Week 2 Challenge
sunnydays33
Posts: 170 Member
Good Day friends! Well, here we are in another week of challenges. I have been racking my brain for a good one (took me 2 weeks, oops...hey I'm on an island vacation, we go a little slower here) lol
So, last night I was looking thru the forums trying to come up with a really great challenge. I thought originally I would make challenges like: 100 jumping jacks or add 5 minutes to your routine (I still might do these in the future) ya know, light hearted topics.
Then I realized, what might be even more beneficial no matter where you are on your journey is to re-evaluate our 'Self Talk'. I think most of us are on here for the same reasons, to get healthy and to get moving after some sort of 'bad relationship with food or ourselves'. Are the things you say to yourself sabotoging your success...and how often do you repeat these in your head?
Well, I have been kind of cruising along these last 10 months staying pretty positive and truly believing in myself...until the other day. Well, it was a different kind of day. It happened to be Jan 1st, it was also the end of a 30 Day Shred Challenge that I did for Dec. It fell on my normal Sunday weigh-in day and my normal monthly measurement day. And then...it was also my birthday. I never make too big of a deal out of it...since it's a Holiday and we are usually pretty hungover (ha!) and everybody is pretty burnt out for the holidays, ya know. My husband usually fixes breakfast and then we go out to dinner at my favorite restaurant that night.
The day started pretty normal, (well, except we weren't hungover for the 2nd year in a row, yay!) I had my tea and my husband sees me going after the measuring tape and says 'Hey, whatchya doing?" I said, "ya know...measurements and weighing in and stuff." He's like "Really, on your birthday, come on, are you sure?" I'm pretty chipper with HIGH expectations since I hadn't weighed or measured in a month, and I'm like "yeah, why not, I got this." 20 minutes later and I started to spiral...I hadn't even come close to meeting my expectations (which in hindsight were ridiculous by the way) One crummy thought turned into the next and within the next few hours I was in bed crying uncontrollably, totally back tracking to my old 'mean self'. I don't want to dwell on the details since I'm sure you can relate, but I cancelled my reservations for dinner and spent the next 2 days in a complete depression judging myself for everything from my relationship with my parents, my career, my friendships, my body image, all stemming from that 'overweight failure attitude'. It was bad, probably one of my worst melt downs ever which then prompts the shame and exhaustion that you can imagine happens from an episode like this.
Well, on Day 3...I woke up and decided to literally 'wake up'! I was being irrational, my expectations were not realistic and my self talk was unacceptable! I was being the worst friend to myself and that behavior was not helping me accomplish my goals. So, I went for a nice long walk, ate sensibly (since I had actually fasted/starved myself instead of feeding those emotions-neither are healthy coping skills) Then I started to use my words, and share this experience with my husband to try and actually process what had just occured-and to explain that it had nothing to do with him, since I'm sure I lashed out at him more than once in those 2 days. (poor guy, didn't know what hit him)
I started repeating a little mantra: I am worth it, I deserve it, I am valuable and I can achieve it! My happy ending is this: we re-booked my birthday dinner (you can see the pics in the 'Monday Motivator' thread) and I vowed to myself: NEVER again weigh in on my birthday, (ha!) to change my inner dialogue as soon as it starts next time and celebrate my achievements! I did lose over 5 lbs and 5 inches in December and completed a 30 day goal that I had set out to do!
This weeks challenge: acknowledge the inner-meanie, kick it to the curb when he comes knockin' and replace it with self respect.
-sd
(phew...that was the best 'free therapy' I've had in a while!)
So, last night I was looking thru the forums trying to come up with a really great challenge. I thought originally I would make challenges like: 100 jumping jacks or add 5 minutes to your routine (I still might do these in the future) ya know, light hearted topics.
Then I realized, what might be even more beneficial no matter where you are on your journey is to re-evaluate our 'Self Talk'. I think most of us are on here for the same reasons, to get healthy and to get moving after some sort of 'bad relationship with food or ourselves'. Are the things you say to yourself sabotoging your success...and how often do you repeat these in your head?
Well, I have been kind of cruising along these last 10 months staying pretty positive and truly believing in myself...until the other day. Well, it was a different kind of day. It happened to be Jan 1st, it was also the end of a 30 Day Shred Challenge that I did for Dec. It fell on my normal Sunday weigh-in day and my normal monthly measurement day. And then...it was also my birthday. I never make too big of a deal out of it...since it's a Holiday and we are usually pretty hungover (ha!) and everybody is pretty burnt out for the holidays, ya know. My husband usually fixes breakfast and then we go out to dinner at my favorite restaurant that night.
The day started pretty normal, (well, except we weren't hungover for the 2nd year in a row, yay!) I had my tea and my husband sees me going after the measuring tape and says 'Hey, whatchya doing?" I said, "ya know...measurements and weighing in and stuff." He's like "Really, on your birthday, come on, are you sure?" I'm pretty chipper with HIGH expectations since I hadn't weighed or measured in a month, and I'm like "yeah, why not, I got this." 20 minutes later and I started to spiral...I hadn't even come close to meeting my expectations (which in hindsight were ridiculous by the way) One crummy thought turned into the next and within the next few hours I was in bed crying uncontrollably, totally back tracking to my old 'mean self'. I don't want to dwell on the details since I'm sure you can relate, but I cancelled my reservations for dinner and spent the next 2 days in a complete depression judging myself for everything from my relationship with my parents, my career, my friendships, my body image, all stemming from that 'overweight failure attitude'. It was bad, probably one of my worst melt downs ever which then prompts the shame and exhaustion that you can imagine happens from an episode like this.
Well, on Day 3...I woke up and decided to literally 'wake up'! I was being irrational, my expectations were not realistic and my self talk was unacceptable! I was being the worst friend to myself and that behavior was not helping me accomplish my goals. So, I went for a nice long walk, ate sensibly (since I had actually fasted/starved myself instead of feeding those emotions-neither are healthy coping skills) Then I started to use my words, and share this experience with my husband to try and actually process what had just occured-and to explain that it had nothing to do with him, since I'm sure I lashed out at him more than once in those 2 days. (poor guy, didn't know what hit him)
I started repeating a little mantra: I am worth it, I deserve it, I am valuable and I can achieve it! My happy ending is this: we re-booked my birthday dinner (you can see the pics in the 'Monday Motivator' thread) and I vowed to myself: NEVER again weigh in on my birthday, (ha!) to change my inner dialogue as soon as it starts next time and celebrate my achievements! I did lose over 5 lbs and 5 inches in December and completed a 30 day goal that I had set out to do!
This weeks challenge: acknowledge the inner-meanie, kick it to the curb when he comes knockin' and replace it with self respect.
-sd
(phew...that was the best 'free therapy' I've had in a while!)
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Replies
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I love this challenge, thank you for sharing such a personal experience. It really resonated with me about the negative self talk. I try to stay positive, but after being on here for months and basically not accomplishing anything it really makes me think of all of the times that I had self doubt and sabotaged any success that I began to have. I am my own worst enemy, anything somebody else had said to me that hurt my feelings I had said to myself x10. I need to love myself and know that I'm worth it.0
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I love this challenge!!! Good timing too!0
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And again...great timing! I was really feel in down on myself today cuz I have been working my butt off at the gym everyday and not seeing much of a change. Well OK there has been a change I just want to "rebuild Rome in a day" if you know what I mean. Thanks for the challenge!0
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