Balancing everything

rdvincent

ladies, I am struggling to find time to get everything done around my house, I have an 8 and 3 yr old at home and care for an 86 yr old,full time she's paralyzed on her left side with dementia, so with keeping house, homework and stuff, I've found that the first person I don't take care of is me.
my husband works and I can't leave the 86 yr old alone so everything is done at home, which leads to stress I may add! which leads to eating bad at times, how do you all balance it. bring on the ideas so I can get back on track!
thanks

BestCindyICanBe

You are in a tough situation. I don't have an elderly person that I am caring for but I have 4 kids that I am trying to keep up with. For dinner I try to use my crock pot as much as possible. For lunches I try to keep things easy...sandwiches, fruit and baby carrots ( that is what my kids have in their school lunches also). My house is not the cleanest. I have tried to do the list of daily chores that the Flylady has listed on her site...www.flylady.net . The Fly Lady has you do baby steps to keep things up. It doesn't seem so overwhelming then but some days I can't fit it in. I have made exercise one of my priorities because if I don't take care of myself there is no way I can take care of other people.

Cindy

fallenangelloves

Well as far as the eating bad.... If its not in your house you can't eat it. Cooking healthy for everyone in the house is a win win situation. When you do cook, cook enough so there are leftovers for lunch the next day. That saves some time out of your day. I exercise either before everyone gets up or after everyone is in bed. Nap time is when I clean. I have a very supportive husband that has also gone on this journey with me and when I need to REALLY clean.... Watches the kids so I can!

If you have a smart phone, download an app to help keep you organized. I have one for my grocery list and as I see I'm out of something I quickly add it. I do sit down (usually in bed) one. It a week and plan out all my meals and make my list. It was tough getting in the habit at first but in the long run has saved me alot of time and worry!

I have twin 20 year old daughters that although don't live with me anymore, call daily to go over every detail of their lives... A 13 year old son, 2 year old daughter and a 1 year old granddaughter that I watch 2 days a week. I also work Customer Service 3 days a week. So life is always hectic here.... But I had to make me a priority in there somewhere... And everyone benefits when you are in control! You can do this!!!

rdvincent

thanks girls! the crock pot is a really good idea, and yes I may have to roll out of bed before everyone else to get that exercise in! yuck! on the getting up earlier!

molsenrice

Hi rdvincent!

I, too, have an 8 and 3 year old, so I can relate to your situation from that perspective. But, I don't care for an elderly person, so I can only imagine the additional layer of stress that adds.

Like the other ladies mentioned, you'll have to find your organization 'zone'. I, too, use the crock pot as often as I can since dinner time is crazy in our house. Also, can you hubby agree to a schedule time off for you on the weekends where your get your time away to exercise and relax, so you're feel re-energized for the next 5 days while he works? Or, can you get/pay for someone to come into your home (i.e. 'Visiting Angels') to watch your elderly relative, so you can exercise or just walk/run outside for an hour? Maybe the 3 year old can go to a 'Mommy's Day Out' session at the same time? Anyway, just some thoughts.

I'm the Group Moderator for 'Mission: Fit Moms', and we recently had a similar discussion thread. Read through it for any ideas that might work for you. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/398259-when-do-you-fit-in-exercise

Take care,
-Michelle
'Mission: Fit Moms' Group Moderator

deejaroo

I have a full time job as an accountant, and 3 kids (13, 4, and 1) and I hear ya sista'! I have some great crock pot recipes that I'd be glad to post here... One SUPER easy one that even my picky husband will eat.

Shredded Chicken Tacos
It's 3 ingredients... 4 FROZEN Boneless, skinless chicken breasts, 1 package of taco seasoning, and a jar of your favorite salsa.

Put in crockpot... Turn on low for 6-8 hours. Take chicken out. Shred with 2 forks.

To keep the calorie count down, I eat it with shredded lettuce, but my family puts it on tacos, burritos, etc. it's REALLY good!

I also have a really good and low fat chili recipe that I'll have to find that I can post if you'd like.

It's my first day. I've been on Weight Watchers for over a year now and the 30 lbs I've initially lost is creeping back and I really don't want to have wasted all that effort. I have another 50 to go, and this whole work/mom/life thing is making things difficult!

DJ

duckpond11

I figure the key is to not try to take on too many changes at once. I would personally just focus on getting your nutrition under control, and try to find ways to make your daily life more active, although it sounds like you must get lots of activity in already just doing house cleaning. What about cooking in bulk and freezing? Like making a double batch of whatever you are making and start stocking the freezer? I've also re-discovered frozen and canned vegetables. Sometimes they are not as good as fresh for sure, but you can nuke them in the microwave to have them plain, or throw them in casseroles and stir fry.

rdvincent

I have heard what you've all said! and I am breaking out the crockpot for sure, that chicken recipe sounds really good!, I have started to make time for my exercise, wether it's morning or night I just need to make time for it, my husband is great, very supportive and helpful, only problem is he has his own business and doesn't have regular hours, but I am learning to use him when he is home! thanks for all the advice!

trlrnrgrl

What you're going through sounds really rough! I only have a 3 yr old at home and work a few hours a week from home, and I can't seem to keep it all together sometimes, especially when our son is sick or home from school. I can't imagine adding caring for an older adult, too.

Getting up early has worked pretty well for me, too. I'm a night owl, so it's still hard to do, but I'm always glad I did it once I'm done. It makes me feel good to have gotten something accomplished for myself right off the bat.

As far as getting your husband's help, one thing that has been a big help for us is to sit down each week with our schedules and plan out our time for the week - so that way we each get our exercise in.

tigerblue

Wow! You must feel like the sandwich generation poster child!

I was there for about four years when my kids were young. It is really hard.

I found exercise dvds invaluable (and still do--now I have teenagers but no longer care for Grandma. Thank God my sister took that over. I pray for her often!)

Also, sometimes I would push Grandma in the wheel chair for exercise, but that was only when my husband had the kids of course.

Best of luck to you. This is TOUGH beyond what anyone knows unless theyve been there.

Tornado_JS

I don't have grandma in the house and that sounds like a lot to handle. I do still have four kids at home, that I homeschool. Which means they are here All. The. Time. Along with the housework we have a farm, with animals that must be cared for twice a day. My husband works a minimum of 60 hours a week at the paying job, and he is also a Volunteer Fire Fighter/First Responder and gets called away from home often.
Planning is the only way to get things done. For me, I have to plan out the meals. I like to "cook once, eat for a week", use the crockpot often and do a lot of " freezer cooking." I also like to plan out a list of jobs to do for the week and give everyone a chore with a time to get it done. There is a satisfaction with checking things off a list, even for the kids.
I still have trouble finding time for exercise and personal time (I have not gone pee by myself in 26 years..LOL) but with a list to check off I am stay very busy and the planned meals are controlling the calories.

Lori02139

Hi - I am a few weeks late to this thread, but I can relate. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year. She lived downstairs in our 2 family house. At that time my kids were 6 and 4 and I worked full time. She declined very quickly, so someone had to be with her 24/7. Even though I have 3 sisters, they all live far away and could not help day to day. I ended up being the primary caregiver. Needless to say, it was not an easy feat. I ended up taking leave from work to take care of mom. She died only 3 months after her diagnosis, but I was glad I was able to help her during that time.

It was only for a few months, but it was incredibly stressful trying to keep in control of everything. One thing you really need is some time out of the house! You need a mental break from it all, whether it is just you getting out of the house by yourself, or date time with your husband (without kids).

Even though my sisters couldn't help day to day, 2 of them would come every other week and stay for a few days so I could get a break. I also had cousins who would offer to sit with my mom for a few hours so I could go for a walk or a movie. I can't tell you what a mental help that was! If you have family and friends close by, ask for help! You'll be surprised how many people will offer. Take them up on it! I wish you all the best.

Lori