Afraid to love again
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LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
Posts: 3,634 Member
Alright I will be venting here. I have had some bad break-ups in the past & my last boyfriend who also became my fiance had dumped me twice for the same reason, he found another woman who he just recently met.
I know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, don't give up & love will find you but this time around I really don't know what to do. I feel scared to give out my heart & emotions to another person again. I feel too tired to cry, too tired to break my heart & too tired of constantly searching for Mr. Right. Although I do meet some men online who wanted me to be their girl but I don't know if I could trust online relationship because I have been there before & nothing worked. All lead to heartaches.
However I also wanted to have someone that I can share my life with, to have kids, to build a family & to see my future children grow. I don't know how long will I wait before I can finally meet Mr. Right.
I know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, don't give up & love will find you but this time around I really don't know what to do. I feel scared to give out my heart & emotions to another person again. I feel too tired to cry, too tired to break my heart & too tired of constantly searching for Mr. Right. Although I do meet some men online who wanted me to be their girl but I don't know if I could trust online relationship because I have been there before & nothing worked. All lead to heartaches.
However I also wanted to have someone that I can share my life with, to have kids, to build a family & to see my future children grow. I don't know how long will I wait before I can finally meet Mr. Right.
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The key is to love yourself first and get comfortable being alone. Strangely enough, it is that self-awareness and self-confidence that will bring the right man to you. Use this opportunity to decide what matters most to you, what you expect from a relationship and then, don't settle until you see the one who fits. Then pounce.0
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Have been there myself. Its tough because I how do you let someone in to your life when you do they let you down. Amisnercpa advise is good, but when you keep having your confidence knocked it does take some believing.0
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The key is to love yourself first and get comfortable being alone. Strangely enough, it is that self-awareness and self-confidence that will bring the right man to you. Use this opportunity to decide what matters most to you, what you expect from a relationship and then, don't settle until you see the one who fits. Then pounce.
Great advice thanks
I'll do my best to get comfortable being alone, honestly that is the hardest part to do. 0 -
Completely understand where you are coming from. After so many guys and so many heartaches you can feel like whats the point of opening up to anyone only to het hurt again.
At this point I just do me and live my life and pray that God sends me someone worth opening my heart up to. I know its hard, but you have to try not to completely shut down because one day a guy will come around that worth your love and time and you do not want to run him away by closing yourself off.
It will get better. Just do you and when you least expect it you will come across Mr. Right. 0 -
The key is to love yourself first and get comfortable being alone. Strangely enough, it is that self-awareness and self-confidence that will bring the right man to you. Use this opportunity to decide what matters most to you, what you expect from a relationship and then, don't settle until you see the one who fits. Then pounce.
Great advice thanks I'll do my best to get comfortable being alone, honestly that is the hardest part to do.
Here are a few tips that might help:
1. Make a conscious choice to learn to love you or to date you. I am not saying you don't love yourself; our society pushes women to compromise in relationships so you will find that most ladies compromise in the dating faze but will fight for what they want in the marriage faze or life faze.
I persona''y believe the person who puts up with me every day is more deserving of my compromising and efforts for making him happy rather than the person I recently met.
This step will help you realize that you don't have to compromise in the beginning of a relationship and the reasons why you are worth loving and the effort that the other person puts out to be made happy.
2. start going to movies alone with a nice personal blanket, a bucket of popcorn, a drink and just snuggle up and enjoy.
3. Go to coffee shops, order a coffee and read something or just people watch. I like to guess what kind of underwear they are wearing.
4. When you are comfortable enough start going out to restaurants alone and sit at the. Just enjoy yourself if someone comes around and says hi say it back, no expectations just enjoy.
I hope this helps sweetie men enjoy being around a woman who is full of joy and independent. Independent meaning her joy doesn't depend on what they do or what they don't do. I found they tend to work a little harder or put a little more effort if they think you are a happy person With or without them. 0 -
From the looks of your picture I am guessing you are in your early 20s which means you have not even begun to live and love yet.
I know how painful it is today but in the many years ahead you may very well discover that what you think is love today really wasn`t.
Let each day and experience teach and grow you as a person.0 -
I hope this helps sweetie men enjoy being around a woman who is full of joy and independent. Independent meaning her joy doesn't depend on what they do or what they don't do. I found they tend to work a little harder or put a little more effort if they think you are a happy person With or without them.
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^ This is the absolute truth!!!!! If you seem like high maintenance from the start, most men will avoid you but there are those who will stick around long enough to score, then adios!0 -
The key is to love yourself first and get comfortable being alone. Strangely enough, it is that self-awareness and self-confidence that will bring the right man to you. Use this opportunity to decide what matters most to you, what you expect from a relationship and then, don't settle until you see the one who fits. Then pounce.
Wow, I really liked reading this! I've always struggled with wanting to be in a relationship and trying way too hard to be the person that I thought the guy wanted. Well, to be honest, I'm sick of it. I'm finally realizing that those guys I keep trying to impress are not the right ones for me, and I'm not going to find that right person until I'm happy to be me and working to get my own life where I want it to be.0 -
I'm newly divorced. I'm scared to death about being hurt again... it's only natural.
But I won't let my past dictate my future. I'm working on myself in every way possible. I'm in therapy. I'm reading books. I'm working out. I'm purposely trying to spend time being alone and "miserable" instead of desperately looking for a man. Coming from an unhealthy relationship, I need to focus on myself right now. If love happens, then it will.. if not, it will happen when it's meant to be. Sure, it's scary.. but what's scarier is getting into a relationship when you're not ready and cling on to dear life to them and get your heart broken.
In the long run, this is YOUR life. You're in control. Love yourself...
If you haven't read it.. I recommend this website all the time!! I swear I don't work for her.. she has just helped me ALOT during this time.
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/0 -
I just realized I didn't complete the #4
4. When you are comfortable enough start going out to restaurants alone and sit at the BAR. Just enjoy yourself if someone comes around and says hi say it back, no expectations just enjoy.0 -
I agree with everyone above. Love yourself first and find your happiness first. Its important that you find your happiness before you seek for someone to make you happy.0
