In contact with ex...

sdrawkcabynot

Anyone else trying to do the friendship with an ex that you have no sexual feelings for but they obviously cannot let it go?

Ex that constantly checks in on you to see how you are doing... and even though only together for a few months - found a way to weave in with your friends, so it seems like they always have some sort of tabs on you...

I think the 'nice guy' thing is about to expire. Anyone else gone through this?

La_Amazona

No, but if you want her to move on in this type of situation you're going to have to go No Contact, meaning you ignore and not feed into it. It's harsh but that's the only way she's going to get it.

Your "nice guy" might be translating completely different to her.

catherine4211

Yep. I put myself in her shoes and if i saw you being "nice" to me in the back of my mind I'd being thinking "he must still want me"...

Quasita

Well, I've dealt with that and I've been that person too. After a couple months, he should be pretty chill about it. If it was a few years, it's a little different.

I mean, can you blame'em? Your picture is pure sex and you're fantabulous! but I say, if you aren't interested, you don't respond.

Personally, when I say "let's be friends" I mostly mean, let's be civil and if I see you in public, I will be nice... Not let's keep hanging out. Maybe clearer boundaries need to be set.

Good luck gorgeous!

pa_jorg

How nice is nice on your part?

My ex and I had a very long and complicated ending to our relationship and there were many occasions where nice meant sleepovers, etc... In his mind I think he thought he was being a good guy and comforting me, but in reality we were just prolonging the final break.

oddyogi

Yep. She needs some sort of closure.

sdrawkcabynot

nice guy for me is being civil in person and telling them exactly how i feel about the situation without cursing or letting my temper get heated.

ItsCasey

Completely cut off contact. Block her from social media accounts, and don't respond to e-mails, texts, or phone calls. Change your phone number if you have to. I know it's a pain, but is it as much of a pain as dealing with her? Also, politely mention to your friends that if they want to continue hanging out with her, you'd prefer they not talk to her about you.

Maybe someday the two of you could be real friends, but as long as she is still hung up on you, it's not going to happen. You'd be doing both of yourselves a favor by ending all communication with her for the time being. How she handles that in the short-term is not your problem.

I would also advise that if you hope to be in a new relationship any time in the near future, you nip this in the bud ASAP. I speak from personal experience when I say that remaining in contact with a clingy ex will look like one of two things to any woman you get involved with: either you don't have the balls to put a stop to it or you're still into her.

mrmanmeat

Yep. I put myself in her shoes and if i saw you being "nice" to me in the back of my mind I'd being thinking "he must still want me"...

"If a guy wants to date you, he'll make it known"

Greatest movie ever.

melg126

It's hard to do but if you don't want her to get the wrong impression that there is still opportunity there then you need to cut her off. If she still cares for you she will think she can get back in your life somehow... and think how it would be if you meet a new woman... you don't want that hanging over a new relationship.

mznisaelaine

I posted a thread not long ago about this. I tried to be civil with my ex at first but he completely just continue to beg me to get back with him, he gets mad, etc. It was very stressful!