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ymug2001
Posts: 41 Member
I have an 8 year old daughter, her dad died 5 years ago and I had not dated anyone since then. I met a girl who I fell in love with and my daughter really likes her too. I decided I would tell my sister because she has always been my best friend, when I told her she got so mad at me, she told me she was disgusted by me because I was going to ruin my daughter's life. She said I alwasy thought you were such a good mom and now you do this? I personally do not see that I a harming my daughter in any way but it has been very hard having to deal with my sister and I cannot even imagine with the whole family. Thank you
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Replies
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If they really love you they'll accept who you are and your love for this woman...just give your sister and other family time to adjust and I'm sure it will work itself out. c:0
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Sorry to hear your sister reacted like that. No, you are not ruining your daughter's life. I don't know you, your family, or anything more about your situation than what you've written here, so all I can say is be true to yourself, give your sister time to get used to this news, and love your daughter!0
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Thank you! 0 -
Been there, done that! My boys were 5 and 8 at the time. Unfortunately I had to cut a few people out of my life until they came to terms with it, but eventually they did. It all works out in the end. Hang in there!0
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Sorry to hear your sister reacted like that. No, you are not ruining your daughter's life. I don't know you, your family, or anything more about your situation than what you've written here, so all I can say is be true to yourself, give your sister time to get used to this news, and love your daughter!
Treetop already said all the words good, I won't say the words this good, so I will just quote him here.0 -
It is very hard to deal with but I think I have to think of my happiness as well0
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First off- congrats on finding love!:drinker: Everyone deserves love. Family is always a touchy subject when it comes to sexuality but you have to remember a few things...you are following your heart. That is most important. And then remember that love is love. It sees no color, creed, sex, gender or race. And your child should grow up learning that as the only way.
Please don't feel you are doing anything wrong. This is YOUR life, not your family's...keep your head up and best wishes!:flowerforyou:0 -
Thank you so much your comments make me feel so much better! 0
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i had a sort of similar story, except me and my husband separated.. and i feel deeply in love with my GF... bottom line, i'm an adult and pay my own bills, and i'm not living for anyone besides me and my kids. they love her.. i love her.. and i know anyone that gave her the chance would. So i just came out and told everyone and said eff it.. i couldn't care less what anyone thought. however, everyone in my life accepted her and said as long as you're happy. i'm sorry ur sister doesn't understand, however it really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things b/c u can't help who u love. she will come around i'm sure.0
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Yes! that is what I have decided to do. I told y sister I love her but I'm not going to give up my happiness just because she can't accept it.0
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Unless you are physically harming your child, which by your post I'm guessing you're not, I don't see how you falling in love is in any way harmful. I think it's a wonderful thing!! The great many things you are showing your child are truly gifts in this life....not only are you showing your child that you can love after a loss - and that it's ok to grieve the loss of someone and continue with your life, and that doesn't mean you've forgotten about that person, you're just moving on; but you're also showing your child that love can have many forms, and you should always be proud of who you love! I think that's a win all around.
Your sister may just need time. It sounds like this may not be something your family is used to, specifically with you, so give them some time. They may come around....or they may not. Either way, that's THEIR choice, not yours. Love who you love, and love them proudly!! The lessons you are teaching your child about openness, love, life and moving on tell me that you're a great mom!!0 -
Give your sister some time to accept it.
She will see that you and your daughter are doing perfectly fine with her in lives and she will see how happy you are as well.
I am sorry that she isnt as accepting but its probably just because she dont understand.
As long as your daughter accepts it then I really think you have nothing else to worry about.
Follow your heart, not the opinions of others!0 -
While i'm not condoning her response, remember that she's known you for a lifetime in a certain way, and now that's been flipped upside down. Plus, she is exposed to the same negative messages about our families as we are, and that's enough to make anyone scared!
Given your post, I am assuming that her response surprised you...if so, she'll come along. I'm sorry that your experience didn't go the way you hoped it would.0 -
Yes, it's true she did not expect me to tell her something like this and I am trying to understand her too. It just it did hurt my feelings that she told me that her and my siblings saw me as an example and now I do this. I don't think that the things I have accomplished with a lot of effort are not worth anything anymore because of the person I love.0
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It takes people time. Some people need a lot more then others. The best advice anyone can give you is to remember that.
Also remember that people say things they don't really believe when they feel hurt. They lash out and hope it will all go away.
The best thing you can do is show them you still love them and that you are still YOU. People fear what they do not understand.
Give it time for the fear to melt away. It might take years for some to fully be okay with it but time does heal and they will slowly come around.0
