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Help... I don't want to hurt my friends feelings!!
ejoy319
Posts: 104
I would like to get some opinions....... I have been going through a divorce for about 8 months that will be final soon... I have had some rough relationships in the past and am really trying to focus on myself and my kids right now. I have a friend at work that I have known for the past 4 years while I was married that has been calling a lot more now that I am single and wants to hang out more frequently. I enjoy spending time with him, but I am not at all romantically interested in him. When we are around each other outside of work it is always in casual settings... he comes to my house and hangs out with the kids and I... we have gone out with other friends to events and we go separately.
He had some health issues that required him to be in the hospital for a short time, so I went and spent time with him there to give him support... he doesn't have much family that he is close to, since then he calls and texts multiple times a day. I don't mind that, I just don't want to give him the idea that our relationship is more than friends.
He is also the kind of guy that wants to make sure everyone is taken care of... so I don't want to read too much into things. He wants his friends to be happy and goes out of his way to make this happen... I have seen him do this with many of his friends in the past. This is a little difficult for me because I am so used to having to take care of myself that I put a guard up when someone tries to do something for me.
This person is a great friend and has been... what do I say to him?? Or am I reading too much into things and just need to chill out??
He had some health issues that required him to be in the hospital for a short time, so I went and spent time with him there to give him support... he doesn't have much family that he is close to, since then he calls and texts multiple times a day. I don't mind that, I just don't want to give him the idea that our relationship is more than friends.
He is also the kind of guy that wants to make sure everyone is taken care of... so I don't want to read too much into things. He wants his friends to be happy and goes out of his way to make this happen... I have seen him do this with many of his friends in the past. This is a little difficult for me because I am so used to having to take care of myself that I put a guard up when someone tries to do something for me.
This person is a great friend and has been... what do I say to him?? Or am I reading too much into things and just need to chill out??
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If it were just you, I might leave it as is. But since you have kids who see him often, you might want to be clear with him about your intentions just so there aren't any surprises or confusion down the road.0
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First, chill out.
Second, make sure you use the right words. Use the "F" word frequently (yes, Friend). Reward his favors and the time together with a thank you that includes the word Friend. He'll realize where he stands and will act accordingly.0 -
Good advice!Second, make sure you use the right words. Use the "F" word frequently (yes, Friend). Reward his favors and the time together with a thank you that includes the word Friend. He'll realize where he stands and will act accordingly.0 -
Thanks guys... I appreciate the advice!!0
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Good advice!Second, make sure you use the right words. Use the "F" word frequently (yes, Friend). Reward his favors and the time together with a thank you that includes the word Friend. He'll realize where he stands and will act accordingly.
^^this. I think if you say "you're such a good friend" and even say things like "I like being single" or "It'll be a while before I want another relationship" and just confide in him about friend things, he won't get the wrong end of the stick.
Good luck :flowerforyou:0
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