Abstinence or just portion control?

hippychickuk

Hi all, just joined this group today! So, ok, I know wine isn't chocolate. Having one glass can so easily lead to another. But I love wine... as I know all of you do. Abstinence was not an option! I have managed over the last two weeks to just have one glass of wine a night, with two on my cheat day. I have even measured to make sure I'm not going over 6oz. I'd say my biggest problem, since my husband doesn't like wine, is opening a bottle and finishing it over 5 days instead of 2. Kinda changes the wine I'm going for.

How about you? abstinence or portion control?

opal24

I WISH I could do portion control. I really, really wish I could - and long term that has to be my goal. But before I can get to that point my only option is abstinence until I've completely absorbed the 'not drinking to excess' mentality. I so envy you!

hippychickuk

Opal, I envy you as well! I should just stop drinking! I should have added to the above,"What are your tips and tricks for success, whichever method you go with?"

For me, I make sure I don't even reach for the wine until the food (dinner) is in front of me. NO pre-dinner drinks! and once the food is gone, no refills! A single 6oz glass is just fine for going with food. Sometimes, I'll try to save a little sip to go with my (low cal!) dessert. Another helpful thing was to measure what 6oz looks like. My wine glasses are quite big! so I had to know I wasn't over-doing. I think what I really should do is go out and find some really small wine glasses tho.

Finally, I really love wine-tasting, not just wine-drinking. So I make a game of really enjoying the wine that is in my glass (mmm... tastes like apple!). I have water with my dinner as well. If I'm thirsty, I drink that. The wine has to be something I really want to taste, just like I really want to taste my food.

ikanholm

Hi there,

I am an alcohol lover...not just wine but all!! I'm 24 and just can't imagine a life of total abstinence...but I definitely need to drink less. I think it's one of my biggest obstacles in terms of gaining weight. Any advice for resisting the second glass??

Change_Agent

Hey there. Welcome to the group! I think so far the things that have worked best for me are drinking a glass of water and just trying to remind myself how crappy I will feel ultimately if I slide down that slippery slope. But it's hard - no question. I'm thinking maybe getting up and walking around a bit after the first glass (even if it's just excusing myself to go to the bathroom when out, etc.) might help. I am going to try to start that one. Let me know if anything starts working for you!

vacherin

Hello

I actually think you need stronger willpower to do portion control than to abstain completely - yes, really. In fact, I am living proof of this! I have tried portion control many times, and it really hasn't worked - one taste of alcohol makes me want more, and of course there are the knock-on effects of drinking too much (empty calories, poor food choices made when you're drunk, hangover, hangover food needed the next day, hair of the dog, too wrecked to exercise etc.). Obviously it depends on what sort of a personality you are and whether a small taste every now and again would stop you feeling deprived, or make you want more ... but I can't drink in moderation at all.

I have now done 114 days without drinking (never thought I would be able to do it, but I have) and I am finally starting to feel the benefits. It doesn't happen straight away, but it does happen!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

xxx

opal24

I agree with Vacherin. I think it's much easier just to stop completely and I too am living proof of that. I follow the same pattern of trying, then having the one glass and just wanting more. It does depress me though to think that I'll always be that way. I'd love to be able to have the occasional glass of wine and be happy with it. Vacherin - we're at exactly the same point in our abstinence and I'm curious - what do you plan to do once your birthday comes around? (I think I remember you saying that getting to your birthday was your goal.)

I still don't know how I'll feel when 1 January 2013 arrives.

dbanks80

Personally for me it has to abstinence. When I start I can't stop. I can drink an entire bottle in one night and it shows on the scales! So I have to stop altogether!

vacherin

I'm actually thinking of carrying on until I reach my goal weight, whenever that may be. It's looking likely that it will be after my birthday, and unbelievably the thought doesn't fill me with horror like it used to. My weight loss has really slowed lately, due to injuries rendering me unable to exercise and also some mega crisp scoffing sessions that I have had (oops), so it seems silly to restart on the drinking before I have got to my goal. The thought of drinking again terrifies me for the reasons you (Opal) said - wishing you could enjoy just a glass or two and leave it at that, and wondering whether you would always be this way! But I have this awful feeling that if I re-start drinking before I get to my goal, then I will NEVER get to my goal ...

Change_Agent

Good luck with this goal. I think it's great. I cannot seem to settle on one method or another (which may speak to abstinence being the easier in my case). I have regained some of the weight I lost earlier this spring and I am sure it is due to resumed drinking of wine. Sigh.....

ladylemoncurd

Hi, I love drinking far too much so great to see this group!

FatAssBecky

I think it's a mixture of both of me. I am more the beer person - one or two a night - but every night and that equals up to over 2100 calories a week (if I'm drinking the good stuff). On the flip side, I never eat dessert - so I can think of it as my dessert .

Some days I have no desire to drink, other days, I want one or two. I have learned to just give into having one beer so I'm not constantly thinking about it. I also have been buying Bud light vs Harpoon (110 cal. vs. 170 cal.) which kind of sucks, but is working for me.

trouble4503

I am the SAME way, its hard to stop but its also hard not to enjoy life, its a personal struggle. I wish i could drink and slim down at the same time, just not possible!

RoseAsRose

I can really relate to the love of the drink. I have gained 50 pounds post law school and I think alcohol has a tremendous role in that. I recently started learning about how our body metabolizes alcohol and was surprised to discover that not only does alcohol have a ton of extra calories (duh - we all know that), but because our body looks at alcohol as a poison we cannot absorb nutrients from it (and really - it doesnt have any useful nutrients). Moreover, for every 1 drink we have it takes 8 HOURS for our body to get it out of our system. During that time, our body cannot metabolize whatever food we eat and so it gets stored in our system (and basically will become fat). My personal trainer explained that if you have only 3 drinks on a friday night, that means for the next 24 hours, you body is not able to metabolize the food you eat - terrible b/c in the past 1) I often would have way more than 3 drinks and 2) the food i want when i'm hungover is greasy friend potatoes, cheese, etc.

This is making me feel like i really should only drink on rare occasions and when I do, really limit it to 1 or 2.

The hard part is that when i have one glass of wine or vodka soda, or some other supposedly lower-calorie drink, I get triggered to want more and more and more. I actually decided to set up an appointment with a neuropharmacologist who studies the effect of alcohol on the brain. He explained to me (and I verified in academic literature) that recent studies have found that those of us who are genetically pre-disposed to alcoholism actually process alcohol differently than most people. He explained that a normal drinker will have a drink or two, get tired and kind of self limit. For those of us prone to heavy drinking, alcohol actually sends transmitters to the dopamine center of our brain (the pleasure center) and dopamine is released - this creates a feeling of euphoria and biology has conditioned us to repeat whatever behavior lead to the good feeling - hence, a compulsion towards more drinking. In addition, endorphins can be released - which TOTALLY explains why after a few drinks I am ready to party it up around town all night, when my friends are ready to sleep. Luckily, there are some options for stopping the dopamine from being released.

I'm still doing more research on the alcohol metabolism thing to verify what my trainer said, but these sites seems to have some good info:
http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/fitness/weight-loss/how-alcohol-affects-metabolism.html#b
http://www.medicinenet.com/alcohol_and_nutrition/page2.htm

If you are interested in learning more about the effects of alcohol on the brain, etc, you can find info here:
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/AA72/AA72.htm

and some options for managing addiction tendencies:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21454917

http://RethinkingDrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/

sheen8r

Just joined the group, and Rose's info was surprising and SCARY. I'm hoping to seriously curtail my drinking habits, specifically wine, so cheers to more water and less hangovers.

ali0809

I tried complete abstinence but quickly realised all it did was make me 1. want it more, and 2. binge when I did have a weak moment. I have now allowed myself one or two glasses a week. Instead of buying a full bottle that I can easily drain in one night, I only buy a little one that has about 1 large glass in it...then if I want more, then tough! lol.

litak85472

I also just joined this group today! I love to drink too. I know I cannot stop completely, but it has definitely gotten in the way of my weightloss journey. I've limited myself to weekends only, and when I do have a drink I try to sip on it and make it last. It's really hard when your friends and family have a similar lifestyle so it's hard to get a way from... Any advice????

crittergirl222

Great group, great advice. I have stopped for 30 days in the past (you know-just to make sure this social drinker wasn't losing control). The thing is, I like to relax, giggle, forget life's stressors and hang out with husband, friends etc. I think I am going to try just a one day a week "free day" (like others do with with food), but being mindful of healthy food choices during this mini vacation. Nothing blackout, just a day to let my hair down.

Any thoughts?

WestCoastWild

I tried that, but it always lead to more wine than I planned or more snacks than I planned Ive switched to once/month so holidays aren't out of the question. Its going well so far, and I think Ill stick with it at least thru the end of the year, probably well into next year. Once Im close to my goal weight, though, I might try introducing it slowly back in so I can manage a balanced eating/drinking social life while maintaining a healthy weight. For now, though, Im feeling much too puffy to keep on bulldozing my calorie goals with delicious craft beers and wine with dinner. If you think it will work for you, though, then sounds like a good plan!

jes2466

Also just joined this group. First time poster. I live a very healthy life, other than this alcohol thing. I juice, flax smoothies, quinoa, kale, blah blah blah...but I really struggle with the thought stopping all together. It's just so scary. I waitress and it's pretty much part of my shift. I try to bring tea to substitute it, but I'm usually so exhausted, I'm like forget that, I need a glass of wine. My after work glass (and a half) is more of a habit than anything. I try not to have two because I know that I'll get home and have a third. I'll end up watching late night tv and feel like crap in the morning. Then like clockwork I'll find myself in the McDonald's parking lot housing a sausage egg mcmuffin meal with a diet coke and an extra packet of salt instead of making it to a yoga class. Then the weekend comes and it's Sunday funday. It's either a home Jets game, a wedding, a bbq which with our family and friends is all about good food, good wine and good beer. I truly enjoy it...until Monday, when I'm swearing to myself to stop this cycle. Don't drink Monday, but it's a calzone, carb and salt fest. Feel better by Wednesday, Repeat.
Now that I'm 47 and have put on 30 lbs with this lovely menopause, my body just can't process toxins the way it use to. I know this is the part of the equation that needs to be changed to make the difference in my life. I think my problem is I'm simply going to miss it. But I'm at that pivotal moment where if I don't change something now, its going downhill fast. I'm 5'7. 168 lbs. I was a very fit 140 3 years ago. Now not so much. I guess it just come down to what I want more and figuring out a way to do it. Figuring out a way to stick to just one, or none. They're both hard.

calmandpeaceful

Hi all,
Glad I found this group. I am a 53 year old mom of four daughters, and I love my evening wine - and tend to overdo it when stress hits. The last 3 years I have been under inordinate stress with two of my kids (ADHD, enormous school problems, psychiatric issues with them which are now under control, etc...) and illnesses (cancer) and deaths of close family members. I know what I need to do - yoga, meditate, continue to exercise. I do go to a therapist to help process this stress, and that is good. One of my goals is to meditate 4 times a week to help with this. Not sure what my answer is in terms of abstinence vs. moderation, but I'm grateful to have a place to figure it out.
Thanks.