What does "not looking for anything serious" mean to you?

La_Amazona

I am one of those... I'm going through a divorce and want to be by myself and use this time to heal, to grow, and to just have fun.
So then what's the point of dating?

I get stuck there. I mean, if I met someone who just rocked my world and I his, I'd go for it! But I'm not looking for that. I'm also not looking for hook ups. I am one of those that won't have sex outside of an exclusive relationship... for the most part (just leaving room for error haha). But with the older guy I sorta dated, I saw him for a grand total of 3 months and didn't have sex with him. Granted we weren't exclusive but we didn't see other people either. I just didn't feel he was worth it. In the end, I was right.

On POF, I chose option "I wanted to date but nothing serious". I wonder if this makes me sound flakey or just a party girl looking for fun. I did have "looking for relationship" which I will one day but not right now. I did end up adding a disclaimer saying that I'd be open to a relationship if it found me.

If you can't tell by now, I overanalyze everything! Obviously, I'm not sending the wrong message out there (I don't think) as I'm getting dates with decent guys but like this next date, his says "looking for a relationship". I guess it's just wondering what that means to people out there.

mnwalkingqueen

Honestly on dating websites 'Nothing Serious" pretty much just means looking for sex. Hope POF works for you I just found abunch of men looking for casual sex.

Learning2LuvLindsay

I'm not doing the online dating thing but I'm in the same boat as you. I got out of a 2 year relationship about 2 months ago and I am in no hurry to jump into another serious commitment (bad relationship that was truly over a LONG time ago). However, if the right guy came along today, I wouldn’t be opposed to it either. A few friends have tried to set me up and I'm sort of seeing a guy casually at the moment. I've made up my mind to just focus on me and when Mr. Right shows up.......great! Until then I'm not going to look for him. Maybe try meetup.com where singles get together as a group. That way you can still go out and be social without worrying about creepos or what to put on a profile. I overanalyze everything so I think I would drive myself crazy trying to meet guys online :laugh: .

Meghan0116

Means casual sex.

But, unfortunately there really isn't a good option for let's see what happens.

La_Amazona

This is not what I wanted to hear!! lol I hope that's not what guys are thinking!!!

Like I said, I get alot of messages but none have been vulgar or disrespectful yet.. and I have yet to receive a penis pic message (thank God!). I weed out the "good" ones from the bunch and take it from there. I did opt out of receiving messages from guys who are looking for intimate encounters and such.

I've already changed it once or twice so I'm afraid to change it again.

Interesting to say the least!

christine24t

I would say that means sex on a dating site. In real life, I'd take it to mean that you want someone to hang out with (and maybe hook up with) but you don't want to be serious or label it.

PedmomJill

Unfortunately I agree that "nothing serious" could be interpreted as just looking for sex. Maybe you can clarify what you are looking for in your profile description thing. Of course men looking at you for the hookup only might not even read it lol. I guess it's a risk you take. It's better IMO than lying and saying you are looking for a relationship.

kendrafallon

I agree with what the others have said so far. Though some guys will aim for casual sex regardless of what you put on your profile.

calvert6183

It means either two things, looking for sex or to be wine and dined with just a guy who wants only friendship and doesnt want sex. Not looking for anything serious can be a amazing thing. Hang out, hookup, and be friends with no pressure/stress/arguing that comes alot with relationships.

I dont see anything wrong with it if the woman is respectful, honest, and never mislead. Its rude to ask a guy out and text other guys the whole time. He didnt ask a woman out to just watch her text the whole time. I even see this all the time when I go out to eat. Its rude and disrespectful.

Also, its not fair for a nice guy to take a woman out and spend all his income on her and then she goes and sleeps with a bad boy afterwards. Im sorry, its the real world, guys want either to date women or get sex/or other stuff. Good guys may wait and be patient but they like sex too.

One of my good friend is a constant victim to being used. She gets him to give her money so she can pay for badboys dates. I dont think any of you (i know there are many good women on here) are like that but I do know ALOT women are like that.

PedmomJill

I'm about ready to change my description to that. I'm just about tired out of the emotional games. Maybe that IS all you can find from online.

La_Amazona

It means either two things, looking for sex or to be wine and dined with just a guy who wants only friendship and doesnt want sex. Not looking for anything serious can be a amazing thing. Hang out, hookup, and be friends with no pressure/stress/arguing that comes alot with relationships.

I dont see anything wrong with it if the woman is respectful, honest, and never mislead. Its rude to ask a guy out and text other guys the whole time. He didnt ask a woman out to just watch her text the whole time. I even see this all the time when I go out to eat. Its rude and disrespectful.

Also, its not fair for a nice guy to take a woman out and spend all his income on her and then she goes and sleeps with a bad boy afterwards. Im sorry, its the real world, guys want either to date women or get sex/or other stuff. Good guys may wait and be patient but they like sex too.

One of my good friend is a constant victim to being used. She gets him to give her money so she can pay for badboys dates. I dont think any of you (i know there are many good women on here) are like that but I do know ALOT women are like that.

And see, this is why I don't see much point in me dating. I mean, it's fun. But honestly, I'm not very fond of these first meet ups. It's nervewrecking and stressful. Granted, I haven't dated much in life.. I usually would just meet guys and voila. I purposely wanted to date just to see what's out there. But since I'm not really wanting to go further then hanging/ going out and making out... what's the point? Am I thinking too much? Should I just go with the flow???

Also, rejection sucks. No wonder people told me I needed to have thick skin. The 2nd guy I went out with didn't call me back. Now I didn't feel any chemistry either though he was attractive but he wasn't my type. He seemed more like a buddy. But it bothered me he didn't call me afterwards haha. I don't like to be rejected!!!

teresaj0315

I too am on POF and I've had lots of fun dates after being in a relationship for 5 years ~ i'm not ready to be serious and if I only go out one time with a guy ~ it's fun. I have had numerous dates, all fun and they know I'm not looking for casual sex and if they move on, so be it, but i let them know up front or if they suggest it. I've had a few still hang around even after they know I'm not going to sleep with them ~ so maybe eventually one will get my time ~ time will only tell. Go out ~ have fun ~ date! Just don't give it up until you are ready! Enjoy life!

calvert6183

It means either two things, looking for sex or to be wine and dined with just a guy who wants only friendship and doesnt want sex. Not looking for anything serious can be a amazing thing. Hang out, hookup, and be friends with no pressure/stress/arguing that comes alot with relationships.

I dont see anything wrong with it if the woman is respectful, honest, and never mislead. Its rude to ask a guy out and text other guys the whole time. He didnt ask a woman out to just watch her text the whole time. I even see this all the time when I go out to eat. Its rude and disrespectful.

Also, its not fair for a nice guy to take a woman out and spend all his income on her and then she goes and sleeps with a bad boy afterwards. Im sorry, its the real world, guys want either to date women or get sex/or other stuff. Good guys may wait and be patient but they like sex too.

One of my good friend is a constant victim to being used. She gets him to give her money so she can pay for badboys dates. I dont think any of you (i know there are many good women on here) are like that but I do know ALOT women are like that.

And see, this is why I don't see much point in me dating. I mean, it's fun. But honestly, I'm not very fond of these first meet ups. It's nervewrecking and stressful. Granted, I haven't dated much in life.. I usually would just meet guys and voila. I purposely wanted to date just to see what's out there. But since I'm not really wanting to go further then hanging/ going out and making out... what's the point? Am I thinking too much? Should I just go with the flow???

Also, rejection sucks. No wonder people told me I needed to have thick skin. The 2nd guy I went out with didn't call me back. Now I didn't feel any chemistry either though he was attractive but he wasn't my type. He seemed more like a buddy. But it bothered me he didn't call me afterwards haha. I don't like to be rejected!!!

@La_Amazona, that sucks too. It goes both ways, guys can be jerks and dishonest too. I dont think you are the type that I was talking about earlier. There was a thread earlier about what I was talking about except it was from mothers who had sons getting used. You are one of the good women. Just go with the flow and see what happens and dont think about it. If you try to plan it, with dating/relationships, it usually goes different than planend. In time, when you are ready, I got a friend that ill introduce you to.

kimi131

I would take it to mean casual sex, but that's not always the case. Honestly I don't take what a guy is "looking for" that much into account because like much of online dating stuff (I'm on POF too), they're probably be totally honest. Mine says, "Looking for a relationship," but if I were being totally honest it would say, "Marriage and Kids." And, let's face it, that will scare most guys off (even the ones who are looking for the same."

I think your disclaimer helps. Just keep doing what you're doing. If you're not meeting the losers then I wouldn't worry about it.

jjohnboy2000

With POF, there are too many players on there and regardless of what you put you will always get those willing to lie about their motives.

Yes you could clarify what you are looking for in your profile, but then you have to take the risk that it's not read.

Just be honest with yourself, and honest with the people you date. Have fun & be safe.

lelliebugh

I just joined pof and I am not sure how I feel about it. I'm not looking for anything serious, literally just dating and not being worried with the titles. I'm not into casual sex or anything like that. Ive been out of the dating scene far too long I guess.

kimi131

P.S. I met my last boyfriend (whom I almost married) through POF and my current almost-boyfriend. They're not all out looking for one thing. Like you (I'm assuming), there are some who just like the idea of a free dating site. You just have to be cautious and learn to read between the lines.

bouquet77

I have been on POF for many years and I have to say i have meet only1 maybe 2 guys who where genuine and the rest want FUN please also define fun my idea of fun is a day at the beach or go karting ! seems that i have a very naieve mind when it comes to men. I have kinda given up on that now and hope that 2012 is the year that i find real love after a 10 year silently loveless marriage!

GOOD LUCK t you all and I am sure that Mr / Mrs right is just round the corner for us all we just cant see it

Showgirlbody

I don't necessarily think that it means you are looking for just sex. (Though guys have found a way of getting around the blocks of "must not have messaged people looking for intimate encounters", by putting they want to "hang out" or "not looking for anything serious"). I think as a woman it may look like you just want to be wined and dined. I hear from a lot of guys that the reason they don't like dating is they feel like they are supposed to foot the bill for a lot of women that are only looking for free meals or events but don't really like them. But if you explain in your profile that you are just stepping out there and that you aren't wanting to rush anything, it could go a long way.
When I see that from a man, I just think that they don't want any strings. Like they don't want a woman that will expect frequent attention and interaction, not just that they want to screw as many people as they can. I tend to get the ones that only want you when it's convenient and they have nothing better to do. So they don't want to be expected to hang out several days or weeks in a row. They may text or call you randomly 3 months after they poofed away. It may not even be sinister or that they think of you as a last resort, just that they are busy so they only have time for you when things slow down.

Katefab26

I don't get it. I have "actively seeking a relationship" and all I ever get are guys asking me to join a 3some or looking for a fwb and "see if it develops into something serious". I mean, there is absolutely nothing on my profile that remotely suggests I would be interested, and I have the same pics there that I do here. Explanation?

_itsB_

Id take it as been F**k buddies, or just friends and fooling around without the commitment to be exclusive with them

mnwalkingqueen

I don't get it. I have "actively seeking a relationship" and all I ever get are guys asking me to join a 3some or looking for a fwb and "see if it develops into something serious". I mean, there is absolutely nothing on my profile that remotely suggests I would be interested, and I have the same pics there that I do here. Explanation?

That's because most dating sites are just for women and men to find sex. I have been on several sites and I only met one guy who was will to move at my pace but then he openly said this " I will take it slow with you but just so you know I will be getting some from somewhere' I told him not to ever call me again.

YouAreTheShit

95% of the guys on POF are looking for sex.

Their strategy works much the same as sending spam email does. You send out lots of messages, most will ignore it and delete, and a small percentage will open the email and buy what's being promoted. A commission is earned.

On POF these guys send emails to lots of girls, most will ignore it and delete, and a small percentage will open the email and buy what's being promoted (the creeper's weiner). A commission is earned (the creeper got some).

Sad but true.

Katefab26

95% of the guys on POF are looking for sex.

Their strategy works much the same as sending spam email does. You send out lots of messages, most will ignore it and delete, and a small percentage will open the email and buy what's being promoted. A commission is earned.

On POF these guys send emails to lots of girls, most will ignore it and delete, and a small percentage will open the email and buy what's being promoted (the creeper's weiner). A commission is earned (the creeper got some).

Sad but true.

Gross. (Not you, the guys who are like that :flowerforyou: )

hope516

I also have a POF account and when I see a guy with that I usually assume all he is looking for is sex. But I like you overanalyze everything and I am afraid my "looking for a long term relationship" could scare away the commitment phobes.

hope516

95% of the guys on POF are looking for sex.

Well in my dating life span I have learned that this is true in real life too...at least online I can somewhat screen them :laugh:

teagin2002

Before I got married I dated a lot and was not looking for anything serious at all, does that mean I slept around no, I didn't...
Were there nights of holding each other, snogging, cuddling and snuggling yes, it went both ways.
I wanted to have fun, meet new people, flirt and be happy. Spread joy and laughter and creating ever lasting friendships.

To me a serious relationship is one that may lead to marriage, and when you are young, inexperienced and still forming your won self how can you settle or work on an ever lasting relationship with someone else.

To me when I said not looking for anything serious I meant I just want to have fun and not be obligated to anything at all. I want to be in control of how far and where it goes, and if I am not having fun anymore I can walk away no harm done and so can he.

I now have been happily married for 4 years to my wonderful sweetheart, he is the only man I will work hard for to satisfy and please even on days he is crabby and not fun to be around and that does go both ways too. Before him yes I would try to make them happy but mostly cause it made me happy too, if it didn't make me happy I didn't see the point of it. With my hubby it's different, I just want to make him happy, and when I see that smile no matter how angry I am it makes me smile too. I hate that part, very annoying but happy it still happens.

Carl01

Many times it simply means that a person has an easy out if they don`t feel anything for a person and for whatever reasons don`t want to see them again.
I don`t mean that in a harsh sense,it puts the person saying it in control of the situation and there is nothing wrong with that.