Please allow me to vent....

teagin2002

I married the love of my life, I still love him but he has done so much that I can't see myself with him anymore. He has become extremely insecure and hurtful for a long time and he knows it too. We almost separated last week but he convinced me to give him a chance to make it all better, now he is trying by doing stuff I like and then forcing me to follow his rules still.
I know he is trying, and please keep note there is no one else, but I am so unhappy and feel like I just want to run and be alone for a while.
I need to give him the rest of the week as I promised, and I am really struggling to be here. Please note I am giving him every opportunity and not expecting him to do crap, he just keeps doing it. I am confronting him on it and I know he is not planning on changing it because he is arguing it so he may be able to continue acting this way.

I am just going to get this off my chest:
I want to runaway, and run fast and hard. Be a lone and just rest and be at peace, no arguing or having to do $it to save an argument, why do people like being so unhappy all the time!!! If you have no problems then be thankful for that, do not create problems that do not exist!!!

Steelheart7

I don't really know anything about your situation, but it looks like you have lost a good amount of weight .. I wonder if that has anything to do with the change in him lately?

I know in my situation, divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through .. but sitting where I am now, on the other side .. I am so thankful every day that I am out of that environment. Sometimes it can't be saved.

Moe4572

I have no advice, but sorry that you have to go through this........

teagin2002

I can tell you I want it to be saved, but at this point I am so beat up and tiered of fighting that I don't have the energy to fight for it any more.
I feel like I need a break or at least to get away for a while.

La_Amazona

It won't change in a week. If you're serious about saving it, you both need to get into therapy asap. Both parties have to be willing.

Marriage isn't about the feelings all the time.. it's about committment. I'm divorced but God knows I tried with all my heart EVEN after he was unfaithful. That's why I'm adamant about BOTH parties having to give and want to save the marriage. If not, sooner than later the one carrying the load will burst.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. All marriages go through rough spots. I know it can be overwhelming at times and during those times it makes sense to run but sometimes the saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" needs to be applied.

Again, therapy would be good for you both to determine what needs to be done.

Carl01

Nothing I can say that will be helpful to the situation but just be true to yourself and to him.
It will be a long and painful time no matter what the outcome. *hugs*

ejoy319

It won't change in a week. If you're serious about saving it, you both need to get into therapy asap. Both parties have to be willing.

Marriage isn't about the feelings all the time.. it's about committment. I'm divorced but God knows I tried with all my heart EVEN after he was unfaithful. That's why I'm adamant about BOTH parties having to give and want to save the marriage. If not, sooner than later the one carrying the load will burst.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. All marriages go through rough spots. I know it can be overwhelming at times and during those times it makes sense to run but sometimes the saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" needs to be applied.

Again, therapy would be good for you both to determine what needs to be done.

Great advice!!

You can't sacrifice yourself to make a relationship work you will lose yourself in the process. There has to be healthy boundaries in every relationship and sometimes you need some outside assistance to establish those boundaries.

DMZ_1

I got nothing. Only you can determine what you can take. The course of the relationship needs change.

Best wishes!

JanieJack

I don't know enough to offer advice, but a site that has helped many others is www.marriagebuilders.com

Their forum is EXCELLENT for conflict resloution and there are MANY couples on there who had the WORST hurts in but are now happily married. The forum link is: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=cfrm&c=2

They have sections for surviving an affair, facing divorce, dating after divorce, but mostly the site is geared towards saving marriage.


{{{{hugs}}}}