Now I am obsessing. *kitten*.
Meghan0116
Posts: 1,263 Member
This is why I am not ready to date, have a relationship, or have a fwb. I am sorry I am so neurotic everyone, please bare with me.
I was talking to a friend about last night and she asked how old he was. I couldn't remember, so I went on POF and looked at his profile. And, what a nice surprise it was to see him on POF as well. Granted, we are not monogamous, not in a relationship, and have only really spent time together last night but he did say that he only sleeps with one person at a time and he was interested in keeping this up with me. And there he is back on POF. I am not angry, pissed, or upset. But I am a teensie weensie bit hurt that we slept together last night and then BAM he is back on POF trolling.
I am ready to pack it up now and say yeah, not again but it isn't really my business what he does. And it isn't his business what I do. I am really no good at this stuff. I told a friend that I am just going to move to the woods, become a hermit, and it will just be me and my vibrators. lmao
Feel free to comment on my rampant neuroticisms.
I was talking to a friend about last night and she asked how old he was. I couldn't remember, so I went on POF and looked at his profile. And, what a nice surprise it was to see him on POF as well. Granted, we are not monogamous, not in a relationship, and have only really spent time together last night but he did say that he only sleeps with one person at a time and he was interested in keeping this up with me. And there he is back on POF. I am not angry, pissed, or upset. But I am a teensie weensie bit hurt that we slept together last night and then BAM he is back on POF trolling.
I am ready to pack it up now and say yeah, not again but it isn't really my business what he does. And it isn't his business what I do. I am really no good at this stuff. I told a friend that I am just going to move to the woods, become a hermit, and it will just be me and my vibrators. lmao
Feel free to comment on my rampant neuroticisms.
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Replies
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I think you answered your questions yourself :flowerforyou:
You can't have too many expectations from a situation like this. Why did you decide that that's all it was? Or did he set the perameters for you?0 -
It sounds like ya'll talked about it before sex happened but maybe not everything was clear?
Also, he could have gotten a message or maybe he was looking at your pretty pics again wondering how he got such a hot thing to have sex with him!
If he was "trolling" well you said ya'll aren't exclusive or anything and just because he was looking doesn't mean he's going to sleep with anybody else.
By the way, I completely understand you which is why I'm staying away from sex that's not on my terms (and his of course).0 -
Gah! Don't you hate that! 'No, I'm not talking to anyone else'....then why the HELL are you browsing POF? Granted, I'm a ****ing nutcase who goes on just to see when the guy I am talking to has last gone on. So, yeah...I'm probably too insecure for any sort of relationship at this point, too.0
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Between the other post about how he was just going to be a "special friend" and this one, I've gotta tell ya, I'm confused.
Was being "friends" his idea or yours? If it was his, that should've been your first clue that he was lying about only sleeping with one woman at a time. If it was yours, why is it a surprise that he's back to shopping around?0 -
Gah! Don't you hate that! 'No, I'm not talking to anyone else'....then why the HELL are you browsing POF? Granted, I'm a ****ing nutcase who goes on just to see when the guy I am talking to has last gone on. So, yeah...I'm probably too insecure for any sort of relationship at this point, too.
It isn't just you. I have done it too. It is like we are setting ourselves up for rejection before it happens so we won't be surprised when it does. We are creating our own sh*tty self-fulfilling prophecies.
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Gah! Don't you hate that! 'No, I'm not talking to anyone else'....then why the HELL are you browsing POF? Granted, I'm a ****ing nutcase who goes on just to see when the guy I am talking to has last gone on. So, yeah...I'm probably too insecure for any sort of relationship at this point, too.
It isn't just you. I have done it too. It is like we are setting ourselves up for rejection before it happens so we won't be surprised when it does. We are creating our own sh*tty self-fulfilling prophecies.
Does this mean you wanted more but just said you'd be okay with "special friends" in case he rejected you?
You don't have to answer but be honest with yourself.
Trust me, I'm learning the hard way too but always always at least be honest with yourself that way you can make decisions with a clear mind.0 -
Between the other post about how he was just going to be a "special friend" and this one, I've gotta tell ya, I'm confused.
Was being "friends" his idea or yours? If it was his, that should've been your first clue that he was lying about only sleeping with one woman at a time. If it was yours, why is it a surprise that he's back to shopping around?
Good point. We had the discussion before even meeting and agreed that this is what we were looking for from one another. And we discussed STDs, condoms, safety, blah blah blah. Hence the only one person at a time comment. Which was why I was surprised and a wee bit hurt that he was so quickly back on pof after he said he wanted to keep it going with me. I hope this makes sense and if it doesn't, it is my irrational mind talking. lol0 -
Gah! Don't you hate that! 'No, I'm not talking to anyone else'....then why the HELL are you browsing POF? Granted, I'm a ****ing nutcase who goes on just to see when the guy I am talking to has last gone on. So, yeah...I'm probably too insecure for any sort of relationship at this point, too.
It isn't just you. I have done it too. It is like we are setting ourselves up for rejection before it happens so we won't be surprised when it does. We are creating our own sh*tty self-fulfilling prophecies.
Does this mean you wanted more but just said you'd be okay with "special friends" in case he rejected you?
You don't have to answer but be honest with yourself.
Trust me, I'm learning the hard way too but always always at least be honest with yourself that way you can make decisions with a clear mind.
No. I knew what it was going to be going into. I like him, he is a nice guy, he is sexy, and interesting. Do I see or want a future with him? No.
But, I think I also may be realizing that while a fwb sounds great the reality might not be. I think I might be coming over to your camp. lol0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Haha! Yup.0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Sincerely doubt that. But thanks. lol0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Sincerely doubt that. But thanks. lol
My point is that you are drawing conclusions with really by the sounds no facts to back them up.
I keep saying this over thinking things is terribly self destructive,sometimes we are our own worst enemies.0 -
FWB is not for everybody. I think few people can actually pull it off. The most successful friends with benefits are actually friends I believe. Someone you can be honest with and know they will be honest with you. I had one years ago, he was great in bed and fun to be around. We both didn't want a relationship and agreed to not sleep with other people. It doesn't work for everybody though. I think the key is being actually friends and really not wanting more than benefits. Just my opinion. Good luck.0
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Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Sincerely doubt that. But thanks. lol
My point is that you are drawing conclusions with really by the sounds no facts to back them up.
I keep saying this over thinking things is terribly self destructive,sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
You are right and I absolutely am. If I were going to be completely honest, which I will be, it is because I expect to be rejected. I expect to be hurt. I do not feel like I am worthwhile enough for someone to love me. Especially since, at the moment, I don't particularly love myself.0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Sincerely doubt that. But thanks. lol
My point is that you are drawing conclusions with really by the sounds no facts to back them up.
I keep saying this over thinking things is terribly self destructive,sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
You are right and I absolutely am. If I were going to be completely honest, which I will be, it is because I expect to be rejected. I expect to be hurt. I do not feel like I am worthwhile enough for someone to love me. Especially since, at the moment, I don't particularly love myself.
Well stop doing that. :smokin:
I know,it takes more then words and I can`t make it happen but I see a lady in your picture that should not expect to be rejected,no one can argue that part either.
The rest is kind of up to you to put yourself out there as a woman a guy does want to be with.:flowerforyou:0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Sincerely doubt that. But thanks. lol
My point is that you are drawing conclusions with really by the sounds no facts to back them up.
I keep saying this over thinking things is terribly self destructive,sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
You are right and I absolutely am. If I were going to be completely honest, which I will be, it is because I expect to be rejected. I expect to be hurt. I do not feel like I am worthwhile enough for someone to love me. Especially since, at the moment, I don't particularly love myself.
Oh this breaks my heart. You and I sound a lot alike.0 -
So does anyone thing she should ask him about being on POF so she can clear this up? If so, how?
(I personally never figured out the right way to do this w/o the guy getting angry)0 -
Somewhere in a forum far far away there is a broken hearted guy saying.
"I met this really great lady and we hit it off and had some fun,we didn`t make any commitments but she knows I am only interested in one lady at a time so kind of thought she would do the same.
This morning I went on POF to answer some emails by telling them I was no longer looking and then was going to hide my profile but couldn`t resist looking at hers just one more time and there she was online.
I guess maybe I didn`t impress her that much after all :frown: "
Sincerely doubt that. But thanks. lol
My point is that you are drawing conclusions with really by the sounds no facts to back them up.
I keep saying this over thinking things is terribly self destructive,sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
You are right and I absolutely am. If I were going to be completely honest, which I will be, it is because I expect to be rejected. I expect to be hurt. I do not feel like I am worthwhile enough for someone to love me. Especially since, at the moment, I don't particularly love myself.
Sending you hugs. But I can totally sympathize...0 -
You are right and I absolutely am. If I were going to be completely honest, which I will be, it is because I expect to be rejected. I expect to be hurt. I do not feel like I am worthwhile enough for someone to love me. Especially since, at the moment, I don't particularly love myself.
Perhaps you would be better off finding a FRIEND for a fwb situation than some random guy off POF then.0 -
This is why I am not ready to date, have a relationship, or have a fwb. I am sorry I am so neurotic everyone, please bare with me.
I was talking to a friend about last night and she asked how old he was. I couldn't remember, so I went on POF and looked at his profile. And, what a nice surprise it was to see him on POF as well. Granted, we are not monogamous, not in a relationship, and have only really spent time together last night but he did say that he only sleeps with one person at a time and he was interested in keeping this up with me. And there he is back on POF. I am not angry, pissed, or upset. But I am a teensie weensie bit hurt that we slept together last night and then BAM he is back on POF trolling.
I am ready to pack it up now and say yeah, not again but it isn't really my business what he does. And it isn't his business what I do. I am really no good at this stuff. I told a friend that I am just going to move to the woods, become a hermit, and it will just be me and my vibrators. lmao
Feel free to comment on my rampant neuroticisms.
First off hugs to you and trust me I understand your point of view. But maybe he is on there trolling for something more serious with someone else because from what you wrote you are not exclusive with him just sexually. Even if he said it is just one on one he still could be looking for a relationship on POF. I think you should ask him if that is what he is doing so you know exactly what to expect and when you see him on POF at all hours you don't get hurt.0 -
This is why I am not ready to date, have a relationship, or have a fwb. I am sorry I am so neurotic everyone, please bare with me.
I was talking to a friend about last night and she asked how old he was. I couldn't remember, so I went on POF and looked at his profile. And, what a nice surprise it was to see him on POF as well. Granted, we are not monogamous, not in a relationship, and have only really spent time together last night but he did say that he only sleeps with one person at a time and he was interested in keeping this up with me. And there he is back on POF. I am not angry, pissed, or upset. But I am a teensie weensie bit hurt that we slept together last night and then BAM he is back on POF trolling.
I am ready to pack it up now and say yeah, not again but it isn't really my business what he does. And it isn't his business what I do. I am really no good at this stuff. I told a friend that I am just going to move to the woods, become a hermit, and it will just be me and my vibrators. lmao
Feel free to comment on my rampant neuroticisms.
First off hugs to you and trust me I understand your point of view. But maybe he is on there trolling for something more serious with someone else because from what you wrote you are not exclusive with him just sexually. Even if he said it is just one on one he still could be looking for a relationship on POF. I think you should ask him if that is what he is doing so you know exactly what to expect and when you see him on POF at all hours you don't get hurt.
He said that he is not interested in a relationship. Which, I thought was what I wanted. We made our expectations pretty clear. Blegh. lol0 -
Also, when I am sleeping with someone, I am exclusively sleeping with that person. I am terrified of STDs. lol0
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This is why I am not ready to date, have a relationship, or have a fwb. I am sorry I am so neurotic everyone, please bare with me.
I was talking to a friend about last night and she asked how old he was. I couldn't remember, so I went on POF and looked at his profile. And, what a nice surprise it was to see him on POF as well. Granted, we are not monogamous, not in a relationship, and have only really spent time together last night but he did say that he only sleeps with one person at a time and he was interested in keeping this up with me. And there he is back on POF. I am not angry, pissed, or upset. But I am a teensie weensie bit hurt that we slept together last night and then BAM he is back on POF trolling.
I am ready to pack it up now and say yeah, not again but it isn't really my business what he does. And it isn't his business what I do. I am really no good at this stuff. I told a friend that I am just going to move to the woods, become a hermit, and it will just be me and my vibrators. lmao
Feel free to comment on my rampant neuroticisms.
First off hugs to you and trust me I understand your point of view. But maybe he is on there trolling for something more serious with someone else because from what you wrote you are not exclusive with him just sexually. Even if he said it is just one on one he still could be looking for a relationship on POF. I think you should ask him if that is what he is doing so you know exactly what to expect and when you see him on POF at all hours you don't get hurt.
He said that he is not interested in a relationship. Which, I thought was what I wanted. We made our expectations pretty clear. Blegh. lol
You are entitled to change your mind... so I understand confusion if you like him now that you were twirling with him. LOL :flowerforyou:0 -
Well I dont know how you would confront him on this or if you even should......
As a person whose FWB seems to be devoloping into something more let me tell you its a fine line to walk and really if your only FWB neither of you should be questioning the others activity. Your not " together"..... Maybe even though you agreed to be exclusive sexually he is continuing to look because he feels something more might come along. Doesn't mean hes looking for other FWB0 -
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You are right and I absolutely am. If I were going to be completely honest, which I will be, it is because I expect to be rejected. I expect to be hurt. I do not feel like I am worthwhile enough for someone to love me. Especially since, at the moment, I don't particularly love myself.
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No judgement...but I feel like you should working on loving yourself instead of some man. They are a dime a dozen. I promise. :flowerforyou:0 -
Well I dont know how you would confront him on this or if you even should......
As a person whose FWB seems to be devoloping into something more let me tell you its a fine line to walk and really if your only FWB neither of you should be questioning the others activity. Your not " together"..... Maybe even though you agreed to be exclusive sexually he is continuing to look because he feels something more might come along. Doesn't mean hes looking for other FWB
No, I don't think I should. I wouldn't care for him confronting me.
Yeah. I think I will just play this out and see what happens. *sigh* Why do male female interactions have to be so difficult?0 -
Well I dont know how you would confront him on this or if you even should......
As a person whose FWB seems to be devoloping into something more let me tell you its a fine line to walk and really if your only FWB neither of you should be questioning the others activity. Your not " together"..... Maybe even though you agreed to be exclusive sexually he is continuing to look because he feels something more might come along. Doesn't mean hes looking for other FWB
No, I don't think I should. I wouldn't care for him confronting me.
Yeah. I think I will just play this out and see what happens. *sigh* Why do male female interactions have to be so difficult?
Because if not the spark would be far less fun :bigsmile:
Take my advice just dont stress it and ride it out..... If you decide its not for you simply tell him this isnt working for you at this time.0 -
Well I dont know how you would confront him on this or if you even should......
As a person whose FWB seems to be devoloping into something more let me tell you its a fine line to walk and really if your only FWB neither of you should be questioning the others activity. Your not " together"..... Maybe even though you agreed to be exclusive sexually he is continuing to look because he feels something more might come along. Doesn't mean hes looking for other FWB
No, I don't think I should. I wouldn't care for him confronting me.
Yeah. I think I will just play this out and see what happens. *sigh* Why do male female interactions have to be so difficult?
Because if not the spark would be far less fun :bigsmile:
Take my advice just dont stress it and ride it out..... If you decide its not for you simply tell him this isnt working for you at this time.
Okay, now teach me how to relax! lol0 -
Meet my friend Mr. Alcohol :drinker: lol...... Seriously the best way to handle it is just like you did when you freak out a little do it with us and remeber the most important thing in all of this is are you having fun and "fun":bigsmile: You'll find that if you are you start to care less about what he is doing just think of him as a BOB(battery operated boyfriend) with a mouth lol... This is one of those things were if you honestly dont see it going anywhere you can be selfish and not worry about what he is feeling....(not saying to be a ***** though) If done correctly a FWB really will make you feel good about yourself. Think about it this is a guy who your not in a relationship with so neither of you have to sugarcoat things. If he tells you that you look pretty he more than likely means it. He doesn't have to "fake" interest in you because he knows that you guys are planning on sleeping together. (Not trying to offend guys who give sincere compliments)0
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Well I dont know how you would confront him on this or if you even should......
As a person whose FWB seems to be devoloping into something more let me tell you its a fine line to walk and really if your only FWB neither of you should be questioning the others activity. Your not " together"..... Maybe even though you agreed to be exclusive sexually he is continuing to look because he feels something more might come along. Doesn't mean hes looking for other FWB
No, I don't think I should. I wouldn't care for him confronting me.
Yeah. I think I will just play this out and see what happens. *sigh* Why do male female interactions have to be so difficult?
Because they are the only times in life that we voluntarily give away our hearts. :flowerforyou:0
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