately. Living in New York and being surrounded by multi-cultural influences was wonderful to me. Moving to Miami was even better. My parents have learned to come around to non-whites, but still do not support interracial marriage.
I never said it was dead in the South. I said it was very much ALIVE in the North. I lived there for 28 years. I think I might know a little of what I speak. And if you think the KKK isn't alive and well north of the Mason Dixon, you're deluding yourself.0 -
DAMN. Unfortunately some parents scar their children for life with shyt like this. Well I'm here to tell you that you can MAKE your place in this world, & CREATE your identity into whatever you want it to be. You are unique & amazing & once you believe that, the people around you will perceive you that way.I am the product of an interracial marriage.. I have no place in the world, no identity. I was told I should have died at birth because i'm an abomination.
That's just fantasy....
Reality is that nobody wants someone like me around IRL. I have nothing of worth in my personality or any meaningful talent that would make it otherwise. No redemption.
Ok, this is gonna sound completely inappropriate, but I find you quite attractive. I am sure there are people out there that want you. Just like another poster said, maybe you are not hanging around the right people.0 -
jtsmou, gotta be honest with you here, if there is any reason people don't want to be around you it's because of they way you see yourself. I highly doubt it has anything at all to do with you being of mixed race. You're just plain depressed & it's hard to be around someone like that without being dragged under.
My heart goes out to you because I struggled with self-image & rejection from my own culture throughout my entire childhood. Fortunately college afforded me the opportunity to connect with other minorities & learn to be ok with myself the way I was.
It wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist, I suspect you'd find that a little more helpful than these message boards. I don't want to discourage you from sharing here, I just think it's important for everyone to get adequate support for whatever they need. And there's a certain point where the "woe is me" stuff starts sounding like "if I keep telling you how awful I am, I can get you to tell me how wonderful I am" & that's not real cool either.
Best of luck bro.0 -
Probably going to alienate a few people but here is how I feel.
I hope I never have to deal with it with my daughters. I have no problem with it, but I don't want them to have to deal with the issues that accompany it.
Having said that, I don't care what the race or sex is of anyone they fall in love with and spend their life with. I will support them 100%. I just feel the added pressure can make their lives and therefore their relationship that much more tenuous.
But, they are all intelligent, independent women, so....they make up their own minds.
I hope, someday, people strike race from their decision making, but I don't see it happening soon.0
