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Should a spouse ever turn their spouse down for sex?

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daffodilsoup
daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
in Social Groups
I was inspired by a controversial, albeit well-written article here: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2011/12/wifey-wednesday-its-not-all-about-you/

The author has a bit more of a tone of "should a wife ever turn her husband down for sex?", but I've opened it up to both genders here. What do you think about this? Does the author have a point about equality and partnership in marriage? Is she essentially calling women bad wives if they don't want to have sex with their husbands? Discuss!

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  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    Very interesting. My take:

    Obviously it's always ok to say 'no thanks' if you're really tired, or you really don't have time, or you really don't feel good. OTOH, if everything has to be absolutely perfect for you to get busy you're going to have very few opportunities.

    If your husband always has to seduce you,,,
    and/or
    His seduction efforts are unsuccessful >75% of the time
    and/or
    You haven't been laid in a long time...

    Something's wrong. Maybe it's you, maybe it's him, probably it's both of you. But that's not a healthy marriage. Get help.

    ((Yes, as a husband I have said no-thanks several times. Usually 'cause I'm tired. It's rare, and knowing that m'lady is probably on a slow burn I try to make it up to her ASAP)).
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Personally, I get the mopst pleasure when I know my wife is receiving pleasure, so I would rather be turned down than have my wife go through the motions to please me.

    Having said that, my wife has never turned me down. In 23 years. Once, she fell asleep, after too much champagne, but I forgave her.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    i dont think a woman giving her partner some pity sex once in a while is the same as rape, but i sure dont think it should be a major occurance, and if its happening a lot, id consider relationship counselling
  • gemco
    gemco Posts: 129
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    my husband really wouldnt be happy to have sex with me when i was just humouring him. how patronising. he's not a dog that needs walking whether i like it or not and amazingly men dont implode and/or cheat just because their partner doesnt bow to their superior sex schedule.

    i see what she's saying, and if you're saying no more often than not then you've a compatibility problem to work on. solve the problem, not mask by having unwanted sex. way to resent your partner for not caring if you enjoy it or not.

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