How should I put this...
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toots99
Posts: 3,794 Member
Okay so I'm on match.com, and I've met some guys on there and I always get a bit uncomfortable when it comes to the "What do you do?" subject. I'm a waitress. I've been doing it for forever, I'm good at it, and I (usually) love it. I love the company I work for. I think if I won the lottery I'd still work there and give all my tips to charity (that was my plan if I had won the $600 million last week LOL)
That's my night job. A few days a week, I have my own home cleaning business. I like it a lot as well, and I love the feeling of satisfaction I get when homeowners email me and tell me what a great job I've done and how they love coming home to a sparkly clean house. It makes me feel good to know that I've made others happy after a long day.
The issue is, I don't think most guys are into dating someone who's "Just a waitress". Yes, I've heard myself called that before, like I'm not smart enough to have a "real" job. And I don't think guys are into dating a "maid". Though I don't see myself as a maid. I guess maybe part of it is the confidence in which I speak of it, and they can take it or leave it since I'm happy with what I do, but I'd like to not be immediately discounted just because of what I do. And yes, that's happened plenty of times.
I guess my question is this: is it fair to consider myself a business owner and put it across that way? It's just me, I get my own clients, I set the rates, I set my hours and do the work and rake in my money. And I make pretty good money doing it.
How should I talk about my jobs in a way that makes me seem more than "just a waitress/maid"?
That's my night job. A few days a week, I have my own home cleaning business. I like it a lot as well, and I love the feeling of satisfaction I get when homeowners email me and tell me what a great job I've done and how they love coming home to a sparkly clean house. It makes me feel good to know that I've made others happy after a long day.
The issue is, I don't think most guys are into dating someone who's "Just a waitress". Yes, I've heard myself called that before, like I'm not smart enough to have a "real" job. And I don't think guys are into dating a "maid". Though I don't see myself as a maid. I guess maybe part of it is the confidence in which I speak of it, and they can take it or leave it since I'm happy with what I do, but I'd like to not be immediately discounted just because of what I do. And yes, that's happened plenty of times.
I guess my question is this: is it fair to consider myself a business owner and put it across that way? It's just me, I get my own clients, I set the rates, I set my hours and do the work and rake in my money. And I make pretty good money doing it.
How should I talk about my jobs in a way that makes me seem more than "just a waitress/maid"?
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Replies
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Okay so I'm on match.com, and I've met some guys on there and I always get a bit uncomfortable when it comes to the "What do you do?" subject. I'm a waitress. I've been doing it for forever, I'm good at it, and I (usually) love it. I love the company I work for. I think if I won the lottery I'd still work there and give all my tips to charity (that was my plan if I had won the $600 million last week LOL)
That's my night job. A few days a week, I have my own home cleaning business. I like it a lot as well, and I love the feeling of satisfaction I get when homeowners email me and tell me what a great job I've done and how they love coming home to a sparkly clean house. It makes me feel good to know that I've made others happy after a long day.
The issue is, I don't think most guys are into dating someone who's "Just a waitress". Yes, I've heard myself called that before, like I'm not smart enough to have a "real" job. And I don't think guys are into dating a "maid". Though I don't see myself as a maid. I guess maybe part of it is the confidence in which I speak of it, and they can take it or leave it since I'm happy with what I do, but I'd like to not be immediately discounted just because of what I do. And yes, that's happened plenty of times.
I guess my question is this: is it fair to consider myself a business owner and put it across that way? It's just me, I get my own clients, I set the rates, I set my hours and do the work and rake in my money. And I make pretty good money doing it.
How should I talk about my jobs in a way that makes me seem more than "just a waitress/maid"?
Girly, you are not "just" anything! I would tell them that I am an entrepeneur in the service industry. If they want to know more, then you can explain that you own a maid service business and have been working on growing that while you supplement your income with a night-time waitressing job because you like to help people. If the guy can't see what a truly awesome person you are, they can stuff it.0 -
I would say something like "I have recently started my own cleaning business and to supplement my income I also am a waitress. I love being a service to people and enjoy both jobs."
If they want to know more after that you can go into greater detail. Most guys once they read "sevice people" though might get a dirty mind (or maybe that is just me today).0 -
If someone sees you as "just a waitress" then that person 1) has never worked in the service industry, and 2) isn't worth your time. Not everyone enjoys sitting at a desk, and good for you for doing what you love!0
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These ladies have it!!
Also, I loved working at a resturant and it was my plan (MegaMilions) to work as a Barista. :happy:
In the end, if he judges you or looks down on you, he's not for you :flowerforyou:0 -
There is not a thing wrong with being a waitress and you should not have to explain any further than that. If he does not accept that then move on.0
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Say you are a waste management consultant. Seems to work for Tony Soprano and the real life versions of that
You are a business owner and can say that.
Writing off a waitress just for being a waitress is silly. A guy worthwhile realizes that.0 -
Yeah, I don't think most guys really care about what a woman does for work, so long as you don't sling crack or hook that is.0
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Here's the rub - You prefer to date someone without kids. Some men are going to prefer to date someone with a different career path.
Not EVERYONE is going to like you.
I am ruled out b/c I smoke when I drink, I'm divorced, I have a kid, I'm tall, I'm crass, My *kitten* is too fat, etc. etc....
Only go out with those that accept you for who you are :ohwell: Honest. Why would you want to "convince" someone you're good enough??0 -
I briefly dated a guy that was a VP of a commercial contracting firm. I was initially intimated a bit by that. Ends up he was THE biggest weirdo that I had EVER met in my life. I am not kidding you.
Your profession doesn't define your worth, or lack thereof! :flowerforyou:0 -
tbh, I dont give a rats *kitten* what someone does for a living. I would be more concerned if someone tried to embellish the truth. I mean, if you get together, he's going to know exactly what you do no matter how you try to flower it.
As everyone has said, be proud of who you are. The person who catches such an entrepreneurial, hard working and diligent lady that actually enjoys her jobs, is the lucky one! :flowerforyou:0 -
There is not a thing wrong with being a waitress and you should not have to explain any further than that. If he does not accept that then move on.
People always say this. Who cares? They're not good enough for you! Move on! But when you live it, it's hard not to want to find a solution. Because then no one is good enough for you. And you have to move on so much that you're alone.
There are two things about me that cause men's eyes to glaze over and the convo to end quickly: My race and my job. When I found "acceptable answers" that were still true (I hate to lie) for both questions, my social calendar became full.
It's not right, but it's the world we have to live in.0 -
Why would you want to "convince" someone you're good enough??
I don't think it's just about "convincing" someone you're good enough. I think it's about getting your foot in the door long enough to get a chance that someone can know you and discover how delightful you are.0 -
Girly, you are not "just" anything! I would tell them that I am an entrepreneur in the service industry. If they want to know more, then you can explain that you own a maid service business and have been working on growing that while you supplement your income with a night-time waitressing job because you like to help people. If the guy can't see what a truly awesome person you are, they can stuff it.
I love this!
It caught me off guard to read your post. There's no way I could hack it as a waitress, let me tell you! But I have the opposite problem. When they hear what I do for a living, they automatically assume I am either super geeky or so high-and-mighty I couldn't possibly be content with a blue collar guy (mmm luv me some mechanics, lol).
So I'm always trying to downplay what I do... and I finally fell on an answer that was both true and pleasing to the guys. If we get to know each other well enough, what I do will come out (can you tell I'm a blabbermouth??) but by then usually the guy isn't so intimidated.0 -
As long as you're making enough money to support yourself then it shouldn't matter how you do it! Well besides prostitution, pimping, drug rings, etc.. haha0
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If someone sees you as "just a waitress" then that person 1) has never worked in the service industry, and 2) isn't worth your time. Not everyone enjoys sitting at a desk, and good for you for doing what you love!
Amen! Being a waitress is hard work! You could always say "I work in the service industry," and if the person says "oh what do you do?" you could say "I'm a waitress, and I have been for X years. I really love it. I also just started my own business!"0 -
People find my job very offputting too. I don't want to hide it, but I want people to get to know me a lttle so they don't fall for the stereotype. So I tend to be a bit vague when they ask and then I tell them when I've got to know them a little. When I was doing online dating I think I put "I'll tell you later".0
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tbh, I dont give a rats *kitten* what someone does for a living. I would be more concerned if someone tried to embellish the truth. I mean, if you get together, he's going to know exactly what you do no matter how you try to flower it.
As everyone has said, be proud of who you are. The person who catches such an entrepreneurial, hard working and diligent lady that actually enjoys her jobs, is the lucky one! :flowerforyou:
agreed. it's not so important the job, but the enjoyment you get from it and the plans you have for yourself.0 -
You have nothing to be ashamed of. I have people look down on me because I didn't go to college. I give them a look of disgust. We have no less worth then any other person!!!0
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I only say that because most people don't see waitressing as a job with any future stability. I think that's what turns guys off about it. AND, I think that guys don't want to have to tell people that their girlfriend is a waitress!
I know whoever thinks that is a douche and not worthy, but trouble is, I think most guys think that!0 -
I faced the same stigma for years having worked in a convience store, a fast food resturant & a bowling ally grill. And, I had 3 small children which scared off pretty much everyone. So, I just didnt date for many years. Its sad that people look down on you because of your profession (s)...wether you are a male or female. The truth is, if you like you job, you are good at it & it is a legetimate profession, then you should be admired for it not looked down upon. At least you are self sufficient!
My suggestion is to be confident about what you do.... and be yourself. If your job is a deciding factor for some guy then dont waste your time.... you deserve someone who isnt that shallow.... someone who will admire you for who you are .... not what you do! :flowerforyou:0
