How about this????
Meghan0116
Posts: 1,263 Member
Through text obviously. lol
Since last night, I have done a lot of thinking and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for this. I had a great time last night but know that it can't go any further. I am so sorry.
OR
From my friend: I am addicted to porn and *kitten* and don't want anything that has a pulse. lol
I suck at this.
Since last night, I have done a lot of thinking and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for this. I had a great time last night but know that it can't go any further. I am so sorry.
OR
From my friend: I am addicted to porn and *kitten* and don't want anything that has a pulse. lol
I suck at this.
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Replies
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Umm, huh? :laugh:0
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#2!!!! lol0
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I think the first message is good...straight to the point and don't think it icould be misunderstood. Good luck!0
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Can you see him as a friend at all???
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Maybe, should I add that in?0
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I think #1 sounds appropriate. But thank you for the laugh of #2.0
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You said "suck" :smokin:
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Um only if you really like him as a friend lol!
Out of the handful of guys of gone out with, I can only be REAL friends with 2. As in, I can hang out with them and have a blast.. So don't give him that line if you don't mean it.
If you can't, I'd just say "thank you for a wonderful time but I just don't think there's any chemistry here". Short and to the point. HIT SEND.0 -
I'd reply that to #2: "Hey, that's great! I'm addicted to porn and *kitten* too. I work in a morgue so totally get your point but I still miss the cuddles from time to time. Don't you? x" :laugh:
Apart from that, I would follow La_Amazona advice. She's obviously a femme fatale...
Also think about the FWB thing since it's all the rage (although if there is no physical attraction...).0 -
Maybe, should I add that in?
I'd suggest NO... a guy friend said that just makes the guy feel like he still has a chance with you, and that if you know for sure you're not interested then just tell him straight up it won't work (without the lets be friends thing). Of course, I wanna hit him over the head because he's the first one to tell a girl he doesn't like "let's be friends..." even though he has no intention of ever seeing her again... but that's beside the point.0 -
This looks like some sort of early ceasing. Like maybe after one date. That's normal. I get the sense that most dates are "one & done".
How about this?
It's not going to work and don't bother contacting me.
The way to making these early stage ceasings easy if you are a woman is to make yourself look bad in the eyes of the guy. That way, the guy feels that he's not losing anything worthwhile and he can always think that the woman is the problem. For the woman, using that one liner above is a great solution. You are free to move on and don't have to explain yourself to the guy. No guy is going to put forth the effort to get an explanation to that one liner, rather, they are just going to think that the woman is difficult and/or difficult to please. Really that one liner is a win-win given the circumstances.0 -
This looks like some sort of early ceasing. Like maybe after one date. That's normal. I get the sense that most dates are "one & done".
How about this?
It's not going to work and don't bother contacting me.
The way to making these early stage ceasings easy if you are a woman is to make yourself look bad in the eyes of the guy. That way, the guy feels that he's not losing anything worthwhile and he can always think that the woman is the problem. For the woman, using that one liner above is a great solution. You are free to move on and don't have to explain yourself to the guy. No guy is going to put forth the effort to get an explanation to that one liner, rather, they are just going to think that the woman is difficult and/or difficult to please. Really that one liner is a win-win given the circumstances.
Chances are they've texted back and forth several times, so something like that line might come across as abrupt and a little harsh. Then again, what do I know?0 -
This looks like some sort of early ceasing. Like maybe after one date. That's normal. I get the sense that most dates are "one & done".
How about this?
It's not going to work and don't bother contacting me.
The way to making these early stage ceasings easy if you are a woman is to make yourself look bad in the eyes of the guy. That way, the guy feels that he's not losing anything worthwhile and he can always think that the woman is the problem. For the woman, using that one liner above is a great solution. You are free to move on and don't have to explain yourself to the guy. No guy is going to put forth the effort to get an explanation to that one liner, rather, they are just going to think that the woman is difficult and/or difficult to please. Really that one liner is a win-win given the circumstances.
I could never say anything like that. Even if I don't want to date him, I wouldn't purposely hurt his feelings. Although, that is also how I end up dating guys longer than I intent to.0 -
I still think text messages work best when the simplest of messages are exchanged. I think my one liner is quite simple and direct. I know I would rather a woman cease things with me in the early stages in the way that I suggested rather than line 1 from the OP of “Since last night, I have done a lot of thinking and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for this. I had a great time last night but know that it can't go any further. I am so sorry.” That just comes across as pandering to me. A similar variation to that is “I enjoyed our time, but I don’t see things going anywhere”. I detest receiving that text message. It’s not direct and it is rather two faced. If you actually enjoyed our time, you’d want to be with me. All I ask for someone to be real with me.
Either way, things will end, but I know that I would have more respect for someone if they were more direct with me. Some guys that I’ve talked about this type of thing with also shared my viewpoint on the need for more direct communication.0 -
I still think text messages work best when the simplest of messages are exchanged. I think my one liner is quite simple and direct. I know I would rather a woman cease things with me in the early stages in the way that I suggested rather than line 1 from the OP of “Since last night, I have done a lot of thinking and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for this. I had a great time last night but know that it can't go any further. I am so sorry.” That just comes across as pandering to me. A similar variation to that is “I enjoyed our time, but I don’t see things going anywhere”. I detest receiving that text message. It’s not direct and it is rather two faced. If you actually enjoyed our time, you’d want to be with me. All I ask for someone to be real with me.
Either way, things will end, but I know that I would have more respect for someone if they were more direct with me. Some guys that I’ve talked about this type of thing with also shared my viewpoint on the need for more direct communication.
Yeah, my text is a definite beating around the bush kind of text. And yes Carl, I have said suck and bush. lmao I hate hurting feelings and he is a nice guy. This is why I shouldn't date.0 -
Guys don't do the whole beat around the bush thing very well Meghan. Always remember, the more direct, the better.
You said the guy is a nice guy. That's precisely the problem. Women don't go for the nice guys. As a guy, you want the women to perceive you as a bit of a jerk/a-hole etc because that's what gets her excited. Combining some nice guy traits with jerkish behavior is the ultimate combination that will keep her around the longest.
Best wishes Meghan! You seem sweet.
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Guys don't do the whole beat around the bush thing very well Meghan. Always remember, the more direct, the better.
You said the guy is a nice guy. That's precisely the problem. Women don't go for the nice guys. As a guy, you want the women to perceive you as a bit of a jerk/a-hole etc because that's what gets her excited. Combining some nice guy traits with jerkish behavior is the ultimate combination that will keep her around the longest.
Best wishes Meghan! You seem sweet.
Good point. I will probably ponder this for the next few hours and then do something.
This has absolutely nothing to do with him being nice. It is more that I am not physically attracted to him. I like nice, I want nice. I have done not nice and that was *kitten*.
Thanks. Although, guys want sweet girls like girls want nice guys. 0 -
I'd reply that to #2: "Hey, that's great! I'm addicted to porn and *kitten* too. I work in a morgue so totally get your point but I still miss the cuddles from time to time. Don't you? x" :laugh:
Apart from that, I would follow La_Amazona advice. She's obviously a femme fatale...
Also think about the FWB thing since it's all the rage (although if there is no physical attraction...).
ALL of this just cracked me up!!0 -
I think your first one is just fine...definitely be honest and go straight to the point, but do it gently. Some men do have feelings in there.0
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