Butterflies - are they a necessity?

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Tropical_Turtle
Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
Here is the thing, Yes I have been seeing this guy off and on, but there are no butterfly feelings. He is a great guy, very sweet, treats me well and there is some attraction, but no butterfly giddy feelings, when I hear from him or think of him.

Is that feeling really necessary? In some ways I say YES, but last time I had butterflies, I was completely devastated when the guy left.

What do you think?
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Replies

  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    Sounds like you're compromising on some things. On another note, do you think he gets butterfly-y?
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    For me, yes, must have some intensity because if not, I'll get bored. And if there is no intensity, then it's probably more of a friend?

    The last guy I went out with I didn't have butterflies. I still saw him twice because I was attracted to him but he just didn't intrigue me. I also wasn't by the phone all stressed out waiting on him (although he communicated very well and texted/ called me). After our 2nd date (in which I had fun), I deflated pretty quick and made the choice to not see him again.

    My former crush drove me crazy and just being in the same room excited me and made me want to be around him.

    So yes, for me... I have to have butterflies or I will lose interest.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Sounds like you're compromising on some things. On another note, do you think he gets butterfly-y?

    I do not know. I have thought about asking him
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Do you think you at least have a caterpillar that might one day be a butterfly? If not, then you might be compromising too much.
  • Steelheart7
    Steelheart7 Posts: 1,056
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    Do boys get butterflies????

    Do you get excited to see him, or talk to him .. or do you smile when you see a text message from him? Can you hardly wait to see him next?

    If not .. its not fair to you or him. Put him in the friend zone.

    Sounds like you think he is safe because you aren't gaga over him?
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    butterflies get people in their tummies....
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Do boys get butterflies????
    Yeah. Well some do at least.
    I think it took me a while though, like 1 month (knowing the girl) and then a full week without seeing the girl (missing the girl) till I realised I liked her a lot, and got them at this point.
    I don't get them when constantly seeing the other person though. I think they die also after a while in a LTR.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Yes and no. Consider your level of attraction.

    I want to be in a situation where I am attracted to someone on multiple levels.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    Do boys get butterflies????

    Yes, and grown men do, too. It has only happened to me three times in my life. None of them ended well for me.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I think there are all sorts of relationships that can work. Some start off slow. Some are all intense and fizzle out. And I think that love can grow :love: Even if you do get butterflies, it's no indication that the relationship will last.

    So, I dont think its a necessity, no :flowerforyou:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    Is that feeling really necessary?

    When I meet someone and immediately there are crazy sparks and butterflies, I start to get wary. Usually these guys are exciting but not good for me. I can go into that more if you like, but in the meantime:

    What I like more is when you meet someone, are attracted and then as your relationship grows so do the butterflies. To a point, lol, because after awhile things get mundane and that's when you have to mix things up.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    It has only happened to me three times in my life. None of them ended well for me.

    :cry:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    not necessary for me. i dont think it's a good thing to feel the same way i feel when i'm having digestive trouble when i see a guy. reminding me of potential diarrhea or nausea is not sexy
  • Lizi19
    Lizi19 Posts: 180 Member
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    How long have you known him? If he meets your other criteria than I think you should give him a chance because butterflies might develop.
    I have rarely felt instant butterflies. I need to really know the person, but I do think that some butterflies at some point are needed.
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
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    I personally need the butterflies. It will keep me on my toes and keep me wanting to do the special things. I have been with a guy when I didn't have then and it only lasted 3 weeks.
  • Meghan0116
    Meghan0116 Posts: 1,340 Member
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    The butterflies are a must for me. Sometimes it is more intense than others. With my son's father, after we got together, even thinking about him would bring intense butterflies. I think in the beginning I was in lust not in love. But, that being said, even in the 6-7 year of our relationship I would get butterflies. It's when the relationship started to go south that it stopped.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I don't think the butterflies have to be there at first, but if you keep hanging out and you feel nothing exciting, then maybe you should consider moving on. But if you look at them and your stomach twists a little bit or you think about them a lot, then you should stay with them.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    A bit overrated. I think a lot of people (I observe this more so in women than men) are too quick to judge. I only really reject a woman if she does something odd or creepy in the early going. If I don't feel immensely impressed on the first date, so long as I wasn't totally turned off I will offer a 2nd date, especially if it was an online sourcing. If after 2 dates nothing, then I can move on.

    One girl told me on a 2nd date that she thought she was going to die young due to family history. That was a big turnoff.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    Do boys get butterflies????


    yes we do.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    I think butterflies are necessary ..........

    Advice I got from my stepmom....... My husband at the time was returning from a 6 mos deployment, and I said "Wow, I can't believe it.....I am nervouse and have butterflies.......! Is that weird?" and she said, "no, that is wonderful....I still have butterflies when I know I am going to see your dad after I haven't seen him for a little bit......you need to worry when the butterflies stop"