Breakfast date?
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Moe4572
Posts: 1,428 Member
Just asking................does it mean anything if a guy chooses to meet you for breakfast?
This did happen.....but not a date--a friend who is a guy, but not available-and just thought it was kind of odd that he chose to meet for breakfast--is kind of meeting as he is doing some artwork for me.
Anyway, got me thinking..........
This did happen.....but not a date--a friend who is a guy, but not available-and just thought it was kind of odd that he chose to meet for breakfast--is kind of meeting as he is doing some artwork for me.
Anyway, got me thinking..........
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I would call that a "testing the waters" date .. lol. That way you can see if you have chemistry and not have to spend alot of time or money on a person.0
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if it's a business meeting treat it as such. you don't want to go with expectations and be disappointed.0
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if it's a business meeting treat it as such. you don't want to go with expectations and be disappointed.
No expectations with this one, just curious for any others that come along.........
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I think that breakfast sounds like the same level of committment as meeting for coffee. I kind of like the idea since it seems much more relaxed.0
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NO!
Breakfast or lunch are not dates that I'd accept. One a woman tried to counter offer a date request of mine with a weekday lunch, I politely declined. Why? I knew she would not be in the right frame of mind during the date. I try to put myself in the best situations to succeed.
There are some daytime dates that work (like a long walk in a pretty park, a beach, maybe playing a sport together), but breakfast and lunch are no go's. Coffee dates aren't the greatest either, but at least they are lower cost than breakfast or lunch.0 -
NO ...breakfast and lunch are no go's
awwwww snap! I love breakfast and lunch dates... my son is already in school/childcare and I can be relaxed to get to know the guy in a more casual setting without checking my phone every 10 minutes to see if the sitter called!
Especially if I DON'T know the guy (as in online, or a friend's suggestion) because then I "gotta get back to work" at some point, and it's not so awkward.
Yet again I'm seeing that things I think are great ideas aren't so great to the guy involved.0 -
Part of me thinks a breakfast date is cute, and the other part of me thinks that it is a safe date option so the person can still have their night open. It would really depend on the situation for me. First date, no. But if it's one of several dates I think its cute!0
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TChristine-I could see a breakfast date working later on, maybe after the first 5 dates. But breakfast/lunch that early on doesn't build the romance. Romance is more likely to blossom in the evening. Maybe that is a cultural construct of Western societies.
Wiggins-Sitter issues and kid issues are very difficult for single men without kids to deal with. Very few single men without kids are going to be understanding of that. It is so funny to me how kids change all sorts of relationships. Some of my friends who have kids now, the dynamic of our friendship has changed so much since they had kids, and I don't perceive that the change has been for the positive.0 -
TChristine-I could see a breakfast date working later on, maybe after the first 5 dates. But breakfast/lunch that early on doesn't build the romance. Romance is more likely to blossom in the evening. Maybe that is a cultural construct of Western societies.
Yeah I kind of see your point with that actually!!0 -
TChristine-I could see a breakfast date working later on, maybe after the first 5 dates. But breakfast/lunch that early on doesn't build the romance. Romance is more likely to blossom in the evening. Maybe that is a cultural construct of Western societies.
Yeah I kind of see your point with that actually!!
Yes, thank you Christine! Isn't the whole point of dating to build the romance?0 -
A breakfast date could be a great thing (if it is an extension of the date the night before). I kid.
If this is a business meeting, then it isn't a date. It is a meeting.0 -
I don't know, there's 3 excellent breakfast places in my town that I love to go to. I've never taken a date there, but they're my favorite places to take friends in town visiting. It's such a great atmosphere to talk and get to know someone, much better than a fancy dinner in my opinion. I'd rather get to know someone on a first date than to worry about if the place I chose is good for building romance. I could easily see myself asking someone out on a breakfast date, with no hidden meaning other than it's a good place to talk.0
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You're right about that... haha.. that's part of why I like the lunch date especially because a) I wanna get to know someone without all the drama and distraction of evening romance and b) I absolutely *have* to be back when everyone else is, so I always set my "back to work" alarm early, and I'm usually GLAD when it goes off lol!!!But breakfast/lunch that early on doesn't build the romance.Wiggins-Sitter issues and kid issues are very difficult for single men without kids to deal with...Some of my friends who have kids now, the dynamic of our friendship has changed so much since they had kids, and I don't perceive that the change has been for the positive.
Yeah, I don't generally go after guys who've got no kids/never been married. They just don't get my life. And I don't fault them for it (I didn't understand before having kids either).
I do want to point out something about your other comment, though: I feel that people whose relationships deteriorate when they have kids have these problems because *they* allow it to deteriorate. They allow themselves to focus on the kids rather than each other. They allow themselves to grow apart. It's tough when a child is young, because a young child represents a significant drain on the family, but it can be done. One couple I sat for in high school paid me to watch their baby girl every Friday night. They refused to sacrifice their date night. And my mom always taught us was that, beyond taking care of our basic needs and teaching us what was needed to succeed as an adult, the husband-wife relationship came first. There were times, as a kid, I resented that but looking back at my mom in her 60s sharing a vibrant love life withe the man of her dreams for the last 20+ years, I see the wisdom of her words.
Ok... sorry for the threadjack... back to the breakfast discussion... I really like breakfast/lunch dates, but I will keep in mind the signal that sends for when I'm ready to seriously start looking.0 -
Get drunk, black out, wake up with girl in bed.
"Morning! What's your name?". Then, move on to breakfast date.
Apart from that I agree with DM1983Z... Wouldn't be too keen on it.
I'm probably more talking about first dates, but I'm honestly wondering if the fact that you chose less-than-ideal date environments does not play its part in the fact that you are glad when the alarm goes off.
You're right about that... haha.. that's part of why I like the lunch date especially because a) I wanna get to know someone without all the drama and distraction of evening romance and b) I absolutely *have* to be back when everyone else is, so I always set my "back to work" alarm early, and I'm usually GLAD when it goes off lol!!!But breakfast/lunch that early on doesn't build the romance.
In other words, in the wrong context you are preoccupied, time-constrained, stressed, eating, rushing, etc.
I'm not sure this is the best way for the date to escalate (towards what anyway? towards each of you going back to work...), for the mood to get "sexual" (your mind is still technically at work), or for the chemistry to build in general.
And IMHO you can't just hope that things are going to happen if they are meant to happen, environment/mood play such a big role!0 -
I'd find a breakfast date rather strange. Even coffee I dont like the idea of. But that's because I'm a night person and I would prefer to be relaxed, have a drink and enjoy a date as a meeting of 2 human beings on a night out, rather than a quick look up and down and no thanks! Which is basically what a coffee or breakfast date is!
I have met someone for a daytime drink, walk along a river type thing though, and that was nice, but again it was relaxed and a nice day out, not a half an hour thing :bigsmile:0 -
If you are looking to meet someone then don`t make it an obstacle course of do`s and don`ts.
It seems a lot of over thinking goes on.
Maybe a breakfast date is not on the list of romantic things that are supposed to happen but so what.
It is still a get together and if two people are meant to click they will,maybe even more solidly then if the date is a scripted event.
Think about it for a second,do you want to be with someone that has the mindset "He/she wants to meet for breakfast,I don`t like them...He/she wants to go to a fancy restaurant
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I'm honestly wondering if the fact that you chose less-than-ideal date environments does not play its part in the fact that you are glad when the alarm goes off.
In other words, in the wrong context you are preoccupied, time-constrained, stressed, eating, rushing, etc.
No, it's not that. I rely on my lunch break as the get-away from a high ops-tempo job, and make every effort not to take work concerns/'stress into my lunch.
I started doing the lunch thing because I was meeting so many losers online, spending lots of time money (including sitters) and effort only to be angry later when he tries to stick his tongue down my throat after knowing me all of 10 minutes. Or he shows up after saying he's 45, but he's really 63 (I'm 36). Or he outlines our timeline for getting married in 6 months and having his kid (uh? what? did you know guys do this too.... yes they do!). Or whatever.
I'm much more confident now, but back then I had a hard time telling someone after an hour, "look,this just isn't going to work." Lunch dates ended it quickly so I could escape without "hurting his feelings." These days I'm not so worried about hurting someone's feelings, but from a logistics standpoint, I still prefer lunches. Like that commercial says, "It's just lunch, no pressure."0 -
I'm not sure this is the best way for the date to escalate (towards what anyway? towards each of you going back to work...), for the mood to get "sexual"
Exactly. I don't know about the other ladies on this board, but a nice romantic evening out distracts me from being able to catch red flags that could signal relationship problems and shifts my focus totally to the romance/sexual element. I, personally, want to get to know someone a little bit first, and I find that more casual outings make it easier to do that.
Granted, I'm still single so I can't claim my approach is "the best way", lol, cuz it's not! But out of all the guys I went out with in the last 3 years, I'm still friends with the few of them who made it past a second date... because they're good guys.0 -
All fair points and your strategy completely makes sense then... I didn't get the problem yet with women so far.. luckily. Not that I'm an expert with online dating, far from it!I started doing the lunch thing because I was meeting so many losers online, spending lots of time money (including sitters) and effort only to be angry later when he tries to stick his tongue down my throat after knowing me all of 10 minutes. Or he shows up after saying he's 45, but he's really 63 (I'm 36). Or he outlines our timeline for getting married in 6 months and having his kid (uh? what? did you know guys do this too.... yes they do!). Or whatever.0 -
When I first saw this I was assuming a nice breakfast or brunch on a weekend. Relaxed, but not rushed, with good food and (hopefully) easy conversation - similar to the lunch dates that several people mentioned. But for those of you that said 'no way', if you've been emailing/ texting/ talking on the phone and had a serious interest in the person, would you really say no to breakfast as a first date? I'm clarifying because it seems to me that it's mostly the men said no automatically. I would think it would be the other way around. So a question for the men, does it turn you off if a woman makes a suggestion other than a "typical" dinner date? Same with getting coffee, lunch or meeting for a walk? I don't want to suggest a low key date (because that's my personal preference) and find that that one act is immediately turning someone off due to cultural ideals or something.0
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The problem I see with breakfast date is that it will be harder to go past that tipping point where the "date" (when you evaluate each other) becomes "very beginning of a relationship" (when you have accepted the other one as a potential partner).When I first saw this I was assuming a nice breakfast or brunch on a weekend. Relaxed, but not rushed, with good food and (hopefully) easy conversation - similar to the lunch dates that several people mentioned. But for those of you that said 'no way', if you've been emailing/ texting/ talking on the phone and had a serious interest in the person, would you really say no to breakfast as a first date? I'm clarifying because it seems to me that it's mostly the men said no automatically. I would think it would be the other way around. So a question for the men, does it turn you off if a woman makes a suggestion other than a "typical" dinner date? Same with getting coffee, lunch or meeting for a walk? I don't want to suggest a low key date (because that's my personal preference) and find that that one act is immediately turning someone off due to cultural ideals or something.
I think with a breakfast date, it is harder to escalate the date mood to "sexual" (and by sexual, I don't mean "have sex at the end of the date" - although it could happen - but I mean generate enough "sexual" attraction from the girl so that she sees you as a potential partner, which is a part of what people call "chemistry").
To me, dating is not just about having a nice conversation (otherwise, you could be attracted just by talking to the other person by email, but even though we can be attracted to someone else this way, we all know it's not enough). You still need to see each other in person.
Let's put it this way, I wouldn't say an absolute NO to the girl for a breakfast date IF and only IF it was the only time I could see her (and she seemed interesting enough). But then, if she is that hard to see, one can wonder if she is worth dating in the first place (since you'll never get to see her).
I want to give myself the best chances to succeed in the date, and in my perception breakfast date is starting with a disadvantage.
However, for any other date than the first date, breakfast date would be fine to me.
But going past the first date while imprinting the idea in the woman's mind that you are an interesting person and a potential sexual partner is 90% of the work for a second date.
I think you would miss on the "potential sexual partner" bit with a breakfast date, as it would seem unnatural to (as said earlier) attempt to escalate the mood of the date to sexual for breakfast.
It's not a question of being turned off or not, it's a question of playing your best cards to achieve your goal.
Same as you don't go to a job interview dressed in a kangaroo costume (why make things harder than they already are?). I would also avoid lunch job interviews actually (same reason: does not help achieving my goal and showing the best of me, taking extra risks that are not worth it - better to attempt to reschedule if possible).
Makes sense?0 -
Flamfloz got most of the key points in there. The kangaroo costume analogy was really entertaining. The only place where I'd differ is that I wouldn't do a breakfast date until around the 4th date or later.
When a date has "good tension", that is the formation of chemistry and the deepening of attraction.
I usually schedule early round dates in the evening. First dates will never get a prime scheduling space (Fri or Sat night). The earliest I can remember doing a daytime date is 3 PM. The times I have done 3 PM dates have been on weekends and they involved scenic walks.0 -
The problem I see with breakfast date is that it will be harder to go past that tipping point where the "date" (when you evaluate each other) becomes "very beginning of a relationship" (when you have accepted the other one as a potential partner).When I first saw this I was assuming a nice breakfast or brunch on a weekend. Relaxed, but not rushed, with good food and (hopefully) easy conversation - similar to the lunch dates that several people mentioned. But for those of you that said 'no way', if you've been emailing/ texting/ talking on the phone and had a serious interest in the person, would you really say no to breakfast as a first date? I'm clarifying because it seems to me that it's mostly the men said no automatically. I would think it would be the other way around. So a question for the men, does it turn you off if a woman makes a suggestion other than a "typical" dinner date? Same with getting coffee, lunch or meeting for a walk? I don't want to suggest a low key date (because that's my personal preference) and find that that one act is immediately turning someone off due to cultural ideals or something.
I think with a breakfast date, it is harder to escalate the date mood to "sexual" (and by sexual, I don't mean "have sex at the end of the date" - although it could happen - but I mean generate enough "sexual" attraction from the girl so that she sees you as a potential partner, which is a part of what people call "chemistry").
To me, dating is not just about having a nice conversation (otherwise, you could be attracted just by talking to the other person by email, but even though we can be attracted to someone else this way, we all know it's not enough). You still need to see each other in person.
Let's put it this way, I wouldn't say an absolute NO to the girl for a breakfast date IF and only IF it was the only time I could see her (and she seemed interesting enough). But then, if she is that hard to see, one can wonder if she is worth dating in the first place (since you'll never get to see her).
I want to give myself the best chances to succeed in the date, and in my perception breakfast date is starting with a disadvantage.
However, for any other date than the first date, breakfast date would be fine to me.
But going past the first date while imprinting the idea in the woman's mind that you are an interesting person and a potential sexual partner is 90% of the work for a second date.
I think you would miss on the "potential sexual partner" bit with a breakfast date, as it would seem unnatural to (as said earlier) attempt to escalate the mood of the date to sexual for breakfast.
It's not a question of being turned off or not, it's a question of playing your best cards to achieve your goal.
Same as you don't go to a job interview dressed in a kangaroo costume (why make things harder than they already are?). I would also avoid lunch job interviews actually (same reason: does not help achieving my goal and showing the best of me, taking extra risks that are not worth it - better to attempt to reschedule if possible).
Makes sense?
I am going to disagree because even though any date is potential stepping stone to a long term relationship it would seem what you are saying is that it has to be founded in sexual desire.
Maybe I am reading that wrong so apologies if I am.
From reading many ladys comments on here over the years sexual attraction can build by the way you carry yourself,a breakfast meeting,a lunch date,a church social etc all will let her see your personality,your humor,how courteous one is and so on.
Maybe not for every lady but honestly it would be a bit of a turn off to me if a woman felt they only can figure out if they want to get to know me more is if I follow an exact script for what a "date" should be.
That would be a signal to me that she may be somewhat high maintenance.
This also not to say a guy should just want to hang out and do nothing with her so no misunderstandings on that.0 -
Thanks to all the guys answering my silly questions lately. I'm really new at being on the dating scene after a long relationship and am still acclimating to everything.
Very interesting. So, my takeaway is that if I think I might like him enough and (assuming have seen a photo) find him attactive enough to be sexually intrerested, schedule a dinner. If not, earlier in the day will be ok just to get the meeting over with and also signal to him that my level of interest is only so-so.
Oh, and no kangaroo costumes on dates or interviews...guess it will just have to collect dust in the back of my closet from now on. lol0 -
I think with a breakfast date, it is harder to escalate the date mood to "sexual" (and by sexual, I don't mean "have sex at the end of the date" - although it could happen - but I mean generate enough "sexual" attraction from the girl so that she sees you as a potential partner, which is a part of what people call "chemistry").
flamfloz, your whole post makes a lot of sense... I just wanted to comment on this piece... if the guy is awesome, I'm going to be sexually attracted no matter what time of day we meet. Seriously. And that attraction will build by doing even mundane things together. But that could just be me.0 -
I think with a breakfast date, it is harder to escalate the date mood to "sexual" (and by sexual, I don't mean "have sex at the end of the date" - although it could happen - but I mean generate enough "sexual" attraction from the girl so that she sees you as a potential partner, which is a part of what people call "chemistry").
flamfloz, your whole post makes a lot of sense... I just wanted to comment on this piece... if the guy is awesome, I'm going to be sexually attracted no matter what time of day we meet. Seriously. And that attraction will build by doing even mundane things together. But that could just be me.
I completely agree with you. At the same time I'd rather avoid sending mixed signals if that's how the guy takes it.0 -
it would seem what you are saying is that it has to be founded in sexual desire.
Maybe I am reading that wrong so apologies if I am.
From reading many ladys comments on here over the years sexual attraction can build by the way you carry yourself,a breakfast meeting,a lunch date,a church social etc all will let her see your personality,your humor,how courteous one is and so on.
I, personally, think sexual desire is essential in a relationship. Maybe I will change that mindset when I'm 20 years older and all the men have stopped "working" ha ha
Willing to be corrected if I'm wrong on this... but I've observed that for most men the sexual desire comes more from the visual (and a woman who isn't sexually appealing can't make herself so by treating him nicer). OTOH, for most ladies sexual desire can be visual, but is more often generated by the way she's treated (so then a guy who, at first glance, may not have been as appealing visually can create in her intense desire by treating her the way she likes).
What do you think?0 -
I define my dates based on how the exchange goes. If there is chemistry it will be there any time of day at any place.0
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I think after a couple of dates, that's a cute idea. Go out hiking, then get breakfast and coffee after. I'd love that!0
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I think you should treat it as a business meeting until you feel otherwise...like if you sense some chemisty stirring up over your waffles.
However, I think a breakfast date is so very cute Then if you are feeling good about each other you have the option of doing some things together during the day, instead of late at night when you're at the time of..."You coming to my place, or what?" 0
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