Comfy like an old shoe

Showgirlbody

I was thinking to myself earlier this week how I would describe myself to a potential partner, and somehow the subject line popped in my head. lol I have said before that I get pretty comfortable with people early. I'm comfortable with myself and men in general. I feel like I'm a guys' girl which seems to make me the girl that you hang out with once in a while when you want the "girlfriend experience" without the strings. People get cozy with me. I am very honest. I will talk about anything and everything when it comes up (except how much I weigh ha). I am inquisitive and unlike some people, I do not ask questions to test people, it's because I'm curious. Guys tell me secrets they don't tell many and therefore feel a sense of intimacy pretty quick. I will ask how many sex partners they've had and I will tell as well. As long as there are no STD's, I honestly don't care. I assume that all guys watch porn or want to go to strip clubs, again--don't care. I assume that they are seeing other people unless it's stated otherwise. If you want to come over to my house to watch a movie, even if it's the 2nd or 3rd time meeting and I trust you, I will let you. And I will put on my pajamas. (Not like teddy bear onesies, more like yoga pants and a t shirt). I will meet for the first time looking kind of cute, and I still will try of course after that with a lil make up and bathed and all that stuff. But I really don't play the game. I'm not trying to impress anyone. What you see is usually what you get with me. Men get a comfort factor with me and treat me like I'm a long term girlfriend right away. I'm a dork, and I like to tease and I will bust balls, too. I guess I don't expect the romance or to be wooed, and I don't play the coy, mysterious princess at the beginning.

Anyone is free to weigh in. But guys, do you think this is a fault? Do you think by expecting nothing, I will always get nothing in terms of romance? I won't be fun because there will be not much mystery very early on so without the chase, I will lose my charm? Guys usually think I'm very weird or very cool that I'm so chill. (trust me, I am no doormat and do not let myself be used or taken advantage of unless it's mutual). I am working on not appearing so indifferent all the time because I know that people need to know that they matter. An ex told me that guys like to feel needed and it seems like I don't need them for anything so they feel unworthy and undervalued. I feel like I should be with someone because I WANT to be with them, not because I NEED to be with someone. I don't want to play games. I just want cards on the table. Sorry, so long. Thoughts?

Carl01

I see nothing wrong with you being who you are and it sounds comfortable in your own skin.
Personally would rather have a lady just be upfront about what she likes,expects and desires rather then having to drag it out over time.

Don`t consider yourself an old shoe,consider yourself mature and not into playing games.
You are ideal to a decent man and you can both have fun together just being yourself.

flimflamfloz

I think you're awesome if you're like that. I am under the impression I would have a blast of a date / night out with you.

I think I am fairly similar to you, in a way, although it is probably not that much of a rare trait amongst men.
Meeting girls who are like you is not too frequent however, but I normally get along very well with girls like you, and ultimately, the mentality I'm looking for in a girlfriend is similar to yours. Most of these kind of girls, I keep at least as friends - and durable and good friends as well.

I think that hoping for a "prince charming" type romance is setting yourself up for disappointment, I think you have a much more realistic approach to what life can offer in terms of romance with your expectations, and - yes - you can definitely end up having romance, but not in the "traditional" sense. They are as good though, just more suited to your type. That's been my experience at least...

If I'm having a blast with you, I'll normally contact you again as I'll want to see you again - I think most people want to cut the chase (literally)... The only risk with "the chase" is when it becomes one sided (which, if the attraction is reciprocal, shouldn't happen).

I've got the same problem about appearing indifferent, but from time to time I'll express my interest to the girl and if she is responding well to this, I'm content.
I don't need to be constantly feel wanted - if you are with me and appear to be enjoying it, and we keep in touch, I would assume you want to be with me.

I think you are a fine lady! :flowerforyou:

"I'm a guys' girl which seems to make me the girl that you hang out with once in a while when you want the "girlfriend experience" without the strings" : weird, I'd want to hang out with you more than that.

Showgirlbody

Thanks guys! The pomp and circumstance of dating causes too much anxiety. I'm not immune to it but I don't want to be walking on eggshells and putting on airs for several weeks before showing my other layers. In my experience, men say they don't like drama but the chicks that text 800 x a day or make demands and use emotional (and sexual) blackmail, they have dudes tripping over them. I like to be pretty and sexy, but my sex appeal is more of a playful nature. I think candles and rose petals would make me laugh. I had a guy who thought I should be in heels and stuff just hanging out at my house watching TV. F that. I just don't want to be friend zoned forever (or FWB). But I admit that I haven't been completely head over heels where I would want to push the relationship issue. I just go with the flow, but I'm getting too old to just wait and see how stuff plays out. Gotta find the person that meshes with me. The best relationships should have a strong friend element in my opinion. Wining and dining is fun, but I'm the girl that would probably drop a cucumber down my shirt and then giggle like a schoolgirl. (To be clear, I absolutely do NOT burp, fart, scratch myself, etc in front of people--there is a line to keeping it real.) lol

catherine4211

Oh my gosh - this could have been written by me!!! We are twins!

Lizi19

I think your approach is really healthy, you seem to be really comfortable with who you are and what you want! I wish I was more like you. I do think we shouldn't have to change ourselves or play games to get somebody.

La_Amazona

I think I'm like that too, except I'm a girly girl when it comes to the way I dress but that's not for any guy. I just love dressing up and do so when I'm out alone or just with friends.

I joke, tease, get comfy with someone fast. I don't mind getting sweaty, playing, etc (except on a 1st date).

My only concern is that I'd get friend zoned because of how comfortable a guy feels with me, which happened with my last crush.

JanieJack

In my experience, men say they don't like drama but the chicks that text 800 x a day or make demands and use emotional (and sexual) blackmail, they have dudes tripping over them.

Yeah, a lot of guys say they want someone they can relax and be friends with... but somewhow they end up chasing the drama queens.

You seem really cool.

lorro

showgirl you sound totally at ease with yourself and clearly put guys at ease too. You don't need to play games to be fun, curiosity and teasing are fun too. The only thing I wondered about was the thing your ex said and your comment about want vs need. Most likely you've just not met the right guy. But just in case there's more to it, may I ask how you think you would feel if you found that you did need someone? Have you ever felt you needed someone in the past? Please ignore if it's too personal

Showgirlbody

I don't know that I need a person to complete me as I am already complete. Do I need people in my life? Absolutely. It doesn't have to be a love, though that would be nice. I just have to meet that guy. I need a support system for sure. But I don't need a man in the sense of taking care of me.

christine24t

In my experience, men say they don't like drama but the chicks that text 800 x a day or make demands and use emotional (and sexual) blackmail, they have dudes tripping over them.

Yeah, a lot of guys say they want someone they can relax and be friends with... but somewhow they end up chasing the drama queens.

You seem really cool.

I have to agree with this - guys say they want a cool girl but like the drama girls...and I think guys grow up though! You do seem like a really awesome person!

Showgirlbody

So girls, do you put on your pajamas or comfy clothes if you are watching tv at home? lol Guys would you trip out if a girl went upstairs and came down all cozy?

Hey I've told people to just wear sweats or pajamas too. If we are laying low, might as well lay low and be comfortable. If someone wants me to dress up then they should take me somewhere worth dressing up for. I don't mind.

Neigh2012

So girls, do you put on your pajamas or comfy clothes if you are watching tv at home? lol Guys would you trip out if a girl went upstairs and came down all cozy?

If I'm at home, even if a guy's over, it's my turf, I wear what I want.

JanieJack

So girls, do you put on your pajamas or comfy clothes if you are watching tv at home?

No PJs, but at my house snugly sweats rule! (they're blingy sweats from VS so maybe that doesn't count? lol!)

Rarely am I that casual in public...I dress up going to the store. Definitely not showing up in sweats at a guy's house, unless we've known each other for awhile, are just hanging out, and/or I'm open to snuggling/romance

La_Amazona

So girls, do you put on your pajamas or comfy clothes if you are watching tv at home? lol Guys would you trip out if a girl went upstairs and came down all cozy?

Hey I've told people to just wear sweats or pajamas too. If we are laying low, might as well lay low and be comfortable. If someone wants me to dress up then they should take me somewhere worth dressing up for. I don't mind.

when i've had a guy over, yes i got into pjs but they were more like shorts and a cute tee...

flimflamfloz

So girls, do you put on your pajamas or comfy clothes if you are watching tv at home? lol Guys would you trip out if a girl went upstairs and came down all cozy?

I'd prefer sexy lingerie! :laugh:

Showgirlbody

So girls, do you put on your pajamas or comfy clothes if you are watching tv at home?

No PJs, but at my house snugly sweats rule! (they're blingy sweats from VS so maybe that doesn't count? lol!)

Any kind of stretchy pant counts! I wear yoga pants. Jeans are annoying to sit and/or cuddle in.

lacroyx

I know a couple of girls that are like this and I like it alot. I'm shy to began with around the opposite sex so someone with a laid back, nothing to hide, no non-sense games is ideal for me.

Moe4572

I can't imagine the way you are is a fault.....stay true to you and the right man will come along and appreciate the "comfiness" of you

lorro

I don't know that I need a person to complete me as I am already complete. Do I need people in my life? Absolutely. It doesn't have to be a love, though that would be nice. I just have to meet that guy. I need a support system for sure. But I don't need a man in the sense of taking care of me.

Belated reply The above confirms my initial thoughts: you've just not met the right guy yet. You have the ideal mindset to form a great relationship when you do.