Single..... Help.... Help..
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I have been single for the last 5 years because there were parts of me that I needed to work on, that I felt it wasn't right to bring someone into my life when I wasn't going to be able to help them grow as a person when I had so much growing myself to do. Now i feel I am in a good spot in my life that I am ready to start dating again.
Also, there are a couple of ladies here that are single that, I quite frankly can't believe that they are single. Of course that is just form looking at your profile pic.0 -
After being in a long hard relationship, I learned to accept being single, and have grown to surprisingly like it. I'm not exactly single by choice though. We were engaged, and he passed away from diabetes, which is one reason why I joined MFP and choose to be healthy. I learned a lot about myself and the mistakes I've made. At this point in life, I think I'm a lot more picky than before, which is why I'm still single. ha ha I started to avoid relationships. I had a few great guys hit on me, and we were great friends. As soon as it became obvious that being friends wasn't going to be enough, I cut my ties. I would say I'm ready now, but I'm not going to be active about looking. I'd rather continue being a workaholic, and focus on me. If it comes along, I will let it happen.
Another reason I'm still single... I've run into sooo many guys that find it acceptable to be way too forward sexually. I'm far from a prude, but sex isn't the most important factor. I don't care what his favorite position is, or when the last time he got some was. Guys, give it a few conversations before bringing up sex talk. :grumble:0 -
Another reason I'm still single... I've run into sooo many guys that find it acceptable to be way too forward sexually. I'm far from a prude, but sex isn't the most important factor. I don't care what his favorite position is, or when the last time he got some was. Guys, give it a few conversations before bringing up sex talk. :grumble:
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Yessssss.....what I have just posted on the other thread!!!!0 -
:bigsmile: Being single is not a bad thing. Trust me its much better than being in a bad relationship. I've been single about 9 months now and I'm pretty ok with it.0
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It's why he's one of my favorites!That was so sweet of JT to say to you
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I'm newly single. 3 months into my separation from a 13 yr marriage. I'm finding it extremely difficult and lonely. At first I was all for the me time, now I just get lonely, esp at night.0
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I was seeing this amazing guy who I am still crazy about. He broke things off because he needed to work on himself a little. We are still friends but I miss him like crazy. I definitely miss the affection and security...and the hope that the single life was vanishing.
Last night in cycling class, however, the hurt I felt inside definitely motivated me to push harder and harder. I wanted to leave as much as I could out there so that when I went home I couldn't feel anything. It did help. I had to go to bed early and was able to fall asleep without crying.
Another bonus is that with him not around as much, I can go back to my better eating habits.
However...we had planned to go to Florida together after I lost my last 40 lbs, so now I have less motivation to keep at it. ugh!0 -
I am kinda confused, I really don't know what to do or where to start. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. I initiated it, because we are both the type to convince ourselves that we can fix the relationship. I had been with her for 6 years and we lived together and she just moved all her stuff out recently. I am going through that phase where i'm sad and want to just hold her again but we are bad for each other. I broke up with her because we were starting to get annoyed by the quirks we used to find endearing and also we have two entirely different ideas about our futures and we just seemed to be waiting for one to give in to the others path. Instead of compromising and finding a path we could have together, we played some weird passive aggressive head games. I know that being alone wouldn't be a problem if I had more friends, but I am a shy introverted type.
I am not sure if I don't have friends because I was always in a relationship or if I was always in a relationship because I didn't have friends. I just am sad because, I will sit alone and she has like 100 friends she can dial up and forget about me.
So my single....help help post is, how do you accept being single? I mean I don't want to be the mushy whiny alone type, I feel motivated thinking about all the things I can do with my new found free time. All the while feeling to crummy to take advantage of said time. This is the first time being single in like 9 years! It is kinda intimidating! You can say you like the single life but everybody would like someone to lay around with and talk to at the end of the day, and the feeling of waking up with the one you love in the morning.0 -
I am sorry to hear that. The thing that sort of worked for me was doing the things I couldn't do if I was with someone. You just have to give yourself time and when you are ready go to places where you can meet ppl that have interests similar to yours.I am kinda confused, I really don't know what to do or where to start. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. I initiated it, because we are both the type to convince ourselves that we can fix the relationship. I had been with her for 6 years and we lived together and she just moved all her stuff out recently. I am going through that phase where i'm sad and want to just hold her again but we are bad for each other. I broke up with her because we were starting to get annoyed by the quirks we used to find endearing and also we have two entirely different ideas about our futures and we just seemed to be waiting for one to give in to the others path. Instead of compromising and finding a path we could have together, we played some weird passive aggressive head games. I know that being alone wouldn't be a problem if I had more friends, but I am a shy introverted type.
I am not sure if I don't have friends because I was always in a relationship or if I was always in a relationship because I didn't have friends. I just am sad because, I will sit alone and she has like 100 friends she can dial up and forget about me.
So my single....help help post is, how do you accept being single? I mean I don't want to be the mushy whiny alone type, I feel motivated thinking about all the things I can do with my new found free time. All the while feeling to crummy to take advantage of said time. This is the first time being single in like 9 years! It is kinda intimidating! You can say you like the single life but everybody would like someone to lay around with and talk to at the end of the day, and the feeling of waking up with the one you love in the morning.
I wish you luck!!0 -
Here's my take on this. I have been through what you are going through now. My belief is that since you have always been in a relationship, you feel as if you need to be. And you just don't feel right unless you are. You're sad and lonely. I know. Been there done that. You need to get out of that so called rut. It sucks to hear this but time does heal all wounds. Take this time for yourself. Do some self improvement. Both physically and mentally. You'll become a better person. Take the time to get over your ex. Please don't make this all so common mistake or you'll never be happy; don't go out and look for a "rebound" girl. The odds are, it won't work and you'll be right back in the same place you are now.0
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So my single....help help post is, how do you accept being single?
Give yourself time to grieve over the loss of the relationship...don't be tempted to go back to it and don't rush into another. When you start feeling better, try getting involved in some new things - make some new friends. Make positive changes in your life. You might be surprised to learn that your new life might be better than you dreamed it might be!!
Good luck 0 -
I agree with both of the above posts.0
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Thanks I appreciate it, I guess it is sorta like the reason I am on the site in the first place fitness. It is tough until it isn't, thanks again.0
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I am currently single and un-sure if thats good or bad lol. I like the idea of being in a relationship with romance, fun, and friendship but as I have met men online that thought has changed. I asked myself why and I found that I have changed since I was in a relationship. I want different things now than I did back then. I have new dreams and goals in life and until I figure out who the new me really is and her needs, I feel that I am not ready for that "relationship".
Don't get me wrong I will still go out and have fun meeting new people and experiencing new places and atmospheres since this has helped me realize what I want and don't want. I've met decent men and creepy ones too.. Life is good for now...0 -
I'm single, which is crazy because I'm awesome! LOL
I am DREADING New Year's. It's worse then Valentines.0 -
I'm single, which is crazy because I'm awesome! LOL
I am DREADING New Year's. It's worse then Valentines.
It's funny you say that brcause I think New Year's is worst than Valentines day too.. This would be the first New Year's I spend alone since 2008! ... I only had one bf ever.. So now, I have no clue what to do...
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I don;t now if I like it or not. I certainly don't like having to make space for someone else constantly and at the moment I have so much work on my plate, that I am super happy when I can go home and close the door and be for myself - for once not dealing with other people....
On the other hand I wonder what exactly is wrong with me lol - because I kinda want a relationship, but can't be doing with any hassle. Besides that, there is just no one I am interested in (okay, maybe a white lie) but well no one shows interest in me, that I in return would show interest in
I think I am just too tired with working 7 days a week...0 -
Being single is not all that bad :-) I read this somewhere "If you are not happy with yourself being single, you won't be happy in relationship either" So I am taking this time to work on myself and be happy with myself :-)
But there are times when I feel lonely and wish I had someone by my side, that can support me, motivate me, encourage me, be proud of me and appreciate me. I guess t's all matter of time :-)0 -
Being single is not all that bad :-) I read this somewhere "If you are not happy with yourself being single, you won't be happy in relationship either" So I am taking this time to work on myself and be happy with myself :-)
But there are times when I feel lonely and wish I had someone by my side, that can support me, motivate me, encourage me, be proud of me and appreciate me. I guess t's all matter of time :-)
I totally agree with you!0 -
I'm single, which is crazy because I'm awesome! LOL
I am DREADING New Year's. It's worse then Valentines.
It's funny you say that brcause I think New Year's is worst than Valentines day too.. This would be the first New Year's I spend alone since 2008! ... I only had one bf ever.. So now, I have no clue what to do...
Me neither. Some friends of mine wanted me to have a party, which I considered until I realized that it would basically be me and a number of couples. Um, no thanks.
I can't believe I'm even thinking about this already.0 -
I'm newly single. 3 months into my separation from a 13 yr marriage. I'm finding it extremely difficult and lonely. At first I was all for the me time, now I just get lonely, esp at night.
I'm sorrry to hear this. 13 years is a long time to be with someone. It must be a huge adjustment. As someone said above, you should first grieve for the relationship.
I don't have any advice but wanted to respond and give you whatever support I can (which isn't much).0 -
I've been single for many years. At times I've enjoyed being the single independent woman. But now I'm ready for a relationship or even companionship, or a date... lol. I'm not letting seeing couples together during the holidays get to me, but it would be great to have a date for New Years Eve!0
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This Christmas going to be ugly for me. My sister got married last fall and just had a baby. On top of that, I have two cousins who have both gotten married within the past couple months whom I haven't seen in over a year and a half. I know I'm going to get the "found a guy down there in Virginia yet?" which will make me want to throw punches. Ugh, there's a reason I keep my family at arms length...
I've only been in one serious relationship, and even then they got on me about when we were going to get married. I hate that.0
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