some of my moments when humor is key.
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StevLL
Posts: 921 Member
Gluten's Lament
So the doctor she said “no more Gluten”,
What’s that mean, sounds high-falutin’.
I ask to explain and she says with a frown,
No more wheat or pasta and put the bread down.
So it’s off to the store, I’m feeling low,
No pasta, no bread, what a dirty blow.
I hem and I haw and I finally give in,
Tis been two whole days, I’m about to cave in.
Time passes on and I learn to endure,
I’m reading labels, no gluten for sure.
It’s been four months and I must confess,
No bread, no pasta, it’s no big stress.
Finding alternatives, some good some bad,
I’m happy and healthy, Gluten free and not sad!
Wait it's still Fall!
Walkin' the garden inspectin' the bounty,
I'm bustin' with pride, it's the crop-o- the county.
I say's to myself, just a little more time,
when I'm back from vacation fruits' be ripe on the vine.
So I'm back from my journey and it's straight off to work.
Not a problem say's I, Mother Nature has perks.
She'll hold the fruit ready, till it's perfect to pick.
When the weekend arrives, I'll be out there right quick.
All Summer long, did I water and toil.
From right off the vine, I can eat, chop or boil.
Now this guy on the Telly, he says with a fright!
Jack Frost is here early, tis a freeze comin' this night.
Damn, I say’s, I can't blanket it all.
What's old Jack thinkin', it's only just Fall.
So I'm out here pickin', as the cold makes me numb.
To Mother Nature I'm whinin', I just pricked me thumb.
On the slightest O breeze, I feel a grin.
Mother Nature is patient, a heart without sin.
A whisper I feel, it say's don't ya know.
I'm a woman say's she, the plan held no snow.
Jack Frost screwed it up, just like a man.
He came early and left,
Wham Bam thank you Mam!
Two nights of Christmas
Twas two days after Christmas
and all though the house.
Not a creature was stirring,
then came that damned mouse!
It came from the bathroom
and ran down the hall.
The cats went nuts,
what a free for all.
First the lamp got knocked over
the hat rack took a spill.
The hissing and chaos,
guess the dogs had their fill.
Now there’s running and barking,
furry critters gone mad.
Tis the scene we wake to,
we're getting the mouse for ya dad!
So the wife she helps out,
She yells its right over there.
As I trip over someone's tail,
She screams help it's back here!
It's like keystone cops,
just with tail and fur.
Where are my happy little puppies
and my kittens that purr?
As we chase it here
and corner it there.
The mouse screams "oh sh...",
I just wanted some cheer.
A warm place to lie down,
a snack before bed.
Is all this mouse wanted,
but you're all out of your head.
So it's off to his hole,
and he slips out of sight.
In his squeaky voice he screams,
Ya'll gave me a fright!
I'll never come back,
is the last thing we heard.
Then he popped back up
and flipped all six cats the bird.
The moral of the story,
this ain't no news.
With 6 cats and 5 dogs,
sometimes you don't snooze.
So the doctor she said “no more Gluten”,
What’s that mean, sounds high-falutin’.
I ask to explain and she says with a frown,
No more wheat or pasta and put the bread down.
So it’s off to the store, I’m feeling low,
No pasta, no bread, what a dirty blow.
I hem and I haw and I finally give in,
Tis been two whole days, I’m about to cave in.
Time passes on and I learn to endure,
I’m reading labels, no gluten for sure.
It’s been four months and I must confess,
No bread, no pasta, it’s no big stress.
Finding alternatives, some good some bad,
I’m happy and healthy, Gluten free and not sad!
Wait it's still Fall!
Walkin' the garden inspectin' the bounty,
I'm bustin' with pride, it's the crop-o- the county.
I say's to myself, just a little more time,
when I'm back from vacation fruits' be ripe on the vine.
So I'm back from my journey and it's straight off to work.
Not a problem say's I, Mother Nature has perks.
She'll hold the fruit ready, till it's perfect to pick.
When the weekend arrives, I'll be out there right quick.
All Summer long, did I water and toil.
From right off the vine, I can eat, chop or boil.
Now this guy on the Telly, he says with a fright!
Jack Frost is here early, tis a freeze comin' this night.
Damn, I say’s, I can't blanket it all.
What's old Jack thinkin', it's only just Fall.
So I'm out here pickin', as the cold makes me numb.
To Mother Nature I'm whinin', I just pricked me thumb.
On the slightest O breeze, I feel a grin.
Mother Nature is patient, a heart without sin.
A whisper I feel, it say's don't ya know.
I'm a woman say's she, the plan held no snow.
Jack Frost screwed it up, just like a man.
He came early and left,
Wham Bam thank you Mam!
Two nights of Christmas
Twas two days after Christmas
and all though the house.
Not a creature was stirring,
then came that damned mouse!
It came from the bathroom
and ran down the hall.
The cats went nuts,
what a free for all.
First the lamp got knocked over
the hat rack took a spill.
The hissing and chaos,
guess the dogs had their fill.
Now there’s running and barking,
furry critters gone mad.
Tis the scene we wake to,
we're getting the mouse for ya dad!
So the wife she helps out,
She yells its right over there.
As I trip over someone's tail,
She screams help it's back here!
It's like keystone cops,
just with tail and fur.
Where are my happy little puppies
and my kittens that purr?
As we chase it here
and corner it there.
The mouse screams "oh sh...",
I just wanted some cheer.
A warm place to lie down,
a snack before bed.
Is all this mouse wanted,
but you're all out of your head.
So it's off to his hole,
and he slips out of sight.
In his squeaky voice he screams,
Ya'll gave me a fright!
I'll never come back,
is the last thing we heard.
Then he popped back up
and flipped all six cats the bird.
The moral of the story,
this ain't no news.
With 6 cats and 5 dogs,
sometimes you don't snooze.
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