Coming Out Stories

Quasita

Sometimes, we find our strength in the most crucial moment of our gender identity lives... That first time we bring the secret into the light. What is your coming out story? If you've yet to write it, what holds you back? Do you have any advice for those contemplating this monumental decision?

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DietingMommy08

My coming out story isnt really too much of a story.

I was 21 and was joing the California Conservation Corp.
The first week was basically like basic training... Non stop exercise and getting us ready for the big job.
Its what they call "comet"
Anyways during comet you have what we call "comet leaders" its 2-3 people who are about your age and they train you and exercise your *kitten* off for that week. Lol.
Anyways I had this one trainer, her name was jessica... Shes a stud.
I couldnt stop staring at her... I couldnt stop wanting to talk to her....
Ive never been attracted to girls like that before so it was kinda weird to me thought I didnt think much of it.
It was my roommate who stated the obvious "you like her" and of course first off I denied it "NO i dont! Lol" & then I had to really sit there and say "omg I do...."
She remained my comet leader for the rest of that week. It took me until the last day for me to finally ask her for her number.
We didnt really talk much for the week after that, work kept us quite busy.
The next week she was due back to be comet leader yet again...
This time her best friend was tagging along with her and me and him go to talking about her and I finally let my feelings out.
Talking between the 2 of us he kinda set us up.
One night while talking in the hallway we just kissed, then we spent that weekend together and she did comet training a few more times just to spend time with me.

We only lasted 3 mos but it was the most happiest 3 mos ive had in a very long time.
I learned a lot about myself during that time.

As for my family... I never had to tell them... My mom seen us hanging out with her best friend and his girlfriend... We wasnt even touching or anything but my mom called me up the next day and asked "is that your girlfriend?" I of course said yes and she never had any doubts or issues with it. My dad never did either. I had it quite easy coming out. All my friends could say was "we knew it!" all I could say was "if you knew then why didnt you tell me?" lol.

Anyways thats a freakin book I just wrote... but its my coming out story. )

caroleslaststand

I don't have a coming out story, really. In my family we are what we call "late bloomers" - but that's another story for another time. I'm older than most of you (maybe all of you). I've spent most of my life hiding my queerness and never quite figuring it out. I went through a phase near the end of my marriage where I assumed that I was a lesbian, because my attraction to women had become overwhelming. However, I still had a healthy sex life and enjoyed it - that was never an issue in my marriage or divorce. I finally figured it out when I hit my 50's (better late than nevah) and gradually stopped worrying about whether or not anyone knows. I guess having an understanding of myself made it easier to stop hiding out. I wouldn't discuss it within my family (of origin), but I also would not deny it.

I came out to my son when he was about 9, because I didn't think he needed to grow up and find out that I'd kept something that important from him. All I had to do was explain same sex relationships to him and then add an explanation of bisexuality with "and that's me". That was a good plan, because he grew up knowing that sexual orientation was never a taboo topic - anywhere. He went to a magnet school for the arts with a small student body and probably half his friends were gay or bi. They were a cozy, affectionate bunch and very good for my son, who seems to have turned out totally straight (or so he tells me).

What I learned about my sexuality after my divorce ended up being totally different from any of the assumptions and expectations I'd carried with me for decades. I understand it, but I don't know that other people do. All I know is that I completely understand myself and accept myself. I just don't trust others (regardless of their own orientation) to understand or accept me. I am who I am, but I live in a culture with deep seated prejudices about sex and sexuality and that's not an exclusive territory for hetereosexuals only.

Smiler106

Ok mine is not too exciting, but I will share.

I've been out to my sister & my close friends for as long as I can remember. I think maybe they worked it out before I did! I came out to my parents in 2003 and I told my Mum & Dad seperately because I have a different relationship with each of them.

I've always been closer to my Dad so I told him first. He came to pick me up from university for the easter holiday. We were just chilling and watching TV the night before we left, and I just blurted it out during an ad break.... my Dad just said.... "Ok. Have you seen this advert?" To be fair it was a cool advert... the Honda domino effect one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgmtU_prs3I

He carried on like nothing happened the rest of the night & I thought maybe I'd dreamed it or he didn't take it in. While we were making the 6 hour journey home he put on Joan Armatrading, who we both like anyway and he told me that she is famously a lesbian. I knew then that he had heard me and was totally cool. I love my Dad :-)

As for my Mum.... it was much more nerve wracking to tell her, but I kind of had a safety net because I knew that even if she wasn't cool my Dad & my aunt would talk her around (as my cousin is also an out lesbian). I told her when we were in the house alone. She said "well I hope you know what you're doing!!" and promptly stormed out and drove away. She came back a couple of hours later and never mentioned it since, not to this day. She has accepted it, my partner is invited to family occasions and made every bit as welcome as my sisters boyfriend. I guess I'm lucky, my family are awesome, I love them all.

jusjeigh

I was around 15 and began having my first lesbian experience. At this time I kept a journal and documented my latest conquest in that journal. I just so happened to leave that journal at my grandmother's house and she thought it was good reading material. After reading it she called my mom and outted me stating that I had something going on with my Spanish Teacher.... (I referred to the girl as Ms Lopez) Thanks Grandma!!!! Never felt so free...

Thesoundofwolf

I knew I was queer as h3ll since I was in middle school where me and my friends at sleepovers would hold hands, or kissie face. And same in high school, only add more sex.

19 I came out. I had already claimed a girlfriend in college. It was the summer of my freshman year second semester, my parents were driving me and my roommate from Georgia to Florida (not girlfriend, just roommate; never date your roommates). We stopped in Gainsville Florida where my grandparents were going to pick us up and swap out cars for the rest of the drive to Lakeland.

So we had lunch, and then we're sitting there in the Crackerbarrell parking lot. I tell them I'm gay. My mom cries, then smokes a whole pack of cigs, then tells me 'everyone feels like that, but it's just a phase'. Dad hugs me, calls me a gutless cowards for waiting till we were getting left for college- but that he loves me.

Nine years later, they still love me. Despite their own divorce. Just, they don't understand 'pansexuality'. Because I've had a boyfriend and a few gender-queer partners since then. Oh well.