A few things I've learnt about myself that might be useful
ravenclawseekergirl
Posts: 342 Member
Hello everyone! It's a bit empty in here isnt it? So here's my attempt to revive the place. A few things that i've realised about myself and the world recently.
1. I need to remember to ask people questions about themselves instead of talking about myself.
2. People think that your being rude if you don't keep eye contact with them when they're talking. I don't see how this is any different from staring at people and that's supposed to be rude... A good trick for getting around actually looking people in the eye is to look at their mouth or ears. But i tend to pick a spot (something) that is about 2 inches or 5cm away from their head and look at that instead.
That tip came from a music teacher that i had in Primary School (age 3-11)
3. Trying new foods can be scary. Planning rigidly when new foods are going to be introduced helps me prepare for it and make it more likely that i'll try it. Trying new hard foods first/basic ingredients for example raisins is easier to do as they keep for a long time and therefore it doesn't matter if you aren't able to try them that day.
At first i only hold it, then the next time i might progress to sniffing it, then licking it, then just putting it in my mouth for a little bit before taking it out. From there you just slowly progress to eating it. Doing it this way means that there isnt the pressure of having to eat the thing the first time round.
4. Need to remember to repeat some of what people have said to me in the past as this apparently shows that i have been listening to them.
5. I dont like being touched unless i know that it's coming or i initiate it. Otherwise it's painful, especially on bad days.
6. Hairdressers are scary and getting my hair cut is painful, plus your stuck there whilst they try to talk to you. Last time i had mine done i had a panic attack because i couldn't get away.
7. Some clothes are painful eg. some jeans, the seam at the end of socks, velvety stuff, bri nylon wool etc
8. People moving my stuff from it's place really makes me angry? Not really sure if this is the right word for what feeling i'm trying to explain.
Yeah i think that that's more than enough for now... Would love to hear your thoughts on what i've just written and what things that you/your child/ person you know has. A lot of these things i didn't notice until they were pointed out in textbooks i've been reading our someone has pointed them out to me.
Hope to hear from you soon.
1. I need to remember to ask people questions about themselves instead of talking about myself.
2. People think that your being rude if you don't keep eye contact with them when they're talking. I don't see how this is any different from staring at people and that's supposed to be rude... A good trick for getting around actually looking people in the eye is to look at their mouth or ears. But i tend to pick a spot (something) that is about 2 inches or 5cm away from their head and look at that instead.
That tip came from a music teacher that i had in Primary School (age 3-11)
3. Trying new foods can be scary. Planning rigidly when new foods are going to be introduced helps me prepare for it and make it more likely that i'll try it. Trying new hard foods first/basic ingredients for example raisins is easier to do as they keep for a long time and therefore it doesn't matter if you aren't able to try them that day.
At first i only hold it, then the next time i might progress to sniffing it, then licking it, then just putting it in my mouth for a little bit before taking it out. From there you just slowly progress to eating it. Doing it this way means that there isnt the pressure of having to eat the thing the first time round.
4. Need to remember to repeat some of what people have said to me in the past as this apparently shows that i have been listening to them.
5. I dont like being touched unless i know that it's coming or i initiate it. Otherwise it's painful, especially on bad days.
6. Hairdressers are scary and getting my hair cut is painful, plus your stuck there whilst they try to talk to you. Last time i had mine done i had a panic attack because i couldn't get away.
7. Some clothes are painful eg. some jeans, the seam at the end of socks, velvety stuff, bri nylon wool etc
8. People moving my stuff from it's place really makes me angry? Not really sure if this is the right word for what feeling i'm trying to explain.
Yeah i think that that's more than enough for now... Would love to hear your thoughts on what i've just written and what things that you/your child/ person you know has. A lot of these things i didn't notice until they were pointed out in textbooks i've been reading our someone has pointed them out to me.
Hope to hear from you soon.
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Replies
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I can't keep looking people in the eye either when I talk to them. It's not to be rude or because I'm not interested. When I was younger a sure fire way to send my Father into a blind rage if he was already made at your was to look him in the eye. He saw it as defiance and flipped out. So I still have that engraved in my subconscious. I will have to try the ear or mouth thing, thanks for that tip :laugh:0
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Thanks for that....you really are an inspirtation to me. We have a 10 year old boy with autism and your posts are really helping me understand him even more. Many of your struggles are our struggles. It took him 9 years to finally get his haircut at a salon. He also hates jeans, as he says they are too hard. Although he loves most foods, he has many of the same stuggles in this area.
Keep posting!0 -
It's been a while i know, but i thought that i should follow on with a few more things, especially if it helps anyone.
1. I cant sleep without a heavy duvet cover on, even in summer. So i tend to sleep very badly in summer. Apparently this is common thing.(i saw it written in a book about children with autism).
2.I find it hard to tell hen a conversation is over.
3. I feel older than people my age, but also much younger, i'm not interested in things that they are interested in. You know like boyfriends/girlfriends etc. I basically feel exactly like i did when i was 12 but in a different body.
4. Sometimes things get too much for me and i NEED to be alone, so i dont really spend a lot of time with my family because during the day i dont have any choice but to be around people. Being at uni or working in a work placement as part of my course.
5. I have a collection of safe places that when things are too much i spend time in. One of them is my bedroom, anther is the local ecology park, the local library or the one in the next town, and a park bench that i spent a lot of time sitting on when i was in college.
6. Things that i have 'obsessed' over in the past : trains, lord of the rings, dolphins, plants, Harry Potter and Hetalia Axis Powers.
7. I find it hard to try new foods that have a mixture of different ingredients in them, even if i know that i like all of them, because i find it hard to imagine what they would taste like together. I definitely wouldn't try something that had something in it that i had never tried before in it. eg. pasta with i dont know aubergine in it or something like that because i've never had aubergine before in my life. Even though i know i like pasta and that i could pick it off if i really didn't like it. So if trying a new dish i pick something that is made up of bits that i know that i like and try to remember that i like all of the different bits.
I think that is enough to be going on for now. I'm going to be updating the list of useful resources soon, feel free to add anything that you have found useful to it as well. After all i'm sure that everyone has different pockets of knowledge that we can tap into and se for the good of us all.0 -
One thing I've found helps me calm down massively is brushing my hair. I've tested this hypotheses and it seems to hold in most cases where I am stressed.0
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Hello,
I relate to the not wanting to be touched thing. Lately its becoming a big issue.
If I'm on the computer and my back is to the living room, my husband will often touch my shoulders as he passes. ARGH!!! If I don't know its coming it feels awful - it breaks my concentration and is like a shock to my system - very much like being thrown into an ice cold pool. Also, when I'm eating, if someone touches me - my husband, or my kids, its the same type of thing - two strong sensory inputs coming in at the same time, and only one that I really wanted to deal with (food.) That one feels more like being stung by a bee.
I'm ASD and my son is pdd-nos, so lots of personal experience with communication and sensory disorders.
Good to meet you all.0 -
Hi it's been a long time since you posted but i just wanted to say that i really connect to the double sensory thing, i also have problems with noise and food. Hence why i don't sit at the table with everyone else. When i'm feeling overstimulated, touching feels like the person is pouring boiling hot water on me and noise like pieces of glass being rammed into my ears and brain...Hello,
I relate to the not wanting to be touched thing. Lately its becoming a big issue.
If I'm on the computer and my back is to the living room, my husband will often touch my shoulders as he passes. ARGH!!! If I don't know its coming it feels awful - it breaks my concentration and is like a shock to my system - very much like being thrown into an ice cold pool. Also, when I'm eating, if someone touches me - my husband, or my kids, its the same type of thing - two strong sensory inputs coming in at the same time, and only one that I really wanted to deal with (food.) That one feels more like being stung by a bee.
I'm ASD and my son is pdd-nos, so lots of personal experience with communication and sensory disorders.
Good to meet you all.0 -
Hi so i thought that i would write something about myself again some of the stuff is more in depth than before. A lot of stuff about food in here.
Some things that i think are important for you to know before i start are that i am currently in the middle of being tested for Autism. (Aspergers basically) But i self diagnosed it three years ago.
One of the biggest problems in my life is food. Being born in the 90's i come from the generation of children that wasnt taught about food. You may have seen Jamie Oliver's crusade about school meals in Britain and that would tell you a lot about how things were. So everything that i know now comes from cooking lessons in secondary school and what ive learned on my own.
One of the things that made me suspect that i had Autism was my problem with food. I find it very hard to try new foods, especially if it is an altogether new meal with a new ingredient in it. I cant imagine what new foods would taste like even if it is made with things that i know that i like. I cant eat out and when i'm very stressed all i can eat is bland things to prevent myself from becoming overstimulated. White bread and cream crackers are my downfall.
Food and noise are things that cant happen together and naturally that meant that i couldnt eat lunch in the secondary school (aged 11 to 16) cafeteteria because it was too noisy and eventually i stopped eating lunch at all. My mum used to make me sandwiches and i'd throw them away when i got to school. Then i stopped eating breakfast because i was so worried about going to school. Being bullied everyday for the way that you look and the fact that you dont have any friends, for five years gets under your skin. That and i didnt understand sarcasm. When i got home i would then eat like there was no tomorrow, because i was starving.
Routines are important and i've found it really hard to break out of that established routine that i had, since i've left school and my weight has steadily gone up. Changing things makes me very anxious so if i make a change i tend to revert back to my old ways pretty quickly. Hence why iv'e been bouncing around the same twenty pounds for the last six months.
Since i started MFP i've gained a lot of confidence in trying new things and as a result my diet has increased a lot i.e. i eat more foods than i used to. I use a method that was taught to me by a school dinner lady when i was in primary school, and that is not to put too much pressure on myself to eat new things there and then. They didnt let you leave the table until you had at least licked/put into your mouth what ever was left on your plate.
There's probably more that i could say, but i feel this is where i shall leave it for now.
Bye
...raven...0
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