My issues and goals!

rustbreeches

I quit galloping horses 4 1/2 years ago and moved half way across the country to live with my DH. So not only did I leave the only form of exercise I have ever done, but I began cooking for and eating with a guy. They eat differently than us! Within a year of moving, I was married and pregnant. So now I had baby weight, no time and no racehorses to gallop. It was so easy to give myself a date to be slim by, but then I would just postpone it. I mean it this time. I want to look good in a bikini again. I have very skewed ideas of what looks good, after being so fit and around such thin people for so long. I am not okay at a size 8. It feels wrong on me. However, my DH is good with it. He actually said I was too thin when we got together. I was wearing a 0 or 2 and 123 pounds. You could count my ribs and vertebrae. I could also bench nearly 200 pounds. I know I will not get back down that low, but I want to be happy in my own skin again and not worry if something makes me look fat

wehrlegirl

I also have a skewed idea of what looking good, or being a healthy weight means. When I competed in collegiate Tae Kwon Do I was obsessed with calories and weight so I got very unhealthy and trained like a crazy person.. then when I stopped, nothing could keep the pounds off. So I try not to get caught up into weight but being fit and healthy looking. However there is a disconnect because I feel strong , but then I look in the mirror and its like being hit over the head.. its not where it should be at all. Who knows, maybe being obsessive it not a bad thing..