Positive Thoughts
KaleidoscopeEyes1056
Posts: 2,996 Member
I would like to know who or what helped you with your recovery, and possibly write them a note on here to thank them if they are no longer with us or no longer in contact with you
Like I said on the thread where this idea took off, most of my family didn't believe me when I said this was happening. And there were other factors at play when it happened. My dad (also my abuser) stayed at home all the time with me and my brother while my mom worked 3 jobs. Along with that, my mom was addicted to prescription drugs and didn't really care much of what was going on. The only person I told at the time other than my mom was my grandma, who thought I was just saying it to get attention (to this day, I still do not care for the woman.)
The person who helped me through my struggle, however, came into my life quite a bit later. It was one of my high school teachers. I never told him what had happened to me when I was younger, but he was really intuitive and could tell that I was scared of him (and all men) for no good reason. This man was literally 5'5" and was really funny and not at all mean, but I still was scared ****less of all men. He could tell and he always tried to put me at ease whenever I would talk to him and he complemented me often (not in a creepy way)
I'm no longer in contact with him, but I would like to thank him for the effort he put into helping me!
ps. don't feel obligated to respond if it is too personal, but know that if you want to, we're all in the same boat and we'll all support you!
Like I said on the thread where this idea took off, most of my family didn't believe me when I said this was happening. And there were other factors at play when it happened. My dad (also my abuser) stayed at home all the time with me and my brother while my mom worked 3 jobs. Along with that, my mom was addicted to prescription drugs and didn't really care much of what was going on. The only person I told at the time other than my mom was my grandma, who thought I was just saying it to get attention (to this day, I still do not care for the woman.)
The person who helped me through my struggle, however, came into my life quite a bit later. It was one of my high school teachers. I never told him what had happened to me when I was younger, but he was really intuitive and could tell that I was scared of him (and all men) for no good reason. This man was literally 5'5" and was really funny and not at all mean, but I still was scared ****less of all men. He could tell and he always tried to put me at ease whenever I would talk to him and he complemented me often (not in a creepy way)
I'm no longer in contact with him, but I would like to thank him for the effort he put into helping me!
ps. don't feel obligated to respond if it is too personal, but know that if you want to, we're all in the same boat and we'll all support you!
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I still find it so sad yet remarkable that you had to go through all of this alone. You know, I won't tell my grandma because I tend to feel that she'd be really old school and say that you shouldn't talk about those things-so I can relate to that. I just recently came out about the abuse and told my mom 2 months ago. She immediately flew down to NC to be with me for the weekend and was incredibly supportive-she still is.
I kind of knew she would be, because she already went through this with my brother 12 years ago (he was raped as a child and told the family about it in a suicide note when he was 18). It took years, but my brother is finally living a normal life with a family of his own. I had always been afraid to speak up and tell anyone that my cousin abused me, but also that my brother abused me as well. He was getting a lot of attention and praise for being so strong and I was afraid to take that away from him and turn him into a monster in my family's eyes.
Now that the dust has settled and everyone is happy, I guess I felt more confident about saying something. My mom doesn't really know HOW to be supportive or WHAT to say or do, but she tries desperately. She's always sending me money to pay for therapy, calling, emailing, etc. My massage therapist and best friend has also been detrimental. He endured horrible sexual abuse as a child and I always looked up to him because he's at so much peace now. Lastly,my poor boyfriend has been great. I can't imagine how selfless you have to be to be the partner of a survivor...but he's really trying, reading books, trying to never ask me for sex or make me feel guilty about our lack of sex life lately.
Who has inspired or helped you? We'd all love to hear from you
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I have so many people I would like to thank, some for just the smallest of things. Like my step-nan - we were never close, but I was having a bad day one day, and she realised it was connected to my brother. She knew he could be violent, and one of my sisters had accused him of sexual abuse, but hadn't been listened to. All she did that day was take me aside and ask me what he did to me. I never could answer her, couldn't say it out loud, but just the fact she asked made me feel like someone cared, someone would listen.
My school was amazing, my Latin teacher especially, but also others. I had a nervous breakdown at 17, went from an A grade student down to barely remembering my own name. They allowed me to board at school on weeknights, because they knew being at home was being very detrimental. They even lied to my parents about why I needed to stay at school at that time. I am so lucky I had that place to run to.
Of course there has been a counsellor or two along t he way, but the person I want to thank most is my boyfriend. I have thanked him several times, and he knows how much he's done for me. He has allowed me to talk, when I need to. He has loved me unconditionally for 14 years, through some times when I hated myself, and didn't treat him very well either. He has put up with my moodswings, including in the bedroom, when I would go from being ok to a screaming flailing banshee because I had a flashback/panic attack. He has provided for me when I was incapable of holding down a job of my own, He has supported me every inch of the way, and I love him for it.0 -
I also have my fiance to thank. I met him about a year after I got help from my teacher, and he was awesome! Out of all the guys I dated, Alex was the only one I told about what happened, frankly because I wasn't expecting a long-term relationship with any of the other guys.
When I told Ale, he kinda went into a rage until I told him that my dad was no longer alive (my mom always wondered why I didn't get upset at my dad's death, and it may sound horrible, but I really wasn't sad at all.) He felt relieved when I told him that.
And, like you guys were saying, because of what happened and because I was a virgin anyway, he didn't expect sex like the other guys I was with (one of the main reasons it didn't work is because I wouldn't give it to them, but that goes back to me not seeing myself in a long-term relationship with them) Alex has been supportive through my random crying and thankfully this is over for the most part, so I also have Alex to thank!0 -
Surprisingly, I was never angry with the first person to abuse me. I was angry with my parents for not protecting me. I'd like to thank the therapist I saw during my first college experience who helped me work through my anger at my father. I'd also like to thank my father and his second wife (who has since succumbed to breast cancer) for their support over the years. I'm grateful for my grandmothers, for the good friends I've been blessed with and for so many others.0
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