Butterflies - are they a necessity?
Tropical_Turtle
Posts: 2,236 Member
Here is the thing, Yes I have been seeing this guy off and on, but there are no butterfly feelings. He is a great guy, very sweet, treats me well and there is some attraction, but no butterfly giddy feelings, when I hear from him or think of him.
Is that feeling really necessary? In some ways I say YES, but last time I had butterflies, I was completely devastated when the guy left.
What do you think?
Is that feeling really necessary? In some ways I say YES, but last time I had butterflies, I was completely devastated when the guy left.
What do you think?
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Replies
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Sounds like you're compromising on some things. On another note, do you think he gets butterfly-y?0
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For me, yes, must have some intensity because if not, I'll get bored. And if there is no intensity, then it's probably more of a friend?
The last guy I went out with I didn't have butterflies. I still saw him twice because I was attracted to him but he just didn't intrigue me. I also wasn't by the phone all stressed out waiting on him (although he communicated very well and texted/ called me). After our 2nd date (in which I had fun), I deflated pretty quick and made the choice to not see him again.
My former crush drove me crazy and just being in the same room excited me and made me want to be around him.
So yes, for me... I have to have butterflies or I will lose interest.0 -
Sounds like you're compromising on some things. On another note, do you think he gets butterfly-y?
I do not know. I have thought about asking him0 -
Do you think you at least have a caterpillar that might one day be a butterfly? If not, then you might be compromising too much.0
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Do boys get butterflies????
Do you get excited to see him, or talk to him .. or do you smile when you see a text message from him? Can you hardly wait to see him next?
If not .. its not fair to you or him. Put him in the friend zone.
Sounds like you think he is safe because you aren't gaga over him?0 -
butterflies get people in their tummies....0
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Yeah. Well some do at least.Do boys get butterflies????
I think it took me a while though, like 1 month (knowing the girl) and then a full week without seeing the girl (missing the girl) till I realised I liked her a lot, and got them at this point.
I don't get them when constantly seeing the other person though. I think they die also after a while in a LTR.0 -
Yes and no. Consider your level of attraction.
I want to be in a situation where I am attracted to someone on multiple levels.0 -
Do boys get butterflies????
Yes, and grown men do, too. It has only happened to me three times in my life. None of them ended well for me.0 -
I think there are all sorts of relationships that can work. Some start off slow. Some are all intense and fizzle out. And I think that love can grow
Even if you do get butterflies, it's no indication that the relationship will last.
So, I dont think its a necessity, no :flowerforyou:0 -
Is that feeling really necessary?
When I meet someone and immediately there are crazy sparks and butterflies, I start to get wary. Usually these guys are exciting but not good for me. I can go into that more if you like, but in the meantime:
What I like more is when you meet someone, are attracted and then as your relationship grows so do the butterflies. To a point, lol, because after awhile things get mundane and that's when you have to mix things up.0 -
It has only happened to me three times in my life. None of them ended well for me.
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not necessary for me. i dont think it's a good thing to feel the same way i feel when i'm having digestive trouble when i see a guy. reminding me of potential diarrhea or nausea is not sexy0
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How long have you known him? If he meets your other criteria than I think you should give him a chance because butterflies might develop.
I have rarely felt instant butterflies. I need to really know the person, but I do think that some butterflies at some point are needed.0 -
I personally need the butterflies. It will keep me on my toes and keep me wanting to do the special things. I have been with a guy when I didn't have then and it only lasted 3 weeks.0
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The butterflies are a must for me. Sometimes it is more intense than others. With my son's father, after we got together, even thinking about him would bring intense butterflies. I think in the beginning I was in lust not in love. But, that being said, even in the 6-7 year of our relationship I would get butterflies. It's when the relationship started to go south that it stopped.0
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I don't think the butterflies have to be there at first, but if you keep hanging out and you feel nothing exciting, then maybe you should consider moving on. But if you look at them and your stomach twists a little bit or you think about them a lot, then you should stay with them.0
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A bit overrated. I think a lot of people (I observe this more so in women than men) are too quick to judge. I only really reject a woman if she does something odd or creepy in the early going. If I don't feel immensely impressed on the first date, so long as I wasn't totally turned off I will offer a 2nd date, especially if it was an online sourcing. If after 2 dates nothing, then I can move on.
One girl told me on a 2nd date that she thought she was going to die young due to family history. That was a big turnoff.0 -
Do boys get butterflies????
yes we do.0 -
I think butterflies are necessary ..........
Advice I got from my stepmom....... My husband at the time was returning from a 6 mos deployment, and I said "Wow, I can't believe it.....I am nervouse and have butterflies.......! Is that weird?" and she said, "no, that is wonderful....I still have butterflies when I know I am going to see your dad after I haven't seen him for a little bit......you need to worry when the butterflies stop"0 -
I still have butterflies when I know I am going to see your dad after I haven't seen him for a little bit......you need to worry when the butterflies stop"
awesome!0 -
A bit overrated. I think a lot of people (I observe this more so in women than men) are too quick to judge. I only really reject a woman if she does something odd or creepy in the early going. If I don't feel immensely impressed on the first date, so long as I wasn't totally turned off I will offer a 2nd date, especially if it was an online sourcing. If after 2 dates nothing, then I can move on.
Goes back to a previous post that more than one date when you *know* it won't go anywhere just seems like a waste of time... and money, since most guys say dating is so expensive.0 -
Do boys get butterflies?
Oh HELL YEAH!!! and then some! But I will say this, I have only felt them once in my life and that time is NOW!!!!0 -
I've got a whole mess of them at the moment, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. For me, they're absolutely a necessity.
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I married my butterfly guy and now hate the butteries with a passion!!! these butterfly feelings keep me connected to him even when he acts like a total a$s!!! I hate it. I forgive him all the time even when I know it is not sincere because of those butterflies that dance around and give me so much hope.
Honestly if those butterflies weren't there he would have to shape up or ship out and life would be so much easier too.0 -
How long have you known him? If he meets your other criteria than I think you should give him a chance because butterflies might develop.
I have rarely felt instant butterflies. I need to really know the person, but I do think that some butterflies at some point are needed.
I have been seeing the guy for almost 2 months now.0 -
If you've been seeing him for 2 months and he doesnt make your stomach jitter or smile when you get a text then maybe its time to move on.....0
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