Giving your body type on a personals ad
Dorianlg
Posts: 65 Member
I'm sorry if this has been asked before/recently, but I'm stuck. OK Cupid wants you to state your body shape/type. Now, I've always put down that I'm a little extra. I'm 5'10, about 182 right now, which is 10 pounds higher than the top of the healthy weight range for a woman my height. That's a little extra. If you see me, *thin* is not the description that comes to you. I've got a 35" waist. That's not thin. I don't think anyone would describe me as "fat" either. I'm just a really big girl. I've got wide shoulders, DDD boobs and a belly.
My question is, at what point do I get to say that I'm "average" or "fit"? What is an average person? How fit do you have to be before you can describe yourself that way? Do you run a 5k? 10k?
I really don't want to describe myself inaccurately on a personals ad. Eventually someone is going to see you in person and if you've described yourself inaccurately they're only going to get even MORE turned off. But I don't want to turn guys off before I've even met them because they think I'm secretly fat with flattering photos because I've described myself as "a little extra."
My question is, at what point do I get to say that I'm "average" or "fit"? What is an average person? How fit do you have to be before you can describe yourself that way? Do you run a 5k? 10k?
I really don't want to describe myself inaccurately on a personals ad. Eventually someone is going to see you in person and if you've described yourself inaccurately they're only going to get even MORE turned off. But I don't want to turn guys off before I've even met them because they think I'm secretly fat with flattering photos because I've described myself as "a little extra."
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I always say "a few extra pounds." First, I think that's true, but if the person doesn't, at least they will be pleasantly surprised!
Average is sooo hard to describe!0 -
Dorianlg, I saw your photo and honestly I think you would be average. Of course, you could be like me: I have a great hourglass figure but when I'd meet a guy from online he'd always be surprised to see that I'm an hourglass 14/16. From my pictures he would think I was more like an 8/10.
Here's the problem with saying "a few extra pounds" : most people who put that on online dating sites are very overweight. So guys who are looking for an average or thin girl won't even see you in their search. You don't look very overweight. I see a little middle but you really look good! So don't sell yourself short ;-)0 -
I have always said average for myself,obviously am not ripped nor am I obese.
Average has a lot wider range for a guy though.
As far as you...after looking at your profile pic I think saying average is fine,maybe curvy too as you have a nice figure.
Not sure how many pics you can upload but take one in nicely fitted clothes and post that to your profile.
I doubt anyone will complain or say you were not being honest.0 -
Yes I agree...average would be the term for you to choose. I've had discussions with different men on this...everyone has different definitions of the same word. Men I know seem to think "curvy" really means really overweight. >_< So that's why I picked the term, "Used Up" in my OK Cupid profile...lmfao. I have full body shots so most people know I'm just kidding about a used up body type... actually does anyone even know what that's supposed to mean?!0
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I always put curvy. Though I was told by a guy that 'big girls use curvy as code'. Uh his words not mine.I have always said average for myself,obviously am not ripped nor am I obese.
Average has a lot wider range for a guy though.
As far as you...after looking at your profile pic I think saying average is fine,maybe curvy too as you have a nice figure.
Not sure how many pics you can upload but take one in nicely fitted clothes and post that to your profile.
I doubt anyone will complain or say you were not being honest.
To the OP - I would think curvy too. Don't dare put fit unless you are a swimsuit model. Even if you are fit..thats code for guys looking for 'skinny'.
Does my cold medicine post make any sense here.0 -
Yes I agree...average would be the term for you to choose. I've had discussions with different men on this...everyone has different definitions of the same word. Men I know seem to think "curvy" really means really overweight. >_< So that's why I picked the term, "Used Up" in my OK Cupid profile...lmfao. I have full body shots so most people know I'm just kidding about a used up body type... actually does anyone even know what that's supposed to mean?!
There is a somewhat delicious irony in a dating site having the term "Used Up" as a description. :laugh:0 -
They even use "curvy" on the forums here to be plus sized. Go with average. I tend to think of average as anywhere between size 6-12. A few extra pounds and curvy are both overweight it most guys eyes on dating sites.0
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A few extra pounds and curvy are both overweight it most guys eyes on dating sites.
Only if they don't provide a full body shot. If a profile says curvy and there's only an up close picture of the face, I'm going to assume she's hiding something and she probably means overweight but was afraid to put that. Honestly, I think the body type is more of a confidence level indicator than anything.
Be confident in yourself.0 -
On one site I have a few extra pounds.
On another I put curvy.
I'm 5'9, size 12-14. I'm not thin at all. I have meat on me, especially legs and hips.
I was stumped but eh... I have full body shots on both sites.0 -
This is how I read body type words on a dating website. I have talked with other guys about this topic, and the majority see the categorizations as I do.
Average = overweight
Curvy = overweight
A few extra pounds = Really overweight
Prefer Not to Say = Overweight
Athletic/Fit = Either Athletic/Fit or Average
Skinny/Thin = Skinny/Thin
Generally speaking, we adjust one category upwards to what you say, unless you have strong photographic evidence to match your words. Full body shots help. I find two piece bathing suits/bikini shots helpful as well.
My intent with this post is not to criticize women. I'm sure males probably exaggerate their physiques as well.0 -
This is how I read body type words on a dating website. I have talked with other guys about this topic, and the majority see the categorizations as I do.
Average = overweight
Curvy = overweight
A few extra pounds = Really overweight
Prefer Not to Say = Overweight
Athletic/Fit = Either Athletic/Fit or Average
Skinny/Thin = Skinny/Thin
Generally speaking, we adjust one category upwards to what you say, unless you have strong photographic evidence to match your words. Full body shots help. I find two piece bathing suits/bikini shots helpful as well.
My intent with this post is not to criticize women. I'm sure males probably exaggerate their physiques as well.
YIKES!!!!
Well my body shots are proof of how I'm describing myself, I suppose.0 -
Yea, full body shots are a good thing.
There are women who claim Average but it is clear from their pics that they are overweight.
Likewise, the other side of the table probably isn't that great either. I'm sure women are dealing with guys that exaggerate as well. Do any of you ladies have stories about that? I'd be glad to hear your perspective.0 -
My Saturday night guy had "athletic" yet he was thin.. very thin.
:noway:
I notice a lot of guys put the "athletic" on there and when I think of athletic I think of muscles. Hmm..0 -
My Saturday night guy had "athletic" yet he was thin.. very thin.
:noway:
I notice a lot of guys put the "athletic" on there and when I think of athletic I think of muscles. Hmm..
Yup, same has happened to me. Guys also always add a couple of inches to their real height!
I used to put average on my profile, but I would change it to thin whenever I was feeling confident. According to the charts here, I should have left it at thin.
OP, Average seems like the best choice
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Average = overweight
Curvy = overweight
A few extra pounds = Really overweight
Prefer Not to Say = Overweight
Athletic/Fit = Either Athletic/Fit or Average
Skinny/Thin = Skinny/Thin
So if you're really just average and really just have a "few extra pounds" he might not even look into your profile if he has his filter set for only the Skinny/Thin or Athletic/Fit... because everything else communicates to him "Overweight."0 -
I think with only 10 lbs over the normal bmi, you are definitely in the average body type category. I just make sure to post a lot of pictures of myself on the sites, full length and all, with the date the pic was taken so they get an accurate idea of what I look like.0
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I used to put average on my profile, but I would change it to thin whenever I was feeling confident. According to the charts here, I should have left it at thin.
Yeah, La_Amazona you should have! I used to put "athletic" on mine with full body pix (because I'm still larger than your average marathoner, but hey, I can run one) and you are definitely smaller than me. And hot too.0 -
Thanks guys, this was actually incredibly helpful. It never occurred to me that guys would change their searches so that I never even showed up. I also need to take a good full body shot, which may mean finally asking my ex to give my digital camera back. Probably not going to tell him why!
I don't understand why people lie about their heights. Men AND women do it. Of course, some women I meet are just in denial about how not tall they are. Dear perfectly tall but not quite that tall ladies, there is nothing wrong with 5'9. It's just not 5'10.
I think some guys get confused and say "I'm an athletic person. I run every day. I'll put athletic." No, the profile wants to know if you have an athletic *build.* Which means muscles. Nothing wrong with skinny. I've outweighed every guy I've ever dated, including the last one at 6'4.
I appreciate honesty in profiles. No one wants to date a liar OR someone who is deluded about themselves. Not sure which is worse, actually.0 -
Average = overweight
Curvy = overweight
A few extra pounds = Really overweight
Prefer Not to Say = Overweight
Athletic/Fit = Either Athletic/Fit or Average
Skinny/Thin = Skinny/Thin
So if you're really just average and really just have a "few extra pounds" he might not even look into your profile if he has his filter set for only the Skinny/Thin or Athletic/Fit... because everything else communicates to him "Overweight."
Yup. That's the thing I noticed, men don't even see your profile unless it's thin or athletic. There is a large range. Lots of people say well the average woman is size 12/14 so put average but I don't want someone to be disappointed who expects smaller. But a lot of people put a few extra when they should put BBW. I hate that someone who may be attracted to me won't even see my profile but all I can do is put my full body pic up and if they see my profile at all, they can decide if I'm too fat for them. Lol0 -
I used to put average on my profile, but I would change it to thin whenever I was feeling confident. According to the charts here, I should have left it at thin.
Yeah, La_Amazona you should have! I used to put "athletic" on mine with full body pix (because I'm still larger than your average marathoner, but hey, I can run one) and you are definitely smaller than me. And hot too.
you didn't quote me.. lol that's Lizi!!0 -
you didn't quote me.. lol that's Lizi!!
What? Huh? oh... well. .. Liz is pretty hot too... and didn't that other thread say that "fit'/athletic/thin" are all synonyms for "hot"
(don't get me wrong, I'm all about MEN lol)0 -
you didn't quote me.. lol that's Lizi!!
What? Huh? oh... well. .. Liz is pretty hot too... and didn't that other thread say that "fit'/athletic/thin" are all synonyms for "hot"
(don't get me wrong, I'm all about MEN lol)
i was just pointing out that you quoted Lizi but put "La Amazona" in your post lol.0 -
Yup, same has happened to me. Guys also always add a couple of inches to their real height!
I measured my height this past summer for the first time in years and the height listed is the height that I repeatedly measured in at. No shoes were worn during measurement.0 -
Average = overweight
Curvy = overweight
A few extra pounds = Really overweight
Prefer Not to Say = Overweight
Athletic/Fit = Either Athletic/Fit or Average
Skinny/Thin = Skinny/Thin
So if you're really just average and really just have a "few extra pounds" he might not even look into your profile if he has his filter set for only the Skinny/Thin or Athletic/Fit... because everything else communicates to him "Overweight."
Not all sites have filtering capability. Match can filter if you are a paying member, so what you described can happen.
POF has no filtering that I am aware of. OkCupid can on an upgrade.
The "body type" system has been abused by so many members of both sexes that it really makes it difficult. Part of the reason why I believe that in person, organic, offline dating is far better. Meeting someone in person going about your daily rituals is a much better way to go.0 -
Average = overweight
Curvy = overweight
A few extra pounds = Really overweight
Prefer Not to Say = Overweight
Athletic/Fit = Either Athletic/Fit or Average
Skinny/Thin = Skinny/Thin
So if you're really just average and really just have a "few extra pounds" he might not even look into your profile if he has his filter set for only the Skinny/Thin or Athletic/Fit... because everything else communicates to him "Overweight."
Not all sites have filtering capability. Match can filter if you are a paying member, so what you described can happen.
POF has no filtering that I am aware of. OkCupid can on an upgrade.
The "body type" system has been abused by so many members of both sexes that it really makes it difficult. Part of the reason why I believe that in person, organic, offline dating is far better. Meeting someone in person going about your daily rituals is a much better way to go.
On POF , if you do advanced search, you can bring up only certain body types, and I believe you can also on OKCupid, and I don't have an upgrade..........0 -
I was on Match.com and a couple of other specialty sites that had no filtering.
Match had an exteme amount of filtering. I like 'em big and tall, but even *I* had to filer out the "few extra pounds" because the guys who wrote that were generally waaaay out of shape. I'm big, but I'm fit, and I expect my future partner to be as well.0 -
Huh. So all of this time I have been puttin curvy due to my fab rack and I should be putting average?
Im an 8/10.0 -
I just put "Used Up" so its obviously a joke when they see my pics and judge for themselves based on their preferences.
Then again, I also put that my education was 'dropped out of space camp'0 -
I have always said average for myself,obviously am not ripped nor am I obese.
Average has a lot wider range for a guy though.
As far as you...after looking at your profile pic I think saying average is fine,maybe curvy too as you have a nice figure.
Not sure how many pics you can upload but take one in nicely fitted clothes and post that to your profile.
I doubt anyone will complain or say you were not being honest.
Curvy, not only is it a more "attractive" word, it's honest.0 -
I was on Match.com and a couple of other specialty sites that had no filtering.
Match had an exteme amount of filtering. I like 'em big and tall, but even *I* had to filer out the "few extra pounds" because the guys who wrote that were generally waaaay out of shape. I'm big, but I'm fit, and I expect my future partner to be as well.
Exactly. I'm not bashing on a guy trying to lose weight, but we have to be honest. Because it is assumed that at some point we will meet and I like a person with a good grasp on reality. I have dated the gambit from stick thin to very large men. So long as they were honest, I didn't mind 0
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