:(

All day today I was at the Renaissance Fair with my best guy friend. and every hour he would eat. I ate once. & begged him to finish it. I logged it to see how much I ate..just half was like 460 calories. So then I realized we were walking everywhere, for 5 hours. logged that, burned 1007 cals.. I'm too excited to be in the negatives to eat anything & I'm really not even hungry. I tried to eat but I felt sick and purged it..I tried so hard not to but it just kinda happened. it's been months since I did that. I'm so ashamed. I've let you all down :(

Replies

  • luvlyjanny
    luvlyjanny Posts: 85 Member
    Dont worry!! take it as a bump in the road and just move on!! exactly the same happened to me yesterday! went home for a family party and everyone was watching me and telling me to eat and i tried to get my mind off the fact that i was putting food in my mouth!! and tried to convince myself not to purge but in the end i felt soo physically sick that i had to do it anyway!! i wont let it bother me though! today is a new day to try harder :)
  • littlemili
    littlemili Posts: 625 Member
    . I've let you all down :(
    No. You let yourself down because only you will suffer the eventual pain, sickness and death that will result unless you make the decision to turn this around. You did bad at the fair. So you can make up for it today. You can't be so defeatist. If I restricted and over exercised and realised it and felt bad, I would be sure to rest for the remainder f the day and eat a big dinner. Did you do that, or did you make the decision to just let yourself be overtaken by your eating disorder? You have to fight...
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    Girl, let me tell you how many times I made myself sick at Ren Faires in the past. :embarassed:
    Your only human. Forgive yourself. You don't have to apologise to us. Its just a minor setback. Focus on the same feeling you've had for months of not doing that. And know you have the power to overcome from here on out. You can do it. :wink:
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
    Dont beat yourself up because it will only make things worse. Take it for what it is..a learning experience. Tomorrow is a new day..one slip isnt a relapse unless you let it.
  • Thanks <3 & Milli; I really tried to resist but just something far beyond me made me run into the bathroom..I didn't even realize it until after I was done & looked down, then I started crying my eyes out. That was the first time in a long time that I did that..I thought it was gone..
  • littlemili
    littlemili Posts: 625 Member
    So it was a one off. You got caught off guard. That doesn't excuse what you did, it doesn't make you not responsible, but it means you can move on :)
  • Thank you for that <3