Hello everyone, just joined..

kimberley_1

I think I’ve probably been depressed on and off since my mam died in 1997 to be honest
I remember the doc said sometimes it just the way a person is in there nature and that was after having my first child ( I was 19) I just agreed with him..... Maybe if I got help then I would know what to do and be a bit better by now (I’m 26 now)

Saying that though last year I was really bad I feared how things might turn out I did go to the docs and since I didn’t want any meds he sent me to a thing called MIND (helping people with mental health) its in the UK
It was just talking like hypnotherapy closing your eyes and imagining you’re in a happy place but I wasn’t to comfortable about it and afterwards when he told me to wait in the waiting room (oh and this was in a children’s centre witch I understand why it might be you know with mothers and kids go together but I felt like everyone new why I was there and I was a filer or something) he was talking to some other man talking about me thinking I couldn’t here, one of the other doors was open..
so needless to say I didn’t go back there and waited another yea before going back to docs and went on some pills for a while, think they did work for a bit but my partner was saying I didn’t need them I wasn’t depressed.. so I agreed and stopped :l I’m not going to argue with him about it after all I would rather not be depressed and if he thinks I wasn’t then I must be...

So basically I just deal with it myself and not talk about it to anyone, put on a brave face for my family... I have days were it just comes out of no were and its horrible, my partner just carries on like normal and I have to pretend everything’s ok... at the very best it lasts 2 days but that hasn’t happened for a goof few months now.. it’s more like I’m ok for 2 days now lol and I’m mad for about a month or two...........

For anyone readying this and feel they are the same all I can say is keep you chin up and EXERCICE
It really dose help more than I ever thought it would, one 30 mins bike ride can make me happy for most of the day...

and I haven’t done anything so far this week and put 3lbs on, yeah I’m having a bad time atm the days fly by and iv not done anything at all, I try to clean the house wash the pots put the clothes away. I don’t know what I’m doing but they don’t get done

hope I haven’t depressed you lot even more by readying this lol the good thing is if you were person to person you’d never no how I feel inside I’m kind of happy looking

sorry if none of this makes sence and that its soooo long lol
kim
x

ElizabethRoad

Hi Kimberley. I heard from family members that I had nothing to be depressed about, and that I should just be happy. I'm sorry that you haven't had the support you need to properly deal with this, because ignoring it and pretending it isn't there does not work. I hope that you will reconsider getting some kind of help, even though you've had some bad experiences. Not all doctors are like that. But if you aren't ready for that then hopefully you will find plenty of support here.

kimberley_1

Thank you, I was at the doctors the other day and ended up crying even though before I went it I planned to not cry and was trying my best...

And I was sure he was stopping himself from laughing at me a few times

must be really funny seeing someone crying about their own body, yeah I know it’s not something to cry about but I cry when my pots aren’t washed in the kitchen and I can think in my head yeah this isn’t something to be worried about but it doesn’t stop you feeling the way you feel...

I’m really not sure whether or not to ask for help again I’m sure the tablets were making me angry and the exercise and weight loss are really helping me most of the time.

Thanks for replying anyway I was thinking it getting out of this group

X

ElizabethRoad

To be honest, I think you need to be on medication for a little while. (And remember there are many different ones. If one didn't work for you, you may just need a different one.) I have been that way, where any little thing would make me cry, and there was no way to reason myself out of the feeling. In my experience, that is a problem I could not control by myself. It didn't matter what I thought, or how well I tried to take care of myself, those feelings would not stop until I took medication. There was more to the depression than just that, but there was no way to deal with the deeper problems until I got that one under control. Good luck dear.