Rant About Fish and Ex Husbands

Vegan_Chick

Ok, so my ex and I have been long time best friends for about 10 years now. We both became vegetarian together 7 years ago. I decided to go vegan 6 years ago and he stayed veggie which is fine. Anyway, our daughter we have together is 13 and she has made her own choice to be vegetarian (7 years) which is fine with me.

Last weekend my *sshole ex husband decides he is going to start eating fish and tried to push it on our daughter. She said no and I am so proud of her for standing up to her very influencial father! It just pisses me off that he tried to get her to eat it in the first place. Would you ask me, a 6 year vegan, if I want some fish? Probably not. I would think that was rude especially if you are close to me.

Anyone have something like this going on?

I have many friends who's "ex's" do not agree with veganism/vegetarianism and their kids are vegan at their house, not vegan at their ex's house. I have to say that I have been blessed by not dealing with this as my ex, until now, has been very respectful and understanding about the whole meat thing.

darkling_glory

Hmm... I guess it would depend on how he presented it to her.

If he said, "Honey, I'm going to make some fish for dinner, would you like some?" I probably wouldn't be that upset. It's his choice to go back to fish and maybe he thought your daughter would want to try it or something.

However, if he was more forceful about it or threatening about it - "You'll eat this fish or no dinner!" I would definitely be pissed!

I'd have a talk with your daughter about decisions either way. That you love her and that you would not be mad at her if she did decide to eat fish but that you are so proud of her for standing up for something she feels strongly about.

That's all you can do. Good luck!

Vegan_Chick

I'm not sure how he presented it. I feel like he did just to spite me but I am not sure. I have definately told my daughter I am proud of her for standing up to him!

GoodMorningGirl

First of all, I love your topic title.

I have to deal with that with my ex and our children too, although they are younger (8 and 6). I am strictly vegan and 90% of what I make for them is vegan, with a few vegetarian things now and then that they really like (such as Kashi cookies). When they visit their dad twice a week, they almost always have dairy products, chicken, and sometimes pork or fish.

As my kids get older, I feel it's their responsibility to decide what they want to eat or not eat. I don't make them feel guilty if we go to a restaurant and they order meat because I feel that what to eat is a personal decision. However, they know how I feel about being vegan for health, ethical, and environmental reasons. My older son said he no longer wants to eat beef, and my ex has so far respected that.

I would suggest your daughter makes clear to her dad what kind of diet she would like to follow rather than having you step in. I think he would be more receptive to hearing it from her, especially if there's even a chance that he served her fish to spite you. Good luck!