Preferences or Boxes Checked on Profiles

Myslissa

Ok, here is the question. If you are on a singles site and you get an email from someone that has the little box checked that they someday want children, if you didnt, wouldnt you tell them instantly? Just thank them for the email and tell them that you have all the kids you want and can have and wish them luck?

pa_jorg

Personally if everything else seemed great about him then I might continue the conversation to see where it goes. But I do have a friend who still wants kids and she refuses to even look at anyone with a 'no' or 'maybe' check mark. If it's that important to you, perhaps you should write it clearly in your profile?

Carl01

I would think that is fair enough to do and if it was clear in your profile that you didn`t I would be a bit suspect of them.

Myslissa

It was kind of an odd exchange...I just told him politely that I didnt want to waste his time or expect anyone to give up having children for me. He got kind of pissy about it. I just thought I was being fair. Oh well. My match runs out in 3 days. The aggravation will be over. LOL

JanieJack

Ok, here is the question. If you are on a singles site and you get an email from someone that has the little box checked that they someday want children, if you didnt, wouldnt you tell them instantly?

Absolutely! This is a big deal, depending on your age. There's no sense in wasting his time. I've had to stop seeing guys becasue they want their own children. No thank you. I have a child, and lost too many to want to go through that again. Some guys are ok with playing the dad's role in another child's life but the ones who want kids, in my exprience most aren't.

Sometimes you tell them you don't want kids and they don't believe you... then they get mad at you later. That's on them, not you.

Meghan0116

I will date guys who say they do not want kids but it is not my main preference. I would be okay not having more children because I have D but I also want to know that the option is there. I think it is absolutely fine to be upfront with it.

AllanMisner

The wants kids button is an absolute rule. If they check yes or maybe, then I don't bother them (or when responding explain I don't think we're a match). That's not something they should be expected to compromise on. And if you think they are willing and able to, you're sadly mistaken. That tick, tick, tick doesn't satisfy itself.

christine24t

I would personally rather have someone be honest. I don't think I would date a person if they didn't want children.

Myslissa

The wants kids button is an absolute rule. If they check yes or maybe, then I don't bother them (or when responding explain I don't think we're a match). That's not something they should be expected to compromise on. And if you think they are willing and able to, you're sadly mistaken. That tick, tick, tick doesn't satisfy itself.

He sent me the email and I read his profile like I always do before I respond...his said he wanted kids....I felt it only fair to let him know that I didnt want/couldnt have anymore. He kind of got pissy so i just politely told him that I was sorry that he felt the way he did about the email and I was only trying to be fair. I wouldnt ask anyone to sacrifice that for me.