Don't Know What To Do...

JennBrown83

Okay, so this isn't really weight loss related but this is definitely stressing me out and I'm worried I might go off the wagon a bit. So ladies any advice about how to stay away from my "bad" foods and deal with this would be VERY much appreciated.

So here's what's up. My fiance and I got engaged last February and picked Oct. 20/2012 for our wedding date. We started planning, I bought my dress, we bought the guest favours and in October we booked the hall, put our deposit down etc. So not long after we booked the hall a cousin of mine got engaged and picked Oct. 13/2012 as his wedding date. ARGH! oh well, it's a week earlier and there's not too many people on our side of the family going to both weddings so whatever.

HOWEVER! My grandmother announced to my mom and I today that her boyfriend's grandson got engaged and they are planning their wedding for October of this year. Well us crazy Canucks celebrate Thanksgiving in October, which is the first weekend of October this year, don't ask me why, I don't know and honestly, I don't care LOL. Anway, so with the 6th being Thanksgiving Weekend, my cousin getting married the 13th and me getting married the 20th my mom and I mentioned to my grandma that this kid really only has one choice of weekend in October, the 27th. My grandma seemed a bit stunned but basically agreed. Now, my grandmother is a lovely woman but she bents over backwards to keep the men in her life happy. Everything revolves around her husband/boyfriend whatever.

I have this sinking feeling my stomach that if her boyfriend's grandson decides he want to get married Oct 20/2012 that she'll go to his wedding instead of mine. I told my mom if this happens I will disown her. I am her first granddaughter to get married and she is the only grandparent I have living. This is one of the most important days of my life and if she chooses her boyfriend's family over me, honestly I don't think I could handle ever seeing her again. I can understand missing other things, to be with him, people have lots of birthday and stuff, but most people only get married once in their lives.

Even typing these words makes me feel sick to my stomach.

So here's my question: Should I confront her, ask what she'll do if this punk decides to get married the same day as me?

She's known for almost a year that I'm getting married that day and I made it quite clear today that I have everything booked and cannot, not to mention will not, change my date now. Should I just get it over with or should I wait a few months to see what date this kid is going to pick?

Gods, I haven't had a pop or ice cream in months and right now all I want is a BIG glass of pepsi and a tub or two of Haagen Dasz Mayan Chocolate ice cream... GAH!!!!!!


HELP!!!!!

LittleMissAlx

Hmm, difficult one.

I think first thing, you might need to step back and take a breath. Wedding planning is stressful and everything, and maybe a bit of ice cream wouldn't be a bad thing!

I think I would leave it for now, to be honest. Wait and see what date he picks - he might not even decide on the same month anyway, these things change.

But if it's bothering you this much, perhaps having a quiet word with her wouldn't do any harm.

Is there anyway of getting in contact with the punk, also? Perhaps you could subtly suggest that he chooses a different day (without going a bit mental and bridezilla like about stealing your big day), because I'm sure he would like the maximum people at his wedding as well, rather than having to share guests with you. He might not be aware of your wedding date, anyway.

teedlemac862003

I completely understand where you are coming from! I would sit down and talk to your grandmother and ask/tell her that if he does pick your same wedding date, that they (your grandmother and her boyfriend) might have to separate. I mean, you are HER granddaughter and he is HIS grandson. If it happens to fall on the same day, they should respect their grandchildren and be there. If you bring this to your grandmother's attention, she might suggest to her boyfriend the importance of being at both and encourage him to pick another date.

I hope this helps. I know that the family dynamics are different for everyone, but just a suggestion! Good Luck!

tabatha_burris

I completely understand how your feeling about this!! All I really have for a family is a step family who usually is never there for me :frown: but I have learn to deal with this by realizing the only people who matter that day is me and my fiance (and our kids but thats because we have them lol) If noone else shows up I dont care anymore!! As long as he is there waiting on me and says I do I will be the happies women on Earth!! Try not to let anyone ruin your big day because remember its your big day!!!!!:happy: Hopefully he will chose another day and you wont have to worry about it! I mean Hey I had to change my date because of a football game lol!! I happen to be marrying an Alabama fan!! War Eagle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe If you talk to him he will not set his date for your date! If his bride knows she may not want to share her date anyways I know I wouldnt!!

JennBrown83

Thanks for the support everyone! Unfortunately I don't have a way to contact the grandson, HOWEVER I got some good news! My grandmother was talking to the fiance over the weekend and mentioned that she had two of her grandchildren getting married in October a week apart and she was concerned about conflicting dates (GO GRAMMA!) and the fiance laughed and said she had decided she wanted to get married in the warmer weather so they would probably get married in July!!! WHOOOO HOOOOOOO!! I am so happy, one that my grandmother actually stood up for us and said something about it and because it looks like now it's not even a worry! I am actually surprised that she stood up for us though because she normally just does whatever the man in her life says she should do. I think my mother had a talk with her because something similiar happened last year when my cousin's girlfriend was pregnant. They were planning a baby shower on a Sunday which just happened to co-incide with the SAME grandson's birthday. It was the first great-grandchild my grandmother was going to have and she almost didn't go to the shower because she didn't want to miss the birthday party... I mean REALLY your biological grandson is going to have a baby and you'd rather be with your boyfriend's family???? **takes a deep breath** anyways, I think my mother spoke to my grandmother and told her how I felt (it's easier for my mom to talk openly to her than I do) and that's why she stood up for us but I can't be sure... either way it might not be an issue anymore which is so great.

Also I am proud to say that I did not give in and have any ice cream or pop, which I haven't had in almost 4 months! I am so happy!

tabatha_burris

way to go!! Kudos for not giving in Glad its all gonna work out!