Mood Disorders such as Bipolar? Depression?
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TheUniqueSilhouette
Posts: 16
Hey everyone. I am returning to MFP for the 2nd time in hopes to stay aboard even if things get tough.
At times I feel alone with this never-ending battle of weight. But I know that is far from true. I've tried many different weight loss programs and all ended in failure. Not that the program didn't work, but my mindset is never stable enough to continue and stay with it. I get sick of it and each time I do, it's harder and harder to jump back on the horse. My weight is like a yo-yo... a rollercoaster... a never ending battle. I know some people say, "Just eat right and exercise"... it's not that simple for me. It never has been. I'm an emotional eater with Type 1 Bipolar Disorder. My husband switches to night shift every 6 weeks while loading up on 12-hour shifts and constant overtime. While I stay at home with our two beautiful preschool children that are only 13 months apart in age. As soon as I get a chance, my mind inadvertantly takes me to the kitchen for comfort. In a way, I know I am doing it, though, but I don't stop myself because I think I need that satisfaction. My struggles are like any other woman with a weight battle. Struggling to obtain a desired figure to keep her husband on his toes, but failing and watching as her husband worries as her pant size gets bigger and bigger... again. I just wish this could change for me. I wish I could keep a steady weight without the binging, the dieting, the binging, and more dieting. I just want to be normal. Period.
So that's the part of my life that I keep fighting with. Yes, I keep up with my doctor every 6 months, take my medication as directed, avoid alcohol at all costs, I don't smoke or do drugs, I get bloodwork done when prescribed to (for medication purposes), but the only downfall I have to all of this is my unhealthy relationship with food. I'm, like many others, an emotional eater. My husband and I fight... I go straight to the kitchen, I am stressed out... I go straight to the kitchen. My doctor said it's behavioral... much like an addiction that has to be broken with habit and structure. It won't be easy, but has to be done for my health's sake.
For everyone suffering with similar stories or have suffered from similar stories, I know and feel your struggles. Anyone suffering from Bipolar Disorder, depression, or any other mental illness... I truly know how you feel.
So, if you would like to add me as a friend so we may give eachother mutual support, I would be absolutely thankful. Getting back into gear, positively, is something I'm aiming for. I really want to be mentally happy.... That's honestly my utmost aspiration.
At times I feel alone with this never-ending battle of weight. But I know that is far from true. I've tried many different weight loss programs and all ended in failure. Not that the program didn't work, but my mindset is never stable enough to continue and stay with it. I get sick of it and each time I do, it's harder and harder to jump back on the horse. My weight is like a yo-yo... a rollercoaster... a never ending battle. I know some people say, "Just eat right and exercise"... it's not that simple for me. It never has been. I'm an emotional eater with Type 1 Bipolar Disorder. My husband switches to night shift every 6 weeks while loading up on 12-hour shifts and constant overtime. While I stay at home with our two beautiful preschool children that are only 13 months apart in age. As soon as I get a chance, my mind inadvertantly takes me to the kitchen for comfort. In a way, I know I am doing it, though, but I don't stop myself because I think I need that satisfaction. My struggles are like any other woman with a weight battle. Struggling to obtain a desired figure to keep her husband on his toes, but failing and watching as her husband worries as her pant size gets bigger and bigger... again. I just wish this could change for me. I wish I could keep a steady weight without the binging, the dieting, the binging, and more dieting. I just want to be normal. Period.
So that's the part of my life that I keep fighting with. Yes, I keep up with my doctor every 6 months, take my medication as directed, avoid alcohol at all costs, I don't smoke or do drugs, I get bloodwork done when prescribed to (for medication purposes), but the only downfall I have to all of this is my unhealthy relationship with food. I'm, like many others, an emotional eater. My husband and I fight... I go straight to the kitchen, I am stressed out... I go straight to the kitchen. My doctor said it's behavioral... much like an addiction that has to be broken with habit and structure. It won't be easy, but has to be done for my health's sake.
For everyone suffering with similar stories or have suffered from similar stories, I know and feel your struggles. Anyone suffering from Bipolar Disorder, depression, or any other mental illness... I truly know how you feel.
So, if you would like to add me as a friend so we may give eachother mutual support, I would be absolutely thankful. Getting back into gear, positively, is something I'm aiming for. I really want to be mentally happy.... That's honestly my utmost aspiration.
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Replies
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I read your post on the main forums and then followed the comments over to here. I'm really glad they have a group for this! Feel free to add me - I mainly struggle with anxiety and OCD. I'm actually able to manage my depression pretty well, but I'll hit a bad patch every couple of years of so.
I completely understand though - I'm a big stress eater. When I'm stressed, I can work my way through an entire bag of something so fast I don't even realize it. I'm currently trying to "fix" that part of my brain that is wanting food just for comfort or wanting it because I'm actually hungry. It's a tough job. =/ Feel free to add me though!0 -
Ooh boy. You got me on a good day. Severe depression is kicking my butt this morning. Can't stop crying, all that crap. I'm rapid cycling bipolar, and clearly, not under control yet. Usually I'm a very emotional eater, but I think I must be so down this morning that I don't even care to eat. (Yeah, I know. When I'd see people say that, I'd always be, like, wish I had /that/ problem.) I'm feeling apathetic and all the usual goodness that goes with mental illness. It's days like this I want to give up. But being here keeps me trundling along, or I think it is right now. So, yeah, I get ya. And I want to get mentally healthy too. But between that and between trying to lose weight, it all feels so overwhelming at times. Like you, I do keep up with my therapist and psychiatrist. I take my meds. I try. I truly do. And some of the meds simply don't help weight loss. I gained 80 lbs. on Abilify. Took me a year to lose it.
Anyway, if you want a wonky MFP friend with all her baggage and highs and lows, feel free to friend me. I don't think anyone truly understands what we go through except other people who are experiencing it or have experienced it. My therapist put it this way: When you're in a body cast, everyone can see you're really hurt or hurting and unable to do the things you used to. But when your mind is in a body cast, no one can see it, so no one understands or believes how hurt or hurting you are and why you aren't able to do the things everyone expects of you.0 -
bipolar here.. with some OCD tossed in for fun. i over eat/binge eat... expecially when im really down. i used to go nearly a full year with a cycle.. but now i seem to be up and down daily. i take meds and am thinking of cutting them down a bit.. i feel like they keep me more depressed than up.. but i need to watch my up sides or i start to say weird things to people because i just dont care anynmore. I am an artist.. but because of the last year.. i haven't created ANYTHING> i feel like the meds, although they have help stablize me a bit.. sucked my creativeity out .. (the wonderful highs)..
so.. i was on a great path last year after taking a serious nose dive (drinking and drugs) and lost nearly 50 pounds. i was very happy.. but then tore my menscus in two places.. surgety was in september.. and i gained nearly 20 pounds back due to me being unable to exercise at all. now its like starting all over again. and im very frustrated, and i keep sabatoging myself.
and happy to find this group..0
