How young is too young to be left alone?

cessnaholly

I just found a blog called Free Range Kids, which recommends and enourages a movement of “sane parenting.” Free Range’s mission statement gives a nod to protection--“We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts”--but “We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail.”

Here's the path: http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

What do you think?

BrettPGH

I've heard from this woman before. I really like the idea but i've also heard her make some pretty out there statements. Like children under the age of 10 should be able to ride subways on their own. That scared me.

I STRONGLY believe young children should be paying outside on their own at a young age. It's crucial to teach your kids independence.

Now personally my mother took it to extremes. She was a single mother and a flight attendant. My brother and I were left alone for days at a time starting very young. We were "latchkey kids", which used to just be called "neglect."

Let the kids play outside! Let them learn to solve problems on their own. Put them out of the house and tell them not to come back until dark.

nehtaeh

My girls are 4. I will let them go outside and play on their own, but not for long. I get nervous if I can't see them out the window or don't check on them every couple minutes.

While I think letting them play alone and figure things out is great, there are external factors in play and those are what I worry about more. I worry about the weirdo walking down the street. I don't know him/her and don't know if they are sane.

I don't know what age is appropriate for me not to hover so much but at 4 I can tell you that I just don't trust the world yet.

I also think that age is just a number. Each child should be evaluated individually on their maturity, not simply their age.

debloves2ride

Each child is different. I think they should learn to be independent and think for theirself. My kids all played outside without me hovering over them, but I could always see them. As they got older and more experienced I loosened the boundaries. But I had three kids this worked well on, I had one that it was scary to let her cross the road let alone wonder the neighborhood. As the parent you have to make the decisions for your children to keep them safe, yet let them explore and grow. It is tough. Also, where they are living is a big factor. I wouldn't let my kids wander new york city alone, but out in the country they wandered all over the place, usually in pairs. You have to teach them safety and good common sense (judgement).

vim_n_vigor

I have a 3 and 5 year old boy. We have a fenced in back yard, and a quiet neighborhood. I also have windows lining the back of my house. I will send them outside by themselves and watch what they are doing. Unless I see something that could really hurt them, I let them work things out themselves. There are also times during the day where I will send them to their playroom upstairs by themselves. I listen to what is going on, but make them work things out themselves. There has to be common sense applied to kids. Some kids are better able to be alone at a certain age than others. One 10 year old may be fine home alone for an hour or so while another should not be left alone at all. My kids are at an age where I let them think that they are on their own doing their own thing, but they are not. Their maturity as they grow up will determine their truly 'alone' time.

macpatti

Is anyone else here sexist besides me? I will let my boys do much more on their own than I do my daughter (she's the youngest and only 9, but I can already see the difference in what I let her do alone).

We've always lived in nice, safe neighborhoods, so allowing them to play outside by themselves was never scary to me. I'd let them ride their bikes or walk to the store close by, too. I started having them run into the store for me, walk around the mall without me, and even showed them how to use a debit card while in middle school. I always wanted to have resourceful, independent children. I didn't want to be the helicopter mom or the overprotective mom.

LuckyLeprechaun

It depends heavily on the maturity level of the child, and the setting you live in. Letting your mature 12 year old stay at home alone in your safe suburban neighborhood is NOT the same thing as leaving your immature 12 year old alone in a less secure setting.



However, there are bad guys everywhere, and it is nearly impossible for any parent to 100% protect their child 100% of the time. We do our best, that's all we can do.

killerqueen17

I think it depends on the kid's maturity level, and also the area-- is it familiar, is it "safe," do you know lots of your neighbors, etc. I think they don't always need to be supervised, but you should still be aware of where they are and who they're with. I would never let my (hypothetical) kids go to someone else's house unless I knew the parents, for instance.

My mom was quite protective over me, and I plan to be less-so with my kids, but I think still being aware of where they are and who they're hanging around with is really important, especially as they hit middle school or so.

suzycreamcheese

depends on the child. I let my 10 year old go out and play to a certain extent, but hes not free range. Hes more vulnerable because of his ASD which makes me panicky that he'd freak out and scream on the floor if anything happened

suzycreamcheese

and i certainly cant imagine letting a 4 year old play anywhere further than the garden on their own

Regmama

It all depends. I ususally let me 7 and 2 y.o. play outside (we're not fenced in) with the neighbors, but if it's close to dusk, I want to be with them because of the coyotes in the area. We have a lot of houses with uncovered window wells but I've taught them to stay away. Now, if they only would keep their eyes open for dog poop.

katatak1

Is anyone else here sexist besides me? I will let my boys do much more on their own than I do my daughter (she's the youngest and only 9, but I can already see the difference in what I let her do alone).

We've always lived in nice, safe neighborhoods, so allowing them to play outside by themselves was never scary to me. I'd let them ride their bikes or walk to the store close by, too. I started having them run into the store for me, walk around the mall without me, and even showed them how to use a debit card while in middle school. I always wanted to have resourceful, independent children. I didn't want to be the helicopter mom or the overprotective mom.

This is a common occurrence as parents feel that little girls are more likely to get snatched. While that is statistically true, boys are still at risk. You should teach them how to be alert to danger. I saw a video one time which tested boys and girls and their likelihood of getting into a car with strangers. Because the girls had been well-schooled in avoiding strangers, they were less susceptible to this kind of attack when compared to boys. So, just make sure you protect your boys too!

When I was a kid, my parents taught my sister and I a code word. They said they would never, ever send someone to pick us up without giving them the code word. If the person didn't know the word, we were to run away from them and find an adult we trusted.

2012Kristin

I think it depends on the neighborhood and the child.

My sister and I (13 mo apart) lived in a very nice subdivision and would run down the street to play with neighbors when we were like 6. We felt very comfortable and nothing bad ever happened to us. We were always in the woods behind our house or in someones backyard and there never really was a fear of injury or a bad person approaching us. However, times change and fears have probably increased.