How much is to much?

vannessasheane

I'm trying not to sound shallow or anything, but how much is to much. I am an extremly strong girl and have been lifting on and off since I was 15. I have most recently got back to the gym mainly because I really love it. I am proud of the muscles that I have and are continuing to grow, however when is enough, enough. I had this discussion with one of the PTs there and conveyed my fears to him, and he said well your only going to get as big as your going to get. Well how big is that? LOL

I am blessed with the right genetic combination to grow big muscles without help, I guess thats a blessing LOL. But I'm starting to feel out of place at the gym. I see all the women there and the men as well that lift hard but not nearly as much as me. I believe I seriously intimidate people. Most won't even look me in the eye when I smile at them. I am really not that scary, least I don't think so.

I know I shouldn't let other peoples opinions effect how I feel, but its seriously starting to work on my nerves that everytime I show up to the gym, everyone clears out LOL. Just mainly ranting but would like some opinions on how you feel about women that have muscles.
[img]http://i1091.photobucket.com/albums/i383/vannessasheane/Weight Loss Journey/weightloss2.jpg[/img]

bizco

I'm sorry you're feeling bad about this. It's the classic double-standard. There are a couple of guys in my gym who are serious power-lifters and all the other guys in the gym gravitate toward them to watch or ask questions; they don't run away or clear the gym. Personally, when I see another woman in the gym who can lift more than me I see it as motivation to push myself. I'm not intimidated by them at all.

I think muscles are sexy on a woman, but you're probably looking for a male's perspective. However...I went out on a date with this guy last Tuesday and he definitely noticed my muscles and he complimented me on them. He said muscles on a woman are sexy. He asked me out again so I don't think he was bullshi**ing me.

Just ignore the haters and keep lifting since it makes you happy.

vannessasheane

Thank you for your perspective, I really appreciate it. Its great to know that I am not the only woman out there that thinks like this.
Not really for a guy's perspective, everyone's really. I think I am just mostly trying to find people to help me not listen to the haters. Give me the support that I am looking for because they themselves are like minded .

caveats

First, let me preface this with the caveat that I live in a state where sometimes I feel like I'm living in 1919 when it comes to women and WOMEN'S attitudes about themselves (we bag on the men enough, it's only fair we're accountable for our own perspectives. ). So when I say that I almost never see women lift at my gym (and it's a national chain gym, not even a locally owned one), I also tend to attribute this to a local bias rather than a general bias. I may be wrong. It happens. (And, yes, you can quote me on that. My bf sure has, haha.)

In the past few months, I'm usually the only female in the free weights section as well, and I have yet to see another woman in the barbell/racks section AT ALL, period. I had one guy actually get in my way when I was in my little corner of the free weights section because he didn't realize I was using the barbell he JUST HAD TO STEP OVER to get to his weights. I, uh, *cough* politely asked him to give me some room so that I could continue with my next set of deadlifts. The shocked look on his face was comical, but he did move. :laugh:

I don't let the lack of females deter me, I let it motivate me. I hope that my being in the weights and feeling confident with the barbells and checking my form in the mirrors will give other women there encouragement to try it out for themselves. One of my co-workers is one of the few women I know IRL who does lift, and she is probably ~50 years old with the bone density of freakin' Superwoman. (She has a frailer body structure, but I would NOT want to arm wrestle HER. :noway:) I love it. No problems with osteoporosis going on over there. I hope I'll have a great, athletic body like hers when I'm her age.

Second, your arms rock. I wish I had even half that amount of muscle (and you are totally lucky to have a mesomorph body type ). I'm still working on strengthening my arms because I have pretty weak upper body strength even for a girl, and my elbows so far haven't wanted to cooperate with any isolation moves for triceps/biceps. If you want to keep going, keep going! You still look girly as well as athletic and fit.

Third, feminine muscles are totally sexy (IMHO). For one thing, I'm a huge fan of the female superhero. I had an insane girl crush on Rogue from the X-Men cartoons when I was growing up. I still wanna be Rogue. :bigsmile:

I think "too much" is for you to decide, not for others to decide for you.

vannessasheane

I completely agree with you on the bias. There are a few women that do lift at my gym but its the 5-10 lb barbell curls, and don't get me wrong I don't think there is anything wrong with lifting that weight. Just upsets me when I grab the 30lb ones and I get dirty looks, well dirty looks isn't right, its almost disgust that passes on their faces.

Like I said I don't have issues with people in my way or forgetting that I am there, they just clear out LOL. I am not letting any of this deter me, I just continue to do what I do because I love it.

Thank you for your encouragement

musclebuilder

There is so much to be gained from strength training. From improving the quality of life to improving performance so you can reach your maximum potential in a given sport. So I look at a women with muscles as somebody who knows the same things I know about the joys and benefits of strength training.

garlic7girl

Girl, rock on! They are crazy. Do your thang and don't be ashamed. I had a dude tell me no man would want me if I kept lifting the way I was and I responded "well that still is not going to stop me!!!" whatever man...lifting is too much fun...plus I feel like I am about to go beat down a villian or something.

chrisdavey

I completely agree with you on the bias. There are a few women that do lift at my gym but its the 5-10 lb barbell curls, and don't get me wrong I don't think there is anything wrong with lifting that weight. Just upsets me when I grab the 30lb ones and I get dirty looks, well dirty looks isn't right, its almost disgust that passes on their faces.

Like I said I don't have issues with people in my way or forgetting that I am there, they just clear out LOL. I am not letting any of this deter me, I just continue to do what I do because I love it.

Thank you for your encouragement

They're clueless. Just like the majority of people in gym's :P Not just ladies!

Keep doing what you're doing & I agree in that you are the best judge of when enough is enough. When that happens, you can go back to the 5lb db's But yeah, women with muscles are damn sexy.

Nirlbou

There are quite a few girls who lift in the free wights area at my gym. but it can change drastically based on the hour in which you go. Like muscles. enter-personal relations take time, effort, and form. Putting a quick smile on your face the moment after you bust someone staring goes a long ways. Think of it as a quick "thank you for noticing"

MisterDubs303

Putting a quick smile on your face the moment after you bust someone staring goes a long ways. Think of it as a quick "thank you for noticing"

This is a GREAT point! And not just when they're staring. Look inviting, and people will be comfortable. So many people at the gym are intimidated by anyone who looks like they live there. Your smile not only makes you seem approachable, but will make less experienced members feel welcome in general. This is a huge deal for newbies. I had to force myself to go to the gym for the first month or two, just out of feeling like I didn't belong there.

As for the intimidation factor, I'm a little intimidated by all the people who look like muscleheads, whether men or women. Their results show that they take their fitness way more serious than I had in recent years. Some of that is probably just me, but it was also affirmed by a guy when I asked a question about the free weight station next to the one he just finished using. He gave me a snide answer that suggested I wasn't worth his time.

Also, as far as interactions at the gym, I think men (or at least me) are a little paranoid about how they interact with women at the gym until they have a good reason to meet them. Men seem to be characterized as predators at the meat market. My gym even has a separate area for women to workout if they're uncomfortable working out with the general population. Stuff like that makes me hyper-aware of how I interact, so I've only really spoken to one woman at my gym; actually, I addressed her husband, but she answered me.

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I agree with those that say it's all up to you, the body image you aspire to, and what you feel comfortable with.
But, you asked for our opinions, so I'll tell you mine:

I think girl muscles are beautiful. I also think femininity and curves are beautiful. I believe both are possible at the same time. There is a woman at my gym whose physique I find very attractive. At rest, all major muscles can be seen, especially in her legs, but the definition is slight, and definitely not overwhelming. She has just enough body fat to still look somewhat "normal" but in every movement or exercise, whether on the treadmill or strength training, you can see incredible definition. When she does pullups, you can see every single muscle head in her upper back, lats, shoulders, and arms. She has definitely put in some years. You curl even more, but when I saw this girl step up next to me, grab some 25 pound dumbbells, and pound out too many reps, I was impressed. Must've been a warmup set. Her body size (and biceps) didn't look like she should be able to do that, but she did.

To me, this woman strikes a perfect balance. She is a beast, but doesn't look like one, except when flexing. You can see her muscles, and they make her look like she loves fitness, but her femininity isn't compromised in the least. To me, you look very feminine, so if you love it, keep going!

fiberartist219

Thanks for inviting us to the gun show!

Honestly, you have to do what makes you happy, because that is the most attractive attribute of anyone. If you enjoy your life and what you are doing, that should shine through, and people will appreciate you for that.

If lifting makes you happy, just do it. I know it can make other people feel self conscious about their own bodies, but they'll just have to get over it.

Meggles63

Girl, I am JEALOUS of your strength! If only.....I'm struggling with 15-20 right now and seriously depressed. Decided to order NROLFW with my Christmas $$ and see what I need to do! Keep it up, PLEASE!

trelm249

If they can't handle it, that is their problem. Obviously be polite and cordial. But also, be true to your goals and focus on those. A strong and firm lady bringing a mixture of power, grace and beauty is a wonderful thing. You may not realize it, but you are probably a motivator and inspiration for others in the gym.

Lift heavy and lift well. Do so for yourself and the others that you quietly push on.

chaNyn613

You have to remember who you are in the gym for- you or someone else. Other people don't need to approve of your quest for health they only need to stay out of the way. Perhaps you are secretly motivating that cardio queen on the treadmill to come to the dark side, lol. I love my muscles- they add curves where they should be, they allow me to eat more calories and they look damn good in a tank top.

Nataliaho

My opinion is that if a man finds your strength or muscles intimidating then he should get in the gym and lift more weights, you shouldn't have to lift less

delmc1

let them look thats what all your hard work is for ,the only opinion that matters is your ,remember it takes a lot of time dedication and sweat to get the BODY YOU WANT .
personally i have my wife training with weights now to help drop fat ,she is doing a similar programe to me .which involves some heavy lifts.

keep up the good work and f**k the haters

irridia

I think I am just mostly trying to find people to help me not listen to the haters. Give me the support that I am looking for because they themselves are like minded .

Come here! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4618-stronglifts-5x5-for-women