Bed Dead

evie70

Mmmmm...the naughty of the naughty. The unforsakable never acknowledged "Bed Dead" phrase. So funny as one day I googled lesbian and this popped up on the browser, as I was searching for relationship blogs and the sort.

I think this is something to discuss. Any lesbians or bi females in a relationship feeling the fire dwindling or who have been there, please join in.

At this point in my relationship, we may have sex twice a month. My doing of course, and when we do its always earth moving. I can never understand why I avoid it so much. I want more excitement in my relationship. Currently I blame my weight for a lot of my problems and hopefully this will change when we both learn to take care of ourselves. We are both 41 and both overweight. I'm 5'8" and 229, my partner is barely 5' and not one to weigh but last remembered she was like 189. I used to smoke and quit 2 years ago, she still smokes and I hate it.

I only hope that we can grow together again. She is a very affectionate person and I always tend to push her away. I wish I could learn to be as affectionate as she is. But for some reason the attention annoys me.

I'd love to hear some stories and thoughts or advise would even be great.

futiledevices

It's definitely not like it was in the beginning, that's for sure. Our work schedules are different, so I feel like when she's in the mood, I'm too tired or vice versa. Sometimes, though, we're probably just making excuses. It gets boring to do the same things all the time and it's not exactly an easy conversation to have.. so we just avoid it. :frown:

lexagon

My partner and I talk about it all the time. But mostly because I like to check in with her and make sure she doesn't feel ignored or anything. We've both agreed that we would rather have great experiences less frequently then ok all the time. It's proved to us that there is more to our relationship then just sex.

Besides with an 11 yr old and only 2 weeks out of every month "free" plus she teaches special ed preschool (which exhausts her) and me working/gym/errands all day, we're both wiped out at night. If we get the urge, we do, if we don't neither one of us goes to bed upset.

evie70

I agree, fabulous experiences definitely make up for lost time. We also have alone time two weeks a month. I have a 16 year old that rotates back and forth and seems like lately she's with me more. We also just had a sweet 16 and that too took most of our time.

My job keeps me long hours, I'm usually exhausted when I get home and all I care about is getting my sleep in.

BanjoKd

We go through 'stages'. Few months of "holy **** that was amazing I can't keep my hands off of you" and then a couple months of "i'm satisfied" lol. (been together 7 years) Now the first 4 years it was on!

BanjoKd

Mmmmm...the naughty of the naughty. The unforsakable never acknowledged "Bed Dead" phrase. So funny as one day I googled lesbian and this popped up on the browser, as I was searching for relationship blogs and

I only hope that we can grow together again. She is a very affectionate person and I always tend to push her away. I wish I could learn to be as affectionate as she is. But for some reason the attention annoys me.

I'd love to hear some stories and thoughts or advise would even be great.

Have you seen the book The 5 Love Languages? It changed our relationship totally for the better.

I'm also not implying that you have relationship problems....only saying this about the book cause you were looking for relationship blogs.

evie70

We will be 9 years this April, we have issues mostly brought on by me and I'm ready to fix them. I am a true pain in the *kitten* most of the time and am lucky to have such a great loving person in my life. Fact of the matter is I do love and am in love with her. I'll check out that book you recommend. Thanks

emrys1976

My partner and I have been together almost 6 years and I generally want it more than she does. I used to feel frustrated by it but now I'm so tired all the time I don't care as much. I miss the early days for sure, but there are plenty of great things in our relationship to enjoy daily. We've been living 700 miles apart for the past 4 months with only two visits during that time. I am moving up in two weeks so we can get started in our new city - I'm hoping there will be a second honeymoon ;-)

FormerSuperHero

It's a myth, all couples have highs and lows but generally if you have passion it sticks, if life doesn't get in the way. My opinion is not to let life spoil the great moments
Keep the spice if you can