If you had an MFP crush, would you tell?
AnnaPixie
Posts: 7,439 Member
so, if you are seriously crushing on someone here, would you tell them? or would you just keep it to yourself? :bigsmile:Is it any different crushing online, to crushing IRL?
Would it be easier to tell someone who lived in another country? so, unrealistic to think you would ever get it on, but still a crush?
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It's unrealistic so I wouldn't bother. There are guys I think are cute on here and seem nice, but none of it is realistic. Unless they live by you, then maybe I would consider it.0
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It would depend on the circumstances. If I felt I could possibly make it work, I'd pursue it (not just tell, but actually ask them out).
Many of the women on this site (and all of you in the singles group) are beautiful. But that doesn't mean it would result in a relationship. That's why our minds are equipped with the ability to fantasize.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Not directly, but I'd make sure they knew.
The absence of the physical dimension makes it different, but despite this it's remarkably similar.
I have no problem flirting across international boundaries! I did once have an online crush and the guy eventually travelled from Australia to the UK to meet me. Who says love has to be sensible? :laugh:0 -
That's why our minds are equipped with the ability to fantasize.
:laugh: :laugh: very good point, but surely there aren't enough hours in a day to daydream about ALL the beautful women on here!!! You'd never get any work done!!
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I have no problem flirting across international boundaries! I did once have an online crush and the guy eventually travelled from Australia to the UK to meet me. Who says love has to be sensible? :laugh:
I like your style! :bigsmile: And was it a complete disaster? Or did sparks fly? 0 -
I have no problem flirting across international boundaries! I did once have an online crush and the guy eventually travelled from Australia to the UK to meet me. Who says love has to be sensible? :laugh:
I like your style! :bigsmile: And was it a complete disaster? Or did sparks fly?
Even better: total soulmates!! 0 -
I have no problem flirting across international boundaries! I did once have an online crush and the guy eventually travelled from Australia to the UK to meet me. Who says love has to be sensible? :laugh:
I like your style! :bigsmile: And was it a complete disaster? Or did sparks fly?
Even better: total soulmates!!
Awwww, that's brilliant!!! 0 -
Online crushes are fun because there's less to lose than anything that could happen IRL.0
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Only if there seemed to be mutual flirting and crushingness 0
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Yes I would tell him
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I don't tell anyone if I like them, so no...guess not0
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I wouldn't tell him I was interested unless he pursued. Whether IRL or online.
Flirt, sure, because we have some great personality/great looking guys on here.... But would I say, "I like you" or "I'm interested" no...I work around too many men who flirt just to make the time pass... so it's fun but it means nothing to them unless the guy takes it up a notch... I kinda figure if a guy was interested in more than just fun-n-games he'd ask me out or take things off-forum.0 -
I'm a big believer in anything can happen and honestly, what's the harm in trying?
Just keep your credit card number to yourself 0 -
I'd probably tell them if they were in the same country/region. Otherwise... Seems like a lost cause so I wouldn't.0
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:Even if it's not remotely possible to persue a relationship, I think a person would appreciate hearing someone else tell you they find you attractive. It does wonders to one's self-confidence. what if they are having a bad day/week/month? This could mean a world of difference to someone. Of course keeping in mind that this is done tactfully and not with a creepy/stalker like vibe.
As for me? Now now, I don't click and tell.........errr kiss and tell....... :blushing:
maybe someday.0 -
I kinda figure if a guy was interested in more than just fun-n-games he'd ask me out or take things off-forum.
He might be shy!! Or lacking in confidence!! He might think you're out of his league and he'd never have a chance!!! :flowerforyou:
I know you think that guys should always make the first move, but what if you did............... Seems to me there could be a number of crushes going on online AND IRL but if the girl doesnt make it clear, the guy thinks it won't happen...........one of my bestest friends husband said to me if she hadn't made the move they wouldnt be together cos he's never asked a girl out in his life!! And they have one of the best marriages I know...........
Hmmmm thoughts?0 -
:Even if it's not remotely possible to persue a relationship, I think a person would appreciate hearing someone else tell you they find you attractive. It does wonders to one's self-confidence. what if they are having a bad day/week/month? This could mean a world of difference to someone. Of course keeping in mind that this is done tactfully and not with a creepy/stalker like vibe.
I agree!! When a guy on here said he had a crush on me, even though it would never turn into anything, even though I never crushed back, I still felt flattered :smooched:
Come on people, make someone's day!!! haha! :bigsmile:0 -
I kinda figure if a guy was interested in more than just fun-n-games he'd ask me out or take things off-forum.
He might be shy!! Or lacking in confidence!! He might think you're out of his league and he'd never have a chance!!! :flowerforyou:
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Hmmmm thoughts?
I know this will make me sound like a jerk, but if a guy is that lacking in confidence, he is not ready for me yet. If it's meant to be, I'll still be single when he's ready. I am a strong woman and I need a guy who can hang. I dated a few guys when I first got single where I felt like I was making all the moves, but now after dating guys who took the initiative I just can't go back to that. It just "feels" better to be pursued. I feel more, uh, romantic
Also, I want someone who can be open and honest with me about what he wants/doesn't want, likes/doesn't like. Where his red-lines are. When he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Give me an apology when I'm right but he didn't listen. If a guy is too shy, or too lacking in confidence, he is less likely to address issues with you.
A guy friend asked me for advice about an issue that has been bothering him about his girlfriend for the last year (they've been together 2). I asked him what she said when he told her how he felt, and he said "I can't tell her that!" I told him that not only did she need to know how he felt about it, she needed to know how strongly he felt about it, as I'd never seen him so animated and angry about an issue. That was a couple months ago, and he still hasn't talked to her about it. I know this guy. And what's going to happen is in a year or two he's gonna dump her and look for someone "easier to live with" when if he would just open up his mouth it could be something she could fix. I don't wanna be that girl.
I've been pretty vocal about telling a guy I'm not interested once I realize it won't work and he wants more, but I've also been quite vocal about giving anyone a chance who asks 0 -
ITA (I totally agree) but.... to me there's a huge difference between saying someone's attractive and saying you're interested romantically. We have a lot of good looking men in MFP, and when an opportunity arises to say so without being creeper or appearing to pursue, I send them a message to encourage them.Even if it's not remotely possible to persue a relationship, I think a person would appreciate hearing someone else tell you they find you attractive.0 -
I kinda figure if a guy was interested in more than just fun-n-games he'd ask me out or take things off-forum.
He might be shy!! Or lacking in confidence!! He might think you're out of his league and he'd never have a chance!!! :flowerforyou:
.........
Hmmmm thoughts?
I know this will make me sound like a jerk, but if a guy is that lacking in confidence, he is not ready for me yet. If it's meant to be, I'll still be single when he's ready. I am a strong woman and I need a guy who can hang. I dated a few guys when I first got single where I felt like I was making all the moves, but now after dating guys who took the initiative I just can't go back to that. It just "feels" better to be pursued. I feel more, uh, romantic
Also, I want someone who can be open and honest with me about what he wants/doesn't want, likes/doesn't like. Where his red-lines are. When he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Give me an apology when I'm right but he didn't listen. If a guy is too shy, or too lacking in confidence, he is less likely to address issues with you.
A guy friend asked me for advice about an issue that has been bothering him about his girlfriend for the last year (they've been together 2). I asked him what she said when he told her how he felt, and he said "I can't tell her that!" I told him that not only did she need to know how he felt about it, she needed to know how strongly he felt about it, as I'd never seen him so animated and angry about an issue. That was a couple months ago, and he still hasn't talked to her about it. I know this guy. And what's going to happen is in a year or two he's gonna dump her and look for someone "easier to live with" when if he would just open up his mouth it could be something she could fix. I don't wanna be that girl.
I've been pretty vocal about telling a guy I'm not interested once I realize it won't work and he wants more, but I've also been quite vocal about giving anyone a chance who asks
You dont sound like a jerk, and I totally get your point. I am also a strong woman and love good communication. HOWEVER, the married couple I was referring to earlier? The reason I think they in such a good marriage is because they tell each other everything. And he is a VERY strong character. Also, my ex boyfriends was the most gregarious person I know, but he would never ask a girl out!! With me, he just joked around and we kinda got together by accident, in a drunk way :laugh:
Soooooooo, my point is, just because a guy is unable to make the first move, doesnt mean he's shy or emotionally retarded or lacking in intimacy skills. It's just that first move - it's a very daunting thing!!
Perhaps its me, but if I get chatted up immediately in a pub by a very outgoing guy, I kinda think he must do this every day to every woman that is remotely attractive..............think I said in another thread, men can't win....:laugh:0 -
I would! And already have 0
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There is one girl I randomly spotted while replying to a thread, and she is my type (physically at least) so I click on her profile and see she lives near London :sick: .
Never told her she's a crush, never even talked to her actually! :blushing: :laugh:0 -
There is one girl I randomly spotted while replying to a thread, and she is my type (physically at least) so I click on her profile and see she lives near London :sick: .
Never told her she's a crush, never even talked to her actually! :blushing: :laugh:
OMG you could have at least sent her a FR !!! :laugh: Now you're crushing on someone that might be married or.........gay or something!!.....what's her name? I will find out for you :bigsmile: ....... 0 -
I'd probably tell them if they were in the same country/region. Otherwise... Seems like a lost cause so I wouldn't.
I looked at it the other way. I told BECAUSE it was so absolutely unreasonable and impossible.
No possibility, no harm.0 -
Tell them! You would be amazed at what might happen!0
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Nope. That's something I wouldn't do IRL either. The one time I did make the first move I ended up with a guy for 5 years -- 3 years too many. I've learned from that mistake.0
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I would tell, whether its on here or in real life!! I usually have a very good sense of when I am wasteing my time or getting positive vibes back, so when I get to the telling point, I am pretty confident I know I will be responded to well.....has failed me occassionally though.0
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I met my XH online so I wouldn't rule it out. But I think there would have to be some sign that he knew I existed before I would throw myself out there. You never know where you will meet someone great.0
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I would tell - as I would IRL - distance is just a pretext imho
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Only if there seemed to be mutual flirting and crushingness
^This0
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