Is "no response" actually a response?

JanieJack
JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
edited November 10 in Social Groups
Piggy-backing from the "break up via text" thread...

A guy friend once told me that when a guy stops contacting you, that IS his way of saying he's no longer interested. You know he's interested when he keeps calling/texting/emailing/asking you out. If he doesn't respond to you, that's a very clear message (he's not into you, or he's only wanting friendship). It may not be "telling you" directly, but it *IS* communication.

What do you guys think about that? true or false?

Replies

  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I would have to agree with this. If I want to talk to someone I like, I'm dying to talk to them. I won't ignore anything!
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Yes, the no talking is a response... a cowardly one but a response nonetheless.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Yes it is. I don't appreciate when that maneuver is pulled on me. I like to know via verbal communication where I stand with someone.
  • godricshollow
    godricshollow Posts: 274 Member
    Yes it is. I don't appreciate when that maneuver is pulled on me. I like to know via verbal communication where I stand with someone.

    Exactly this! I was dating someone for about 3 months and then all of a sudden lost all contact completely. I found out a few weeks later that he decided to start dating his neighbour. I was kind of annoyed about the whole thing. Fair enough if he wasn't interested anymore, but let a person know where you stand, yikes.
  • Piggy-backing from the "break up via text" thread...

    A guy friend once told me that when a guy stops contacting you, that IS his way of saying he's no longer interested. You know he's interested when he keeps calling/texting/emailing/asking you out. If he doesn't respond to you, that's a very clear message (he's not into you, or he's only wanting friendship). It may not be "telling you" directly, but it *IS* communication.

    What do you guys think about that? true or false?


    This is a great post, can the same thing be said for the females? If she stops calling/texting is that her way of saying she's no longer interested?
  • Yes, no response on either party's part constitutes a brush off. It sucks when it happens though :sad:
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    What do you guys think about that? true or false?
    I say true. If I hear nothing I assume a) he's no longer into me or b) dead.
    This is a great post, can the same thing be said for the females? If she stops calling/texting is that her way of saying she's no longer interested?
    I'm sure the same could be said for women, but as a general rule I think a woman would be less likely to just leave someone hanging than a guy would be. Your mileage may vary.
  • I'm sure the same could be said for women, but as a general rule I think a woman would be less likely to just leave someone hanging than a guy would be. Your mileage may vary.

    Oh this is so not true. Most girls I know hate confrontation so they will ignore ignore ignore rather than actually face up to the reality of telling a guy no.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    I'm sure the same could be said for women, but as a general rule I think a woman would be less likely to just leave someone hanging than a guy would be. Your mileage may vary.

    Oh this is so not true. Most girls I know hate confrontation so they will ignore ignore ignore rather than actually face up to the reality of telling a guy no.

    Hey, I learned this from experience AND the book "He's Just Not That Into You"!! :laugh:
  • I'm sure the same could be said for women, but as a general rule I think a woman would be less likely to just leave someone hanging than a guy would be. Your mileage may vary.

    Oh this is so not true. Most girls I know hate confrontation so they will ignore ignore ignore rather than actually face up to the reality of telling a guy no.

    Hey, I learned this from experience AND the book "He's Just Not That Into You"!! :laugh:

    Hahaha oh that book! As much as I hated reading some of it (so freaking embarrassed sometimes), it really did give me some perspective. I saw this quote today on fb. It was about sales, but I think it's pretty good dating advice too!

    "Attract and Engage are better than Chase and Convince." :laugh:
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I'm sure the same could be said for women, but as a general rule I think a woman would be less likely to just leave someone hanging than a guy would be. Your mileage may vary.

    Oh this is so not true. Most girls I know hate confrontation so they will ignore ignore ignore rather than actually face up to the reality of telling a guy no.

    Hey, I learned this from experience AND the book "He's Just Not That Into You"!! :laugh:

    Hahaha oh that book! As much as I hated reading some of it (so freaking embarrassed sometimes), it really did give me some perspective. I saw this quote today on fb. It was about sales, but I think it's pretty good dating advice too!

    "Attract and Engage are better than Chase and Convince." :laugh:


    :sad:

  • :sad:

    You and me both :sad:
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    sure is a response.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    Yes it is. I don't appreciate when that maneuver is pulled on me. I like to know via verbal communication where I stand with someone.

    It definitely is, and I think it's okay if you've just gone out a couple of times, but rude if you've been seeing the person any longer/more than that.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    This is a great post, can the same thing be said for the females? If she stops calling/texting is that her way of saying she's no longer interested?

    I can't speak for all women, but I personally was reared not to chase men, so it's actually hard for me to reach out once in awhile and text a guy (getting better). But if a guy I like calls/text he will get a response. I will not respond to a man if I am no longer interested. I learned that from my guy friends, lol. If he doesn't get the hint, the best thing I can do is free him to move on and find someone who better appreciates him, so I tell him directly. But usually after a few days of no response they disappear (and are soon dating someone else).
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    Sure, it means he's not interested.

    However, I think it's a totally crappy way of going about things. Why not just say "there wasn't a click/spark for me" or something along those lines. Most of us wouldn't turn all crazy on someone for that kind of message. I told a guy this exact thing today. He totally appreciated me being honest with him and I felt good telling the truth rather than letting it drag out and making the poor guy wonder.

    But yes, no response is a response... just a crappy one, lol.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    stone cold harsh truth.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Why not just say "there wasn't a click/spark for me" or something along those lines. ... rather than letting it drag out and making the poor guy wonder.

    Because if you know the code, you're not dragging it out. You're communicating clearly without having to be impolite. Few guys are wondering, and I'm guessing the ones who are will ask. And I think if more girls understood "We had 2 great dates but he hasn't called me in 2 weeks" to mean "He's no longer interested" so they would just move on, we'd have a lot less hurt feelings .

    As an overly honest person, I've discovered that people SAY they want the truth, but most don't REALLY want to hear it. I have girlfriends all the time say, "Why doesn't he just TELL me he's not interested?" and I counter, "he did. He just didn't use words and you refuse to listen."
  • CouchSpud
    CouchSpud Posts: 557 Member
    It's a response and it annoys the **** out of me. If I am not interested anymore, I go and say, hey all nice and such but don't think we are going anywhere. I kind of expect that from others as well.
  • Piggy-backing from the "break up via text" thread...

    A guy friend once told me that when a guy stops contacting you, that IS his way of saying he's no longer interested. You know he's interested when he keeps calling/texting/emailing/asking you out. If he doesn't respond to you, that's a very clear message (he's not into you, or he's only wanting friendship). It may not be "telling you" directly, but it *IS* communication.

    What do you guys think about that? true or false?

    On the opposite side of this, I had a guy that would email/call/text me and NEVER give me adequate time to respond back before he was sending messages saying...."what have I done to hurt your feelings"....or....."ok you dont want anything to do with me, blah, blah, blah".....That drives me CRAZY!!!!
  • cyclingben
    cyclingben Posts: 346 Member
    I have learned though it seems to work both ways. I went out with this girl recently a couple of times and we called and text for a while then i stopped getting responses. Then it was always one word responses and i will chase but im not going to pull teeth. So i basically through it back on her and said if you find time and want to go out again I will be here. I never got a response so im moving on.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    I went on a date with a guy. He was alright - I was going to give him a second date before really deciding. Well, we planned for the second date, then he started getting all weird. It was weird enough that it completely freaked me out and I just stopped responding to him because I wasn't sure how he would react if I told him "never mind, I don't want the second date." That's the only time I can really justify stopping responding altogether.
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