Introvert or extrovert

Regmama

So, I read this article from a Time magazine at my in-laws yesterday (I don't know how many weeks old it is) on the power of introverts. It got me thinking, how many of us in the Debatable Group are introverts off the computer?

Me, I'm a total introvert, completely exhausted after spending time in groups, usually am the wall flower at any party (unless it's a gathering with just one or two other couples or families).

BrettPGH

I'm so much of both it's impossible to tell. You'd assume I was an extrovert. I've been a stand up comic, a radio jock, I have a degree in theater... but I'm also a complete hermit. I hate being at clubs or parties. I often get social anxiety.

This is how I feel. I'm completely comfortable in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. I am not comfortable being IN that crowd.

MikeSEA

I will pass over multiple elevators when coming into work just to avoid having to share one with someone, which might lead to a potentially (short-lived) meaningless conversation that I didn't want to have in the first place. If I haven't had a leg day at the gym, I might even take the stairs.

So yeah.

I'm going to go with big introvert for me.

EDIT: I tend to test as being an INTJ, for what it's worth.

atsteele

I'm more extroverted than introverted. I love to socialize but it depends on the group/crowd. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by too much noise or too crowded. But I love parties and meeting new people.

LuckyLeprechaun

I feel a lot more extroverted if I am in a group setting with my husband. If I am alone, or with other women, I'm much more introverted, and uncomfortable.

I have no problem speaking in public, or in front of a classroom (obv) but the social anxiety of interacting with other women makes me avoid them. Women baffle me all the time. I am often at a loss when I fail to grasp the subtleties of game-playing girlish behavior. My sister has a massive advantage, she was the president of her sorority, so she is way better than I am at interacting with other women.

atsteele

I'm so much of both it's impossible to tell. You'd assume I was an extrovert. I've been a stand up comic, a radio jock, I have a degree in theater... but I'm also a complete hermit. I hate being at clubs or parties. I often get social anxiety.

This is how I feel. I'm completely comfortable in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. I am not comfortable being IN that crowd.

I get this. I used to grab for any opportunity at work to lead meetings or speak in front of a group. I did it just to have that experience because public speaking isn't necessarily easy. So I got myself pretty comfortable in front of a group and even today find it "fun" entertaining people with jokes, etc. But at the same time, I can find it overwhelming being IN the crowd. I really think that I have some issues with being over sensitive to sensory stimulus (eg, lights, too many people, too close, too noisy, too hot).

atsteele

I feel a lot more extroverted if I am in a group setting with my husband. If I am alone, or with other women, I'm much more introverted, and uncomfortable.

I have no problem speaking in public, or in front of a classroom (obv) but the social anxiety of interacting with other women makes me avoid them. Women baffle me all the time. I am often at a loss when I fail to grasp the subtleties of game-playing girlish behavior. My sister has a massive advantage, she was the president of her sorority, so she is way better than I am at interacting with other women.

Could you put me in touch with your sister? I can't figure out the majority of women either. Actually, never mind. I really don't give a darn anymore.

BrettPGH

I get this. I used to grab for any opportunity at work to lead meetings or speak in front of a group. I did it just to have that experience because public speaking isn't necessarily easy. So I got myself pretty comfortable in front of a group and even today find it "fun" entertaining people with jokes, etc. But at the same time, I can find it overwhelming being IN the crowd. I really think that I have some issues with being over sensitive to sensory stimulus (eg, lights, too many people, too close, too noisy, too hot).

That's it exactly.

Actually it wouldn't be such an issue for me if people just had some damn manners! Saturday I was at my gf's house celebrating a birthday with her family. They're all wonderful and I love them dearly. But they don't understand that interrupting is rude and to let someone finish before speaking. So as I'm telling a story they're asking me questions, but not just one of them. 4 of them, all at the same time. Having 4 people all talk at me at once just made me snap. I actually yelled (I never yell).

You got to a movie and people are awful. A concert or sporting event and you'll see some of the worst humanity has to offer. I just can't do crowds.

mikajoanow

I am an introvert with good social skills when I am in groups of people or one on one. I have no problem speaking in public or in large groups and in general having a good time chatting at parties and social get togethers when I actually go out and do these things. But most of the time I feel pretty isolated from the world, and its usually by choice.

I have been thinking of this a lot lately though and I am trying to put myself out there a bit more in the real world because of my son. I feel like I am passing my usual anti social behavior on to him and he really needs a boost in the other direction considering he already has social issues because of his speech disorder. I feel like his experiences with friends are very trying. They correct him all the time, they’re not very patient with him when he is trying to chat with them. Its just difficult. And he seems less and less interested in joining groups or playing with friends. And while I would agree with him, some people really are a pain to be around, some people are awesome. Which is one of the reasons we decided to start UU church after our trip to Disney. I think it will be good for him and good for him to see mom and dad interacting with other adults in a positive way more often.

TheRoadDog

Introvert.

atsteele

I get this. I used to grab for any opportunity at work to lead meetings or speak in front of a group. I did it just to have that experience because public speaking isn't necessarily easy. So I got myself pretty comfortable in front of a group and even today find it "fun" entertaining people with jokes, etc. But at the same time, I can find it overwhelming being IN the crowd. I really think that I have some issues with being over sensitive to sensory stimulus (eg, lights, too many people, too close, too noisy, too hot).

That's it exactly.

Actually it wouldn't be such an issue for me if people just had some damn manners! Saturday I was at my gf's house celebrating a birthday with her family. They're all wonderful and I love them dearly. But they don't understand that interrupting is rude and to let someone finish before speaking. So as I'm telling a story they're asking me questions, but not just one of them. 4 of them, all at the same time. Having 4 people all talk at me at once just made me snap. I actually yelled (I never yell).

You got to a movie and people are awful. A concert or sporting event and you'll see some of the worst humanity has to offer. I just can't do crowds.

You'd never survive my family or my own household. Everyone talks at the same time. And loudly. And our hands are going. And we get louder and louder, the more excited or passionate we are about the topic. Or if alcohol is added... which it usually is. Come to think of it, I kinda flip out (yell) every once in a while... hmmm.... LOL

mommared53

I'm definitely an introvert.

Azdak

I'm so much of both it's impossible to tell. You'd assume I was an extrovert. I've been a stand up comic, a radio jock, I have a degree in theater... but I'm also a complete hermit. I hate being at clubs or parties. I often get social anxiety.

This is how I feel. I'm completely comfortable in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. I am not comfortable being IN that crowd.

The same things were said about Michael Jackson and Prince, for example. I think some people (I would put myself in that group) are more reserved in new or perhaps spontaneous social situations, but are not reserved when they are in a more "structured" type of interaction.

I'm not the type of person to walk into a room of strangers and start engaging people. But I have absolutely no problem speaking in public, running meetings--even with people who far outrank me present, teaching, counseling, etc.

Part of my problem is that I have zero interest in small talk. Half the time when people start talking about the weather or whatever, I either give monosyllabic answers or just ignore the conversation altogether.

I have to work at it all the time, because my job involves a great deal of that type of casual interaction, but it's a struggle.

Azdak

I think I have 20 friends on Facebook--and I'd just as soon get rid of 1/2 of them.

Elizabeth_C34

I'm not sure I fit into the introvert/extrovert categories.

Around people I don't like or are bored with, I am very reserved and quiet, but I can be very outgoing around people I like. My biggest issue is that I really really suck at sugar-coating things or softening my opinions. I come off as harsh if I feel strongly about something.

I'm nasty when I'm mad. I've been known to burn a few bridges and go for the jugular (verbally of course) if someone pisses me off badly enough. Thankfully, it takes a lot to get me that angry, especially as I get older. I'm fiercely loyal and protective of my friends and family, especially the ones who have stuck by me for a long time. My inner circle is very tight.

I almost never get into arguments about religion, politics, or other hot-button issues in person.

castadiva

I'm so much of both it's impossible to tell. You'd assume I was an extrovert. I've been a stand up comic, a radio jock, I have a degree in theater... but I'm also a complete hermit. I hate being at clubs or parties. I often get social anxiety.

This is how I feel. I'm completely comfortable in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. I am not comfortable being IN that crowd.

The same things were said about Michael Jackson and Prince, for example. I think some people (I would put myself in that group) are more reserved in new or perhaps spontaneous social situations, but are not reserved when they are in a more "structured" type of interaction.

I'm not the type of person to walk into a room of strangers and start engaging people. But I have absolutely no problem speaking in public, running meetings--even with people who far outrank me present, teaching, counseling, etc.

Part of my problem is that I have zero interest in small talk. Half the time when people start talking about the weather or whatever, I either give monosyllabic answers or just ignore the conversation altogether.

I have to work at it all the time, because my job involves a great deal of that type of casual interaction, but it's a struggle.

Hearing some very familiar things here. My best friend calls me an introverted extrovert, though I think the reverse is probably just as true.

KimmyEB

I'm not sure I fit into the introvert/extrovert categories.

Around people I don't like or are bored with, I am very reserved and quiet, but I can be very outgoing around people I like. My biggest issue is that I really really suck at sugar-coating things or softening my opinions. I come off as harsh if I feel strongly about something.

I'm nasty when I'm mad. I've been known to burn a few bridges and go for the jugular (verbally of course) if someone pisses me off badly enough. Thankfully, it takes a lot to get me that angry, especially as I get older. I'm fiercely loyal and protective of my friends and family, especially the ones who have stuck by me for a long time. My inner circle is very tight.

I almost never get into arguments about religion, politics, or other hot-button issues in person.

Did you sneak into my brain and type this from your account?? :laugh: I feel EXACTLY the same way.

I'm exactly the same towards people I don't like/I find boring--I'm reserved and quiet, simply because I either have nothing to say, or nothing positive to say. For some reason, a lot of my superiors at work used to assume that I was "nervous"...in fact, whenever the corporate bigwigs would come in (I didn't like any of them), I would switch to the quiet/reserved mode...and apparently the bigwigs noticed, said something to my coworkers and direct supervisor, and they said "oh, she's just nervous around you guys"...which couldn't be farther from the truth. I was quiet because quite frankly, I have no respect for someone who has such blatant disrespect for me, and rather than get fired for opening my big mouth, I'd rather just stay quiet and employed.

I also avoid religion/politics as best I can. Almost every single member of my family disagrees on politics, and most of them disagree with me on every issue out there, so I just drone them out. They know not to get offended if I just get up and leave the discussion. It's really hard when I visit my boyfriend's family...mostly his dad's side. We're on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. There's only been one time when I just felt the need I had to say something. His dad's girlfriend's mom kept saying Muslim's made the Avatar cartoon to brainwash American kids to be their slaves. I had to say something to that. I couldn't let that slide. :laugh:

I've been told numerous times by numerous people that I'm "weird." I'm very carefree, usually talkative, and "physical" in that I will give people hugs, provide a shoulder to cry on, pick people up, help them out in a dressing room, etc. But it really depends on the person. Some people, I get very strange vibes from, and if I can't avoid them, I switch back into that quiet/reserved mode. I also prefer one-on-one, or small group settings...I don't like huge parties of people, even if I know all of the people. I have no problem public speaking, or training people to do something. Like Brett mentioned...I'm a bit of a hermit. I enjoy social interaction, don't get me wrong, but a lot of the times, I prefer to be left alone to do stuff.

I'm a bit of an odd mix.

ojell

With certain people and in certain settings, I'm an extrovert, but most of the time I'm a total introvert...

UponThisRock

Mostly an introvert, but I do open up and let all of this stuff that's floating around in my head out from time to time.

_VoV

On the Myers-Briggs inventory, I am an extreme introvert. But I know that our culture likes extroverted personalities, so I fake it a lot. It always requires I go home to recharge, though.

MassiveDelta

Im and EX... gotta be out.

CasperO

Extroverted arrogant showboat attention *kitten* - with a raging Napoleon complex and a side order of unjustified egomania.

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one.

DieVixen

I feel a lot more extroverted if I am in a group setting with my husband. If I am alone, or with other women, I'm much more introverted, and uncomfortable.

I have no problem speaking in public, or in front of a classroom (obv) but the social anxiety of interacting with other women makes me avoid them. Women baffle me all the time. I am often at a loss when I fail to grasp the subtleties of game-playing girlish behavior. My sister has a massive advantage, she was the president of her sorority, so she is way better than I am at interacting with other women.

Im like this as well. I just dont get most women,and do not relate to them very well.When I am with a group of women I spen a lot of time just nodding and smiling. But if Im with my husband or a group of men im very outgoing.
If you throw booze in the mix all bets are off no matter what group of people im around

BrettPGH

Extroverted arrogant showboat attention *kitten* - with a raging Napoleon complex and a side order of unjustified egomania.

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one.

I wanna go drinking with Casper.

♥Faerie♥

I am an introvert to the extreme, almost to an unhealthy extreme.....

CasperO

Extroverted arrogant showboat attention *kitten* - with a raging Napoleon complex and a side order of unjustified egomania.

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one.

I wanna go drinking with Casper.

You couldn't keep up. (See what I mean?)

MassiveDelta

I am an introvert to the extreme, almost to an unhealthy extreme.....

Its ok Fae...Hang out with more Extroverts... its true you become the average of the 10 people you hang out with the most

LuckyLeprechaun

if this is true, I'm dooooomed

DoingItNow2012

Intovert here!

Here is a list of top 10 myths about intorverts I read awhile back. Love it. If you google it there are a bunch of sites, so don't know who to credit right now. Here is where I just copied it from. http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

CasperO

A woman whom I respect very much, and who is the poster girl for your "Myths", said something brilliant on this subject a while back.

"Extroverts receive energy by being around other people, but Introverts are drained". (As she was having a cubicle wall erected).

LuckyLeprechaun

that list is awesome.

Apparently I am an introvert, to a T!

Thanks for sharing it!