Go on date, or just forget it?
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krissypea79
Posts: 362 Member
So about 2 weeks ago I met a guy on match. He was the "singled out just for you!" guy, hehe. Anyways, he looked handsome, and his profile was well-written, however not a ton in common, seemingly (he comes across a little self-centered, little bit of a workaholic, although there is nothing wrong with ambition, I like that), not to mention he mentions hating country music - dealbreaker? (I'm a hardcore country music fan), So...we exchange a couple of emails and texts (he doesn't say much, really. texts like "How r u" with not much of a reponse when I ask how he is - "busy and stressed"). I'm the kind of texter who uses emoticons, exclamation points, etc. to show excitement, etc, but I realize not everyone (especially not guys) is like that, which is fine.
We set a date for last Friday (it took him two days to figure out that Friday would work). Thursday night, he says he's really sorry but he's had a super busy week and has to postpone, asking me if I'm free Saturday (I was going out of town). I said no, but that some time this week would be fine. He apologized again and said he was looking forward to it still and thanked me for understanding. I texted him quick over the weekend just to say hi. He replied back "Hey...have fun!" That was Saturday....I hadn't texted him, and he hadn't texted, until just now when he says "Hey." I don't know. He isn't much of a conversationalist thus far, I don't feel any real connection, like I HAVE to meet this person...and he hasn't exactly been chompin' at the bit to meet me, either. I'm a little concerned that he's so busy that it's taken us 2 weeks to plan something. I guess I'm used to knowing a bit more about someone before we go on a date. I guess I'm wondering if I should go and see how it goes or just write it off that I just don't feel like we have enough of a connection. What would you guys do? Should I go? I guess I am just used to guys being more excited and wanting to communicate a bit more. While I do appreciate a guy with a good job, it is slightly alarming that he's always mentioning how busy and stressed he is. I don't even know what he does...all I really know is his age, first name, and height (and that he hates country music lol).
We set a date for last Friday (it took him two days to figure out that Friday would work). Thursday night, he says he's really sorry but he's had a super busy week and has to postpone, asking me if I'm free Saturday (I was going out of town). I said no, but that some time this week would be fine. He apologized again and said he was looking forward to it still and thanked me for understanding. I texted him quick over the weekend just to say hi. He replied back "Hey...have fun!" That was Saturday....I hadn't texted him, and he hadn't texted, until just now when he says "Hey." I don't know. He isn't much of a conversationalist thus far, I don't feel any real connection, like I HAVE to meet this person...and he hasn't exactly been chompin' at the bit to meet me, either. I'm a little concerned that he's so busy that it's taken us 2 weeks to plan something. I guess I'm used to knowing a bit more about someone before we go on a date. I guess I'm wondering if I should go and see how it goes or just write it off that I just don't feel like we have enough of a connection. What would you guys do? Should I go? I guess I am just used to guys being more excited and wanting to communicate a bit more. While I do appreciate a guy with a good job, it is slightly alarming that he's always mentioning how busy and stressed he is. I don't even know what he does...all I really know is his age, first name, and height (and that he hates country music lol).
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I would just go for it! Sometimes things don't work out. You don't know how many times I've thought someone was mad or angry over text, and then I see them and they're fine and happy when I see them. Texting doesn't reveal a whole lot about a person. The fact that he is texting you shows that is thinking about you, and I think just because he doesn't respond too detailed doesn't mean anything.
Some people use technology well and others don't. I wouldn't write him off just yet! Just my two cents.0 -
I say forget it. I've been on too many dates with guys that sound what you described, and it was a waste of time. He doesn't seem super interested because he's not dying to go out with you. Nobody is too busy or stressed to plan a few hours out with a cute girl. And if he truly is, he shouldn't be on a dating site. If it were me, I'd just ignore his texts and keep looking.0
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I say go, why not? Some people really are terrible over the phone/ text (me for example, it takes me an hour to reply back to a text).0
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Go for it.....some people are just not good at texting....give him a chance
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So about 2 weeks ago I met a guy on match. He was the "singled out just for you!" guy, hehe. Anyways, he looked handsome, and his profile was well-written, however not a ton in common, seemingly (he comes across a little self-centered, little bit of a workaholic, although there is nothing wrong with ambition, I like that), not to mention he mentions hating country music - dealbreaker? (I'm a hardcore country music fan), So...we exchange a couple of emails and texts (he doesn't say much, really. texts like "How r u" with not much of a reponse when I ask how he is - "busy and stressed"). I'm the kind of texter who uses emoticons, exclamation points, etc. to show excitement, etc, but I realize not everyone (especially not guys) is like that, which is fine.
We set a date for last Friday (it took him two days to figure out that Friday would work). Thursday night, he says he's really sorry but he's had a super busy week and has to postpone, asking me if I'm free Saturday (I was going out of town). I said no, but that some time this week would be fine. He apologized again and said he was looking forward to it still and thanked me for understanding. I texted him quick over the weekend just to say hi. He replied back "Hey...have fun!" That was Saturday....I hadn't texted him, and he hadn't texted, until just now when he says "Hey." I don't know. He isn't much of a conversationalist thus far, I don't feel any real connection, like I HAVE to meet this person...and he hasn't exactly been chompin' at the bit to meet me, either. I'm a little concerned that he's so busy that it's taken us 2 weeks to plan something. I guess I'm used to knowing a bit more about someone before we go on a date. I guess I'm wondering if I should go and see how it goes or just write it off that I just don't feel like we have enough of a connection. What would you guys do? Should I go? I guess I am just used to guys being more excited and wanting to communicate a bit more. While I do appreciate a guy with a good job, it is slightly alarming that he's always mentioning how busy and stressed he is. I don't even know what he does...all I really know is his age, first name, and height (and that he hates country music lol).
I've had this type of guy contact me a few times off dating sites. The workaholic! They aren't available for what I want out of a potential relationship, so I move on. I'm sure he is a very nice guy and works hard and would be a great provider, but my idea of a guy is someone 'available' to share life with/have fun with, so.........not my type.
Your call honey :flowerforyou:0 -
I guess I would give it a go if he wants to but my spidey sense is telling me not to put much long term thought into it unless he proves well worth it.
He already has ground to make up.
It is possible he is trying to be aloof so as not to appear clingly but hell,short of being in the CIA and on a mission to save the world what better way to forget about a busy or stressful week then with a date?
That he retreated into his private world (assuming he wasn`t flat out lying) is a red flag.0 -
Forget it, he's rude, self-centered and probably not worth your time. If a guy wants to be with a woman, he makes it happen.
Think about you. If you want to be a with a guy, you make it happen. You don't last minute cancel, you show up and you look hot. The same type of thoughts go around a guy's head when he wants a woman.
I've seen times where women are hard to schedule with due to work. Usually it is not worth going on the date with them. If they can't make time early on when they are on best behavior, what's going to happen later on?
There are one or two explanations for this...
1. This person isn't into you, and is more into someone else.
2. This person hasn't made making time for a relationship a priority.
You don't want either one.0 -
I wouldn't bother. Already it sounds like a chore. But if you are curious about him in any way, then go for it 0
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There are one or two explanations for this...
1. This person isn't into you, and is more into someone else.
2. This person hasn't made making time for a relationship a priority.
You don't want either one.
Ohhhh boy - if he isn't interested in me before he's even met me, I've got bigger problems than I thought!! hehehe :laugh: He's the one who "winked," AND initiated the date...but hey, it happens I suppose.
Although his "Hey" tonight would lead me to believe he still does want to go on the date....but his lack of enthusiasm has definitely made me question whether or not I want to now. Last week he did say how excited he was to meet me...but his actions and words are not adding up. I think he is one of those "too busy" guys, as someone else mentioned. If he's too busy to set up a quick date, what will it be like to be in a relationship with this person? I just don't know. I don't want to miss an opportunity, but at the same time, this isn't exactly how I envision my relationship starting...although it could be one of those "funny stories about how we met" down the road. Grrr who knows!0 -
Dunno.0
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How did you like my answer?
Ok, on to a more elaborate answer now: I think there should be a reasonable effort made from both parts.
If a girl winks me and her profile is empty (says nothing about her) I don't reply.
If girl doesn't talk much (and if there isn't any plan to see each other), then I just leave it at that.
I like a good conversation especially when two people participate.0 -
his actions and words are not adding up.
Actions and words must match in order for things to work.0 -
How did you like my answer?
Ok, on to a more elaborate answer now: I think there should be a reasonable effort made from both parts.
If a girl winks me and her profile is empty (says nothing about her) I don't reply.
If girl doesn't talk much (and if there isn't any plan to see each other), then I just leave it at that.
I like a good conversation especially when two people participate.
Agreed. I know that spending hours on the phone and texting all day before meeting is not the best approach, but I prefer SOME getting to know each other leading up to the date. He didn't even ask me what type of place I'd like to go for our date. The day he seemed most talkative text-wise, was last Saturday...which was St.Paddy's day, and I get the feeling that drinks had to do with this level of conversation, lol. I am a talker, and when I'm interested in meeting someone, I keep in touch. Perhaps he is playing the "I don't want to be clingy" game, but that's not necessary before meeting. I want the guy to show SOME level of enthusiasm about meeting me!
Hehe....not that I know you that well, but your first answer had me a little stumped...I've seen you be much more opinionated than that!
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Dunno.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
yep! definitely drunk :laugh:0 -
I know, it was just a trickHehe....not that I know you that well, but your first answer had me a little stumped...I've seen you be much more opinionated than that!
for you to realise that it's nice when someone actually *care* about making some effort.
I have probably typed more words than your dude now! :laugh:0 -
id say forget it. these are not the actions of a guy wanting to meet you, but more so of someone who's potentially saving you as a back up.0
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I say forget it. Don't waste your time on some guy who can't keep his word. If he can't give you a bit of his time... really? Most people our age even the men who don't like texting will then actually pick up the phone to speak to you. There are others ways to communicate if he doesn't like texting. I agree he seems to want a backup. Move on with your country boots!!! :flowerforyou:0
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If a guy wants to be with a woman - he would move mountains to make it happen! If this guy is not doing that, then I would say thank you for your time, but no thanks, and move on.
You dont need to waste your time wading in every tidepool0 -
If a guy wants to be with a woman - he would move mountains to make it happen! If this guy is not doing that, then I would say thank you for your time, but no thanks, and move on.
You dont need to waste your time wading in every tidepool
I tend to agree - he isn't in any hurry to meet me or to get to know more about me...and you'd think he'd be concerned that I am going out on dates with other guys...which I haven't in the past two weeks, but I am about to start again!! 0 -
I didn't read all the posts on here. . so maybe it's been said. . but I say . . Kick him to the curb!
I was on match. In my opinion, you read a persons entire profile. . you learn a little about them. .you find something that clicks. . you write them about it. .and HOPE they reply. The fact that you got to texting phase with this guy without any real communication makes me figure he's a hottie and so isn't used to having to work very hard. . he figures you'll be there. . .waiting. . when he's ready for you. .
Looking at your pics. . You are a hottie yourself. .so don't let some dipsh*t make you think so hard.. When I contacted someone on match. . it was because I was interested. not because maybe I might think about someday letting her go out with me. . .that's what this douche sounds like to me. .
just sayin!0
