Does it matter? Race?
mznisaelaine
Posts: 2,262 Member
Ok so I was just in another thread "Your so pretty for a fat girl" in the Chit Chat forum and so I replied and I shared something that I get comments like, "Your so pretty for a black girl" or "Your complexion is pretty for a dark skinned girl" or something along those lines all the time... So it made me think... Does race or certain things matter when dating? Do you take it into consideration? Is race an issue? Etc... I would like some opinions/experiences/thoughts etc...
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Doesn't matter at all to me. Some might have preferences I guess when it comes to aesthetics, but if that's all one's concerned about and nothing else then that's kinda shallow. What really matters to me is what kind of person they are, and if they're compatible personality-wise, similar interests, can get along well, etc.0
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Doesn't matter at all to me. Some might have preferences I guess when it comes to aesthetics, but if that's all one's concerned about and nothing else then that's kinda shallow. What really matters to me is what kind of person they are, and if they're compatible personality-wise, similar interests, can get along well, etc.
I agree. I think some people give in to stereotypes first before they can get to even know the individual. I hope that breaks soon!0 -
I think you two should get a room!
Seriously though - I have a bi-racial son. My ex-husband is white. It never mattered to either of us. However I will say his family has a huge problem with it. So much that his parents have never spoken to me or my son. I think I will definitely take that into consideration with future relationships. It doesnt matter to me but my kid is missing out on another set of grandparents.0 -
I used to have a blog about the crazy things white people said to me.
'You are pretty for a black girl' was on the list.
The list was rather long and crazy as hell!0 -
I think you two should get a room!
Seriously though - I have a bi-racial son. My ex-husband is white. It never mattered to either of us. However I will say his family has a huge problem with it. So much that his parents have never spoken to me or my son. I think I will definitely take that into consideration with future relationships. It doesnt matter to me but my kid is missing out on another set of grandparents.
Lol
Aww. That is such a shame. But I'm thinking the grandparents just come from a different time so that's what contribute to how they feel? Doesn't matter but I'm assuming that's your son on your ticker, he is adorable!0 -
I dated a black man after my divorce. I was fine with it but my ex-husband talked SO bad about it to my kids. The reason we stopped dating was not because of that - we didn't click - but I could have seen issues with the kids if they ever met him because of what their dad was saying. I hate to admit I was married to a very racist person. I try everyday to make sure the kids aren't like him.0
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It does not matter to me what the color of a person's skin is, what matters is who they are as a person, how they treat others and how they treat me. Its a shame that in this day and age people are still hung up on the color of skin.0
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Its funny to me when people talk about race and color. You cant tell by looking at me but Im all sorts of mixed up mutt. My holidays growing up looked like the united Nations lol. My cousins and I look like positive and negative photos of each other. Race doesnt matter to me they just have to be taller than me. I am trying to raise my kids this way. They have a bunch of "uncles" (mostly guys I've known since high school) of different races and skin tones.0
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It doesn't matter to me and I hear all kinds of crazy comments all the time. I perfer to date someone who likes me for me verse my size or skin color, because I don't want to be part of some crazy stereotype the man has in his head.0
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Well, it's all about the person's personality, but like hair colour and build, one can have preferences. That said, I've dated outside my usual preferences. I don't think comments like "you're pretty for X nationality" should ever be said though. You're either pretty or you're not, sheesh.0
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I actually tend to prefer men who are not my race and that's based entirely on what I find physically attractive. I suppose I've been rude in my life and told some guy or other that he was pretty for a white man, but given that I'm also white, I very much doubt any took offense. If any ever did, oh well. Opposites attract and I know what I like to wake up next to in the morning.0
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hell no!! a guy is a guy, a girl is a girl to me....I have to like their personalities regardless to want to date them!!0
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I think attractive is attractive period! I am blonde and blue eyed and have dated hispanic and black guys. My TYPE is caucasian, specifically brown hair/blue eyes. I do tend to see myself ending up with a white guy and it's part of my general preference. But it's like some white men only date Asian girls and some people only like red heads, etc. It's just an ideal of beauty for that person. If people only fell for people that were their type or ideal, the majority of the population would not get anyone because when it comes to the media's idea of attractiveness that has been shoved down our throats, only like 2% of the populations looks like that. But people somehow through puberty or whatever generally find what they like to look at but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't be attracted to or end up with someone that was the complete opposite. Attraction is a funny thing and so much more than looks or race or gender.0
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I dnt think love can see color....the heart wants what the heart wants0
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Race doesnt matter to me either. Whats inside, chemistry, attraction, commonality and she is not crazy are important to me.0
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I haven't historically dated outside of my race, but it wouldn't be an issue if I found a great guy of a different flavor then me.
OP - Pretty for a "black girl"? How about just pretty...period!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I haven't historically dated outside of my race, but it wouldn't be an issue if I found a great guy of a different flavor then me.
OP - Pretty for a "black girl"? How about just pretty...period!!! :flowerforyou:
Thank you 0 -
Inasmuch as race can sometimes dictate social and cultural expectations, to me it does matter a bit. For example, I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a man whose cultural expectations of women differed markedly from the western norm of liberated, independent women, of equal intrinsic value to a man. It's more about background, family expectations and where you grew up than race, really, but that can factor into it.0
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Inasmuch as race can sometimes dictate social and cultural expectations, to me it does matter a bit. For example, I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a man whose cultural expectations of women differed markedly from the western norm of liberated, independent women, of equal intrinsic value to a man. It's more about background, family expectations and where you grew up than race, really, but that can factor into it.
I agree with this too!0 -
Inasmuch as race can sometimes dictate social and cultural expectations, to me it does matter a bit. For example, I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a man whose cultural expectations of women differed markedly from the western norm of liberated, independent women, of equal intrinsic value to a man. It's more about background, family expectations and where you grew up than race, really, but that can factor into it.
Spot on and well stated! This is exactly how I feel.0 -
Ok so I was just in another thread "Your so pretty for a fat girl" in the Chit Chat forum and so I replied and I shared something that I get comments like, "Your so pretty for a black girl" or "Your complexion is pretty for a dark skinned girl" or something along those lines all the time... So it made me think... Does race or certain things matter when dating? Do you take it into consideration? Is race an issue? Etc... I would like some opinions/experiences/thoughts etc...
Ugh I hate that kind of thing...I don't know which is worse, racism or rudeness!!!!
I was just dating a black guy...I have a date tonight with a guy I thought was black but now I think he's Hispanic based on his last name...maybe both?
I live in Southern California & based on what I see around me, in a couple more generations everyone will be a nice medium brown shade.0 -
Dupe!0
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Inasmuch as race can sometimes dictate social and cultural expectations, to me it does matter a bit. For example, I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a man whose cultural expectations of women differed markedly from the western norm of liberated, independent women, of equal intrinsic value to a man. It's more about background, family expectations and where you grew up than race, really, but that can factor into it.
Oh that would never be an issue with me. A guy who doesn't like feminist women wouldn't last one date in my company. He'd probably run screaming!0 -
I'm late to the game so pardon me for bringing old threads back to life. :flowerforyou:
I don't care about race at all... but I do have my preference. I'm a latina girl and I love me some white men!!!! I don't know why but I do... :blushing:
I have dated different races though.. but the white guys just make me go ga-ga.
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I dont think race should matter at all. Its all about who you click with after all is said. Some people I think are stuck in that old mind set. Me personally I dont care about race its not a big deal to me as long as you click with a person nothing else should really matter.0
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I'm late to the game so pardon me for bringing old threads back to life. :flowerforyou:
I don't care about race at all... but I do have my preference. I'm a latina girl and I love me some white men!!!! I don't know why but I do... :blushing:
I have dated different races though.. but the white guys just make me go ga-ga.
Oooh, I'll swap you one white man for one latino, even trade! :laugh: Actually, I don't have any extra white men on hand at the moment, but I like latino guys, my last boyfriend was. Too bad his dumb self was still married and didn't feel like mentioning it. :grumble:
On the plus side, I did get a few years of free spanish lessons. My accent still sucks, though.0 -
I'm late to the game so pardon me for bringing old threads back to life. :flowerforyou:
I don't care about race at all... but I do have my preference. I'm a latina girl and I love me some white men!!!! I don't know why but I do... :blushing:
I have dated different races though.. but the white guys just make me go ga-ga.
Oooh, I'll swap you one white man for one latino, even trade! :laugh: Actually, I don't have any extra white men on hand at the moment, but I like latino guys, my last boyfriend was. Too bad his dumb self was still married and didn't feel like mentioning it. :grumble:
On the plus side, I did get a few years of free spanish lessons. My accent still sucks, though.
Too funny... I know alot of latino guys love them some white women.
My ex (white) loves hispanic women, he says we're crazy, but he loves them! haha0 -
I'm late to the game so pardon me for bringing old threads back to life. :flowerforyou:
I don't care about race at all... but I do have my preference. I'm a latina girl and I love me some white men!!!! I don't know why but I do... :blushing:
I have dated different races though.. but the white guys just make me go ga-ga.
Oooh, I'll swap you one white man for one latino, even trade! :laugh: Actually, I don't have any extra white men on hand at the moment, but I like latino guys, my last boyfriend was. Too bad his dumb self was still married and didn't feel like mentioning it. :grumble:
On the plus side, I did get a few years of free spanish lessons. My accent still sucks, though.
Too funny... I know alot of latino guys love them some white women.
My ex (white) loves hispanic women, he says we're crazy, but he loves them! haha
We (mostly) Irish women are crazy, too. Shhh, don't tell anyone!0 -
It doesn't matter to me at all. But I know that my mom will disapprove anyone outside of my nationality. And I can understand her, being from a not very diverse country she is not used to and not exposed to different nationalities and races. But I think since I've been living in the States for a while now, she understand that the chances of me dating someone the same nationality as me are very very low and she is trying to accept that fact :-)0
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My mom's grandma was Irish, my kids are mixed. I grew up in a small town up north in Michigan. I was usually the only person of color from Kindergarten - 12th grade. No one would date me at all. Now, I live in Pacific NW. There's a lot of racism and prejudice here. I also attend med school. People make a lot of rude comments to me, even strangers in stores make comments about me and my kids. It sucks! Even outside of my kids school where I park when I drop them off I've seen the police come up behind me multiple times and wonder if someone called because they were scared. I've even had a lady come out of her house down the driveway and down the street, knock on the car window and ask what I'm doing here? People can be so weird.
Other people I've know for years will come up to me and start talking ghetto to me and I look at them like, "What did you say to me?" One friend was using all this slang on my facebook page and when I saw her later she said I'm cool, I had a boyfriend that was black 20 years ago... I'm thinking why in the world is she saying this to me?
I have not dated much at all my whole life, but it is usually someone outside my race, because of the environment I'm in. I wish people could just look at everyone as an individual not just the color of our skin
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