Men who earn less than their girlfriends?
JanieJack
Posts: 3,830 Member
From the Dating Multiple People Topic
Men, does this bother you or your friends? Much of my marriage trouble began the year my earning outpaced my ex-husbands. It created a lot of stress.
How do you feel when you discover your date makes more money than you? Or, ahem, how do your friends feel, lol, becasue the guys on this board as so confident in their manliness I know it doesn't bother YOU who are reading this ;-)
Men are often expected to pick up early stage dating costs despite the fact that women are often earning equal or more than men.
Men, does this bother you or your friends? Much of my marriage trouble began the year my earning outpaced my ex-husbands. It created a lot of stress.
How do you feel when you discover your date makes more money than you? Or, ahem, how do your friends feel, lol, becasue the guys on this board as so confident in their manliness I know it doesn't bother YOU who are reading this ;-)
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You know my answer. I'd love for a woman to make more than I do. That would push my retirement up to, well, why not right now? If a man is secure in himself, it doesn't matter what she makes. Although I will do a credit check on my future serious relationships The government might do bailouts, I don't.0
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If I was filthy rich then I wouldn't mind but when I make a decent living and I am comfortable with it; my boyfriend etc making less than me is annoying. Especially if he is as you said above comfortable with his making less than he relies on you more and I am NOT the breadwinner in any relationship. Maybe I am old school maybe am a ***** whatever #getasecondjob0
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I won't date a girl based upon her career or lack-there of.. definite deal-breaker, call me shallow but been there, done that and I know how much of a difference that makes long-term already. I'd love it if she made more than me..0
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I wouldn`t care one way or the other,if I let what amounts to an ego issue stand between happiness and myself then I probably don`t deserve it to begin with.0
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Although I will do a credit check on my future serious relationships The government might do bailouts, I don't.
I'm with you on that, lol!0 -
I make decent money, but I have a girlfriend who makes REALLY good money and she told me that a) guys don't like to date her after they find out how much she makes and b) the only men who stick around when they find out her profession are looking for a sugar momma.0
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I make decent money, but I have a girlfriend who makes REALLY good money and she told me that a) guys don't like to date her after they find out how much she makes and b) the only men who stick around when they find out her profession are looking for a sugar momma.
Wow, that really sucks! I'm sorry to hear that!
I would prefer the guy earn more, partially old fashioned, partially so it's less likely to become an issue. Honestly though, so long as we loved each other and that was the basis of the relationship, I wouldn't care.0 -
I make decent money, but I have a girlfriend who makes REALLY good money and she told me that a) guys don't like to date her after they find out how much she makes and b) the only men who stick around when they find out her profession are looking for a sugar momma.
Doctor?0 -
Doctor?
Close. Pharmaceutical industry.0 -
I am very pleased to see the answers the guys are giving on this topic.
To me, it doesn't matter if he makes more or not. What is important is if he responsible with what he does make. Does he "blow it" on material (temporary) things instead of paying his bills, does he have more credit cards than his income will pay for, does he save, etc?0 -
Same here.To me, it doesn't matter if he makes more or not. What is important is if he responsible with what he does make. Does he "blow it" on material (temporary) things instead of paying his bills, does he have more credit cards than his income will pay for, does he save, etc?
I am also really comfortable talking about money but I think this is because I manage it well most of the time (not a big spender). So it always feels weird to me when a woman is embarrassed talking about it.
Only thing a woman who is earning more than I do would have to contend with is being called "posh" sometimes and me pretending I'm mimicking her drinking tea with my pinkie finger extended mumbling "We are not amused!" with the Queen's English.
If she survives this, then fine.0 -
Same here.To me, it doesn't matter if he makes more or not. What is important is if he responsible with what he does make. Does he "blow it" on material (temporary) things instead of paying his bills, does he have more credit cards than his income will pay for, does he save, etc?
I am also really comfortable talking about money but I think this is because I manage it well most of the time (not a big spender). So it always feels weird to me when a woman is embarrassed talking about it.
Only thing a woman who is earning more than I do would have to contend with is being called "posh" sometimes and me pretending I'm mimicking her drinking tea with my pinkie finger extended mumbling "We are not amused!" with the Queen's English.
If she survives this, then fine.
LMBO! I believe I could handle that. May even spit my tea from laughing!!0 -
I have no problem with a guy who makes less money than I do...the only time it's an issue is if they make a LOT less, in which case it can get weird if I want to do things they can't afford and I'm not making enough or don't want to cover the difference.0
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So it always feels weird to me when a woman is embarrassed talking about it.
It's not a point of being embarrassed... it's a point of "when the guys find out you make more than them, they're no longer interested unless they're just looking for a handout."
Said sentiment isn't true (I hope) but that's the perception a friend and I have0 -
I dont think I've ever dated a guy that earns more than me. As long as the guy earns a decent wage and can pay his way, I've never had a problem. Becomes more of an issue if the man is broke! Then it tends to creep into the resentment box and cause a bit of a rift. But I can't speak for ALL men obviously :bigsmile:0
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I have absolutely no problem with a woman making more money than I do. But I make pretty good money already and am pretty happy with my career progression thus far so I think that leads to a lot of confidence in that area.
Money/Job wise, these are the issues I do look at:
1. Is she responsible with her money, regardless of how much she makes? I am pretty damn conservative with my money, and have a hard time with those that save nothing or show no obvious knowledge of the value of a dollar.
2. Does she work in a respectable profession? Some professions just bother me and I think provide absolutely no value to society. Example: Gossip Columnist.0 -
Money/Job wise, these are the issues I do look at:
1. Is she responsible with her money, regardless of how much she makes? I am pretty damn conservative with my money, and have a hard time with those that save nothing or show no obvious knowledge of the value of a dollar.
OhMyGoodness yes! One of the guys I went out with was a good friend before I got divorced, so when we started dating there was no awkwardness: it was a lot of fun. He came from money, but after a couple months I couldn't take his extravagance. I don't mind being generous, and I am 100% of the mindset I worked hard for my money and I deserve to enjoy it. So I didn't mind him buying appetizers for the whole table or buying a brand new car. But I couldn't handle things like thowing down a $20 tip for a $12 meal, or taking one sip of a 20oz soda then throwing it out because "they'll make more." GREAT guy, lots of FUN!
My friends told me don't worry about it becasue even thouh he was of moderate income, his family was rich so I'd always be set. But after we'd been hanging out a couple months, all I could think about was if we settled down he'd soon be doing that with MY money as well as HIS.0 -
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My friends told me don't worry about it becasue even thouh he was of moderate income, his family was rich so I'd always be set. But after we'd been hanging out a couple months, all I could think about was if we settled down he'd soon be doing that with MY money as well as HIS.
Exactly my thoughts!!! I am pretty laid back, but that would make me lose it watching my money go to frivolous crap.
This thought is also starting to apply to general friendships for me too. I am only home one week a month and most of those times I don't see my friends at all because they are too poor to go even go grab a burger or something else cheap, and would rather just stay in and play XBox. And I am not interested in watching someone else play xbox when Ia m home (or ever). Damn I need some friends that don't blow their money on payday.0 -
I'd be fine with earning less than a woman. Would not bother me, I'd have no resentment or jealousy. I would feel some relief of financial burden in a serious relationship.
A woman's career is generally not a determining factor in whether I feel attraction.0 -
Ive been there many times so I understand his situation but If you treat him with respect and never degrade him then it should never matter to him what you make. Money isnt everything but if its there, then he should just enjoy it and being able to live comfortably..
Financial is the number 1 reason for divorce, so many couples struggle to pay bills, eat, and buy or do things that are fun. His pride might be hurt but he needs to get over that crap. If he is secure and confident in who he is then it shouldnt bother him.
Its all about being a team. Both parties contribute to everything. Being prideful is just silly and can ruin a marriage.0 -
I can dig me a sugga momma!!!!
I make plenty of money for my self and children If I had a woman that made more than me I wouldn't care, our money would go to the family needs anyway, I would'nt be some slacker though could work overtime from time to time, plus it would depend on how much she made too and if she was comfortable with what I made. might get a early retirement and fish all day..... hey I can dream!!!0 -
According to a 2006 study, women are unhappier when they make more money than men. This is a good blog post that is link heavy on some of the topics that have been discussed in this thread.
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/27/your-family-would-be-better-off-with-a-housewife-so-would-mine/0 -
Doctor?
Close. Pharmaceutical industry.
Me too maybe that is why I feel as I do. Ugh0 -
I made significantly more than my son's father most of our relationship. He loved it because I handled all the bill paying, blah blah blah. We had a joint checking account but he never seemed to realized that his fun money was essentially my money. I didn't care that I made more money, I just cared that he did not participate in paying the bills.
I dated an E-7 in the Army for awhile. He didn't have children, was tight, and also traded money on the internet. He once asked me how much I make and when I told him, he said he couldn't believe how little I make. Um, doofus, I work in nonprofit. I am actually at the higher end of most pay scales. But, my salary could not compete with his salary and BAH.
I have not found money to be the biggest issue for me but have found education levels to be a problem. Not for me usually but for them.0 -
have found education levels to be a problem. Not for me usually but for them.
Tru dat! People didn't understand why I stayed with my last boyfriend so long (his lifestyle and mine didn't really mesh), but he treated me like a queen and even though he worked blue collar jobs wasn't intimidated by the fancy-shmancy degrees. Most guys act intimidated by that unless they have more/higher degrees, more money.
Men say they want a smart woman, but as great as my guy friends are, I tease them because all they ever bring home are ditzes.0 -
have found education levels to be a problem. Not for me usually but for them.
Tru dat! People didn't understand why I stayed with my last boyfriend so long (his lifestyle and mine didn't really mesh), but he treated me like a queen and even though he worked blue collar jobs wasn't intimidated by the fancy-shmancy degrees. Most guys act intimidated by that unless they have more/higher degrees, more money.
Men say they want a smart woman, but as great as my guy friends are, I tease them because all they ever bring home are ditzes.
Honestly it would not make any difference to me,I graduated high school and that is it so just about everyone has more formal education then I do.
However I can rebuild diesel engines,hang drywall,build a fence and other things a degree would not have brought me.0 -
Corollary question - What about a woman having more degrees/higher education?
I'm in Grad School going for my PhD in engineering. I've dated guys who don't have degrees, but they always seem to feel intimidated.
Whats up with that? As long as you have a job, can pay your bills, why does education matter? I like school, and I'm good at it, so I want to continue (while the school is offering to foot the bill). That doesn't mean I think I'm any better than a mechanic or carpenter with a different set of skills but no degree.
(Totally wrote that without reading page two. Now who looks stupid?)0 -
(Totally wrote that without reading page two. Now who looks stupid?)
r u kidding? You're brilliant! I see a new topic coming in 3....2...1...0 -
have found education levels to be a problem. Not for me usually but for them.
Men say they want a smart woman, but as great as my guy friends are, I tease them because all they ever bring home are ditzes.
that's because the ditzes are an easier catch.. the independent, successful ones are a bit harder to get.0
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