to the guys---do you do this?

Moe4572

So, I am on an online dating site (POF), and have had some success with meeting decent people, just not Mr. Right. Recently, I wrote to a guy that I was interested in and he wrote back saying he would like to talk to me.......and then gave me his phone number and said to call anytime......is that normal? It happened one other time, but was from someone I was totally not interested in, so didn't matter. I wrote back to the guy and said would rather exchange a few emails before the phone, but I wonder if this happens alot?

scapez

Not a guy but I see that trend. Used to be you would exchange a billion emails prior to getting a number or meeting for the first time, now it seems you get a number straight out of the gate!

Personally I would rather email at least a little bit before moving on to texting or talking...mostly because I don't want to give my number out to every single guy that I make contact with...and secondly because I want there to be at least a little spark on my end to drive me to want to talk on the phone with someone new.

Good luck!

Goldenwoof

I do the online dating thing, and have offered my number up early on many times. I'd rather do that than ask a woman for hers simply outta respect for her privacy. I advise all my female friends (and female strangers, in this case) to keep as much of their info private as they can until they have a good reason to feel comfortable and safe with someone.

Some people like emailing for weeks and weeks before meeting, but I prefer to dive right in. Hell, I've actually met women within hours after that initial contact! But I could go either way. If someone wants to go slow, I'll respect that, but honestly, I'd rather get right to it. After all, we're there to actually meet people, right? Not for finding pen pals.

Moe4572

I definitely agree that emailing for weeks and weeks is silly, but first message back with email was just a little too fast. I have to say, the guy was fine with emailing a little first so we will see what happens!

scapez

I do the online dating thing, and have offered my number up early on many times. I'd rather do that than ask a woman for hers simply outta respect for her privacy.

But if I call you...then you have MY number before I'm ready to give it...so essentially it's the same as if you would've asked for it in the first place, no?

After all, we're there to actually meet people, right? Not for finding pen pals.

^ This. I completely agree.

calvert6183

There are not as many girls on dating sites as there are guys so when they see a woman that they are interested in they go for it. Women dont understand this because they get on sites like pof and get messaged by like 20-50 guys a day and guys might get like 1-4 a week. Women assume men get just as many messages too. Thats why guys are pushy to move into a relationship quickly. Im not saying its right or they should do this but its why they do.

DMZ_1

I don't do things the way the OP describes.

If you exchange too many emails, it feels like things are going nowhere. It is better to find out what chemistry you have earlier than later.

Calvert6183 makes great points about the ratio of men to women on dating sites. What he neglected to mention is the quality aspect. The more attractive women get the most volume of messages.

JThomas61

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR more dating site topics. This is worse than TOM topics! :sad:

scapez

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR more dating site topics. This is worse than TOM topics! :sad:

Shush it and come up with some new topics then!

JanieJack

I wasn't on Match.com long, but one thing I discovered is you can really like someone over email, then hear them talk or see them in person and WOW they were NOT who you thought they would be, not compatible at all. So I'm not really fond of prolonged electronic communication.

Showgirlbody

Most the people I talk to from online want phone numbers right away. And then they just want to text, don't even want to talk. lol I like to at least have an instant messaging conversation to see if we have anything to say before moving to the phone but people are impatient. And they send emails that just say "hi" so you have no starting point. I hear from a lot of guys about being deceived by women who don't look like their pictures or misrepresent themself so they don't want to chit chat online forever, they want to get it over with before wasting time. It sucks because I don't want to give out my info right away, especially when we've barely said "hi" and I know nothing about them but if you don't, they just will drop you and move on.
I wish I was getting 20 something messages. I rarely get any and most are way too old or totally not my type. They do tend to only want to message you when you are on the site at that moment so I guess you have to sign in more to be more visible, too. It's still annoying. Really a hit to the self esteem when you see that hardly anyone even "viewed" you. lol Guess I'm not in the 2% and I'm in the wrong age bracket.

calvert6183

I don't do things the way the OP describes.

If you exchange too many emails, it feels like things are going nowhere. It is better to find out what chemistry you have earlier than later.

Calvert6183 makes great points about the ratio of men to women on dating sites. What he neglected to mention is the quality aspect. The more attractive women get the most volume of messages.

Thats true. Its hard to get to know people through emailing. Chemistry is so important and emails cant test out if you two have it. Also you are right about the attractive ones getting most of the volume of messages, its likethrowing bread on the ground at the beach and watching all the Sea Gulls fight for it. Its crazy. Most of my friends that are females are talking to so many guys on there that they get people mixed up and get overwelmed. I think meetup is the best way to meet people and not online dating. Too many people on there lie on their profiles. Nothing beats meeting people in person for the first time. Maybe im old school.

mego07

I just watched "Must Love Dogs" last night for the 20th time (favorite movie) and this topic makes me laugh a bit to myself because it reminds me so much of that movie!

I have been on a few dating sites and it just wasn't for me. I am 22 and maybe still too young to get taken seriously. Most of the guys just want to hook up and I am not looking for just a one night stand. I don't mind getting the phone number pretty quickly. It gets the ball rolling.

SkinnyShadow

All-in-all, I've probably been on a dating site for about 2 & 1/2 weeks. I don't like them.. they kind of creep me out. I always assume the people there are either dogs, or there's something really weird about them lol - wrong to make that kind of judgement, but whatever. When I was on there, at first I wanted to communicate through emails longer than most.. but once I made it up in my mind that I would be willing to go out there and meet someone, I was more interested in talking to them on the phone. You can just hear more of the person - lol - it's true though. Some guys, I thought they were great online, and then on the phone I could tell within the first minute that I wasn't interested. So, if I were on a dating site, and I thought I was interested in you, even slightly, I would probably want to talk on the phone rather than email back and forth. I don't worry about giving out my phone number because it's a cell # that I would give out, and I have an app for blocking texts and numbers... so it makes like easier that way. If it was a home phone number I had to give out, I probably wouldn't be so inclined.
..just my 2 cents

AllanMisner

I also like to move it off the site. For one, they are often blocked at work and not something I want someone in IT to be seeing (yes, many companies monitor the sites you go to). So, I'll usually share my email address and/or phone number. If the guy gives you his number, you can always hide yours when you call him.

If you aren't comfortable moving on from the site, then politely tell him. If he's like me, he may only be able to respond in the mornings and at night. So don't be surprised if you're only getting one or two messages a day (not so easy to carry on a conversation that way) or if he eventually loses interest.

DMZ_1

I don't do things the way the OP describes.

If you exchange too many emails, it feels like things are going nowhere. It is better to find out what chemistry you have earlier than later.

Calvert6183 makes great points about the ratio of men to women on dating sites. What he neglected to mention is the quality aspect. The more attractive women get the most volume of messages.

Thats true. Its hard to get to know people through emailing. Chemistry is so important and emails cant test out if you two have it. Also you are right about the attractive ones getting most of the volume of messages, its likethrowing bread on the ground at the beach and watching all the Sea Gulls fight for it. Its crazy. Most of my friends that are females are talking to so many guys on there that they get people mixed up and get overwelmed. I think meetup is the best way to meet people and not online dating. Too many people on there lie on their profiles. Nothing beats meeting people in person for the first time. Maybe im old school.

There are advantages and disadvantages to Meetup. When you're meeting someone for the first time at some Meetup event, you may not know if they are single and looking. Then again, there are a lot of time wasters online. Overall, you are right in the fact that the in person meet is probably the better way.