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When guys are TOO nice..

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  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member
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    I hear the best way to trick people is with backhanded compliment.
    something like:
    Oh, that dress looks nice, I think it looked better on Jennifer Gardner, but hey it's a nice dress.

    I compliment my friends when they appear to be having a bad day.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    hmmmm @LA I think you lost me on this one. I like compliments and try to give one to someone male/female at least everyday. Now the one compliment that makes me laugh is when I do Kareoke and someone wants to tell me I have a nice singing voice. LOL I know I cant sing but otherwise take the compliments as it was intended
  • NeedANewFocus
    NeedANewFocus Posts: 898 Member
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    ...this guy ..is very expressive...i love it and feel like there is something wrong if he isnt. Lol. I swear men can't win.

    ^^ Why does there have to be an "and"? Why not just stop the statement with....."I love it!"
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    So I took everybody's advice and this guy I'm going out with tonight texted me this morning about how he's excited to meet me. Instead of rolling my eyes and just dismissing him I said "We are going to have fun!". Better right??

    Now the fun part.... what to wear what to wear!?!?
  • Vodkha
    Vodkha Posts: 352 Member
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    That was better.

    I was actually going to post a topic regarding this. I just met a guy who is VERY nice to me. I'm not sure why I don't really like this.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I don't mind them being nice, but when I get the feeling they're oversensitive, I'm going to run away. I have a tissue paper thin filter between my mouth and my brain. I generally will say whatever I'm thinking, and if that is going to hurt someone's feelings I really don't want to be around him. I'm not usually mean, either, just blunt and sometimes I say things the wrong way because I don't stop to think how what I'm saying sounds to someone who doesn't know the intention behind it. And I always feel so guilty if I say something and then get that hurt puppydog look. No thanks. A man has to have a bit of a thick skin or he's not welcome in my life.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Too many complements make me uneasy. I don't know if when guys tell me that I am pretty or that I look good I always think they are just saying that to get in my pants. I think this really comes from being over weight for so much of my life that it is just recently guys are saying this to me. It puts me on edge if they keep pushing the matter. I try and just say thanks and switch the subject.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Too many complements make me uneasy. I don't know if when guys tell me that I am pretty or that I look good I always think they are just saying that to get in my pants.

    Exactly.
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 707 Member
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    Too many complements make me uneasy. I don't know if when guys tell me that I am pretty or that I look good I always think they are just saying that to get in my pants.

    Exactly.

    I feel that if i want to get in your pants you'll know it I'm pretty straight forward that way but complements are just that complements someone sees something nice they let you know but then a lot of people who aren't used to getting them I can understand how it might make someone feel uneasy. The best thing I would think is just learn how to take and even give out some once in a while. If your improving yourself and getting back in shape then its most likely you will get more complements than your used to.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    For me also, I've been out of the dating game for over 11 years. I was 20 years old the last time I was single... so most of the time, the guys WERE trying to just get in my pants. Now I'm 32 and am dating men from 29-40 somethings so hopefully they've matured a bit since then. :wink:
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    For me also, I've been out of the dating game for over 11 years. I was 20 years old the last time I was single... so most of the time, the guys WERE trying to just get in my pants. Now I'm 32 and am dating men from 29-40 somethings so hopefully they've matured a bit since then. :wink:

    That would be a no. We don't mature past 21.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    For me also, I've been out of the dating game for over 11 years. I was 20 years old the last time I was single... so most of the time, the guys WERE trying to just get in my pants. Now I'm 32 and am dating men from 29-40 somethings so hopefully they've matured a bit since then. :wink:

    That would be a no. We don't mature past 21.

    He's telling the truth.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    For me also, I've been out of the dating game for over 11 years. I was 20 years old the last time I was single... so most of the time, the guys WERE trying to just get in my pants. Now I'm 32 and am dating men from 29-40 somethings so hopefully they've matured a bit since then. :wink:

    That would be a no. We don't mature past 21.

    :brokenheart:
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 707 Member
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    lol we like to pretend tho ... but then again we also like to pretend that we are superheros
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    hmmmm @LA I think you lost me on this one. I like compliments and try to give one to someone male/female at least everyday.

    ^^^this!!

    The other end of the scale is the guy that never compliments and tries to put you down all the time :noway: I know which I prefer!! :flowerforyou: I always think that a person that is free with compliments is open, emotionally expressive and happy in themselves. I guess it could be BS but so what? I'm all for making people feel good, not bad, about themselves. You'll soon figure out if its BS anyhow.......good luck :flowerforyou:
  • LFiestan
    LFiestan Posts: 176 Member
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    Too many complements make me uneasy. I don't know if when guys tell me that I am pretty or that I look good I always think they are just saying that to get in my pants. I think this really comes from being over weight for so much of my life that it is just recently guys are saying this to me. It puts me on edge if they keep pushing the matter. I try and just say thanks and switch the subject.

    i can relate to that. you just said everything i wanted to say ahahahha. I havent lost that much weight yet but when guys start complimenting me (to the point where it gets annoying) i start thinking that they are after something. Anyway we do have to trust our instincts and i guess its a different matter if we like the guy too :P
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    Wow. We just can't win lol. I will give out compliments and I'm not shy to do so. Most of the time it's well received. One girl, wasn't used to it but from what she had told me about her exes, they were pretty much complete *kitten*. When I'm with a girl, I will prob at least tell call her gorgeous/beautiful as pet name sort of things. I'm not afraid to say how I feel either. If I like or love you I will tell you.

    In the end, I guess you girls are right, we as guys do want to sleep with you. That's the end result physically of dating I guess. But that doesn't mean whatsoever that a guy is only giving you a compliment to try and get in your pants... If its at a bar that's prob all he wants. If your a couple of weeks into dating and he gives you a compliment, take it. Thank the poor *kitten*, he's probably been dying to tell you since he first saw you :blushing:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Wow. We just can't win lol. I will give out compliments and I'm not shy to do so. Most of the time it's well received. One girl, wasn't used to it but from what she had told me about her exes, they were pretty much complete *kitten*. When I'm with a girl, I will prob at least tell call her gorgeous/beautiful as pet name sort of things. I'm not afraid to say how I feel either. If I like or love you I will tell you.

    In the end, I guess you girls are right, we as guys do want to sleep with you. That's the end result physically of dating I guess. But that doesn't mean whatsoever that a guy is only giving you a compliment to try and get in your pants... If its at a bar that's prob all he wants. If your a couple of weeks into dating and he gives you a compliment, take it. Thank the poor *kitten*, he's probably been dying to tell you since he first saw you :blushing:

    Love your thoughts, very honest, and true :flowerforyou:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Serious question and would like an honest answer...

    Do you ladies realize that this tendency to over analyze or to read things into something that is not there is a self destructive habit and if so do you try to not do it?

    Really,maybe a guy is saying you look nice because he thinks you look nice,I do that with no expectations or desire to get in a ladys pants.

    Yes, we realise. But we are just wired that way!! :laugh:

    Not all men are like you Carl. Some men would even say 'I love you' to get sex!! Sad, but true :ohwell: Hence we over analyze to try and figure what type of guy we're dealing with. Pointless process though, as you say, as we can't really tell ...........but hey, women love to talk, so............

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