Internet Dating Websites...DONE!

kristen49233

So I met a man through a dating website about a month ago and thought everything was going great. We really seemed to hit it off...great chemisty and I really enjoyed spending time with him. About a week after we first met I noticed his account was no longer active on the site and I asked him why. He said that he was tired of internet dating and that since we met he decided to DELETE his account. I went ahead and disabled mine.

Well this morning I woke from a deep sleep and something told me to check the website. Sure as the world I logged on for the first time since I disabled it and there he was...logged in. Are you kidding me? So tired of the internet dating games. I really liked this guy too...but dishonesty is a huge red flag for me.

I have to say that I love/hate my intuitive side...there has been several occassions that I have had a hunch about something and it's turned out correct.

My account is now deleted on that website...

Thanks for letting me vent.

Gary1977

Lots of websites alert you be email if someone sends you a message or views your profile. It's human nature to check out who/why. I guess he could say the same if he knew you logged on. If you like him, at least ask him if he's been on there lately. I'd even go as far & tell him why. Too many people say that don't want to play games, but they sure go along when its convenient for them. You could be 100% correct...but sometimes ones intuition can be wrong.:flowerforyou:

meshashesha2012

sorry that happened but you can just as easily meet a game player offline as online.

and i agree with gary, if you like him and thought there was a future then you should at least ask him about it. you never know HE might have had an idea that YOU had reactivated your account and was there to check.

AnnaPixie

^^^ this!!! there could be an easy explanation!!

Also, when I disabled my profile from match.com it went back online WITHOUT my permission!! The only reason I know this is because I met a guy off there, became very good friends with him, and he noticed it! I literally had to go back and delete it. And to this day I don't know how it happened. So, I dont trust what these sites do with your profile once you delete or disable them!!

Give the fella a chance and ask him straight! :flowerforyou:

lacroyx

I'd give the guy a chance to explain himself before completely writing him off.

scapez

I've had the same thing happen to me in the past. One guy I had been dating specifically TOLD me he wouldn't be online since we were dating but I had that same feeling/hunch, so I went looking and lo and behold, there he was.

I DID ask him, he gave me a story about the account reappearing. I didn't believe him but I wanted to...so...

This happened 2 more times before I finally dumped his azz.

In my experience guys that have profiles never seems to want to let go of the online search!

pa_jorg

You said you met him a month ago, so how much time have you actually spent together? That might clue you in too.

DMZ_1

Yes, I think there needs to be a candid conversation right about now.

Online dating has a lot of pitfalls. There are always a lot of choices out there for both sexes, and there's always the temptation to check out what's out there. It's so easy, you can be unshaven, sitting in your pajamas, writing sweet nothings to people with good looking pictures.

The best method is to meet people through people that you know, this way it is more likely that your mutual acquaintances have done some of the vetting, making it less likely for their to be surprises like this. I think there is more potential for game playing in the online methodology than through the six degree of separation style of developing a relationship.

La_Amazona

Yes, I think there needs to be a candid conversation right about now.

Online dating has a lot of pitfalls. There are always a lot of choices out there for both sexes, and there's always the temptation to check out what's out there. It's so easy, you can be unshaven, sitting in your pajamas, writing sweet nothings to people with good looking pictures.

The best method is to meet people through people that you know, this way it is more likely that your mutual acquaintances have done some of the vetting, making it less likely for their to be surprises like this. I think there is more potential for game playing in the online methodology than through the six degree of separation style of developing a relationship.

Completely agree.

I'm giving the whole online dating thing a break. Again.

I started talking to this guy J. He was handsome, tall, smart, had a good job etc etc. He called, texted, etc. After about 3-4 days I was anxious to meet him because we seemed to have great chemistry online and phone but that means nothing when you haven't actually met. He wouldn't ask. Finally I asked him to join me to a free outdoor concert I went to a couple of weeks ago. He said he was tired and in a funk. That was it. By then we had been talking about over a week. Later that night he texted saying he wished he would have come. Yeah well goodbye. I haven't spoken to him again and I won't.
Oh but I surely would see him online quite frequently! Eh.

So yeah. Sorry for your frustration. I'm just going to go the normal way and meet guys while out. It's a bit harder because you don't get 2-3 dates a week like you can using online dating sites (well I don't anyway) but so far so good.

Oh and I am with everybody else, ask him about it.

JanieJack

I've had this happen too...

A friend of mine had this happen where she noticed the guy was online. He kept insisting he wasn't, so she created a fake profile and he immediately started flirting and emailing the fake her.

That's why I never believe it when guys say they are deactivating their profile. I've had some tell me that their profile just "automatically" came back on, but even if that happens, the system doesn't come on and chat for you or send emails.

One guy friend of mine said that he didn't deactivate his because he couldn't remember his password and was too lazy to try and figure it out or go through the retrieval process. To keep his girlfriend happy, he set up an autodelete so he never received their emails.

Natx83

Internet dating has its pro's and con's. One of the reasons that are both is you can hide behind your computer. If you are nervous/unsure about dating/getting to know someone, its great. You can get through the earlier sometimes awkward stage online. But on the other hand, it gives a greater oppurtunity to the not so honest people to scheme their way through it all. Saying one thing and doing another, with feeling little or no guilt hiding behind their computers.

I have met some lovely girls online, a lot of them would prob say the same about me. Still single though ... go figure! Its all timing! Girls are just as bad as this guys are on here, you just have to take it with a grain of salt and get back into it. I've been doing it on and off for a few years. Have met some great girls as I said before that I am still friends with now.

I say trust your hunch at this stage. I deleted my account when someone I was seeing did the same. Wish I hadnt. She turned out to be a b*tch and was never openly honest... who knwos what she was thinking!

kristen49233

Thanks for the replies! We did talk yesterday. He said he went back online to delete his account--that he had only disabled it before. I'm not sure what to believe? But I don't want to write him off without knowing for sure...I really like this guy.

We have spent quite a bit of time together and he always seems geniune when we're together but then again, based on my last relationship I don't seem to have a knack for judging someone's character.

I like the ideas to create a fake profile...that's always an option if I still have my doubts. Definately going to step away from internet dating if this one doesn't work.