Guys Don't Believe Her

JanieJack

Ok gang... why is this? A single friend of mine in DC was venting to me about how she is tired of men not believing her when she says she doesn't want to have kids. She is 42, has never been married, and is about to roll from a high-travel military job into a high-travel civilian job. I've known her for years. She REALLY doesn't want kids.

I thought that would be a great selling point for her, since so much of her competition is stressing about the biological clock. But nope! She told me that yet another guy just said he doesn't believe her when she claims she doesn't want kids. Apparently, these guys think she must only be saying that to snag them. Huh??

natalie2355

i'm 27 and have never wanted kids. I've had guys break up with me or flat out NOT date me because of it. i'm just not a kid person *shrug*

christine24t

So many people have said that they don't want kids and then they change their mind, so when people say that, people usually doubt it. Plus, most people think that every woman wants children, even if they say they don't.

JanieJack

i'm 27 and have never wanted kids. I've had guys break up with me or flat out NOT date me because of it.

I feel ya on this one... things didn't work out with two great guys because they insisted they wanted their own blood kids. I'm still capable of giving birth, lol, but have absolutely no desire.

What I don't get for her is, these guys aren't telling her they want kids. They're saying they don't want kids, and they don't believe her. Like tchristine said, they think she's gonna change her mind after she hooks them.

AllanMisner

I believe her.

Tell her to focus on men who have older children (late teens, early 20's). Eventually, they'll see her lifestyle and understand.

Z_I_L_L_A

Say its not so, could it be, men really like being a dad? No.....can't be.

flimflamfloz

So many people have said that they don't want kids and then they change their mind, so when people say that, people usually doubt it. Plus, most people think that every woman wants children, even if they say they don't.

This is true.

At 42 the biological clock is ticking hard too, so most men must think she is on a mission...

Just thinking though that the guy she saw might have wanted kids (even though he said the contrary), otherwise the girl can never get it right:
- "I want kids", guy runs away
- "I don't want kids", guy thinks she lied and runs away
- "Look! A plane!", guy thinks she wants kids and runs away :drinker:

DMZ_1

Her bigger problem is a high travel job. With high travel jobs, there's not enough time to have a meaningful relationship.

I would believe that a 42 year old woman without kids saying she doesn't want kids. It is pretty difficult to naturally conceive at 42 anyway, so I don't see what the big deal is anyway.

JanieJack

Her bigger problem is a high travel job.

haha, I hear you. I moved into a high travel job about 8 months ago, and while I would like to be in a "relationship," pursuing one is really not at top of my priority list right now.

jadedone

Ok gang... why is this? A single friend of mine in DC was venting to me about how she is tired of men not believing her when she says she doesn't want to have kids. She is 42, has never been married, and is about to roll from a high-travel military job into a high-travel civilian job. I've known her for years. She REALLY doesn't want kids.

I thought that would be a great selling point for her, since so much of her competition is stressing about the biological clock. But nope! She told me that yet another guy just said he doesn't believe her when she claims she doesn't want kids. Apparently, these guys think she must only be saying that to snag them. Huh??

That's crazy. Besides, we all know it is much harder for a 40+ to even have a kid.......

JanieJack

Say its not so, could it be, men really like being a dad? No.....can't be.

What?? These actually exist?? Thus says the woman who's kid hasn't spoken to his father in 3 months, despite her efforts to get them talking.

JanieJack

Tell her to focus on men who have older children (late teens, early 20's). Eventually, they'll see her lifestyle and understand.

When I read, "Tell her to focus on men who have older children...," I thought it was going to be because they're getting used to the "grown kids" lifestyle and won't be interested in starting over, lol.

Z_I_L_L_A

Say its not so, could it be, men really like being a dad? No.....can't be.

What?? These actually exist?? Thus says the woman who's kid hasn't spoken to his father in 3 months, despite her efforts to get them talking.

My X has nothing to do with my daughter so its not just the men. They haven't had a relationship for 10 years.

AllanMisner

Tell her to focus on men who have older children (late teens, early 20's). Eventually, they'll see her lifestyle and understand.

When I read, "Tell her to focus on men who have older children...," I thought it was going to be because they're getting used to the "grown kids" lifestyle and won't be interested in starting over, lol.

True. Men with grown children are approaching the age when those children will have grand children. They'll be a good substitute for having a restart on the babies.

Tropical_Turtle

Shoot I am dating a guy who has a kid, and told him to be honest, I dont care if I do or dont have kids. I will be 40 this year and he is ok with that. Whatever happens happens. It just takes finding the right guy - which is NOT easy. Have to kiss a lot of frogs to get there

AnnaPixie

If she fell pregnant then the guy could/would do a runner anyway! I dont really see why its a deal breaker. ANY girl a guy has sex with could get pregnant, wether she WANTED to or not!! I kinda think a guy that makes such a rash judgement, calling a woman a liar, is an idiot! So she is better to stay clear of such douches! :laugh: