Facebook

solman66

So is facebook a necessity in todays dating world?
I never signed up for and never plan to, but it almost seems as though I'm the only one without it.

Women actually ask what my facebook name is before asking what my real name is.

DMZ_1

In the early stages, definitely not.

After about the 3-5 date mark when you are comfortable with each other, it is a useful communication tool. I prefer to send messages through Facebook than text messages. Is it a necessity? I think there are ways around it.

ItsCasey

Facebook is how you investigate people you don't know very well before you decide whether or not you want to get to know them better. It's rude, and it has completely replaced having actual conversations where you ask questions about each other and make an honest effort to determine whether or not there is potential for something real.

The only thing I use Facebook for is to maintain contact with friends from high school and college. If a guy is lazy enough to try to use Facebook to gain access to my life or glean information about me, rather than asking to spend time with me so he can get to know the real, live, human version of me, then that's a sign we aren't a good fit for each other.

Nerple

I don't know why you would deny someone the ability to be creepy and delve into the past 5 years of your life easily. Being a stalker is the new normal.

mickeygirliegirl

It has replaced Google as the investigative tool of choice.

pa_jorg

I never signed up for and never plan to, but it almost seems as though I'm the only one without it.

I'm anti-facebook. I've never had nor am I ever planning on having one either if that makes you feel better. Maybe it says more about those of us who don't use it than the people who do?

christine24t

I'll first say that I am a good Facebook creeper.
And I'll also say that when I went on a blind date last year, I resisted the urge to Facebook him first, because I didn't want to prejudge.

lmd172

i'm on here more than i am fb...i may "like" someone's status update, but i rarely update my own...

as far as creeping...i do it, and wouldn't really hold it against someone if they creeped on me first.

supermom2002

FB is great for creeping. But it only gives you part of the picture. If people creeped my FB they would get very mixed messages. I next to never use it anymore. I don't need the drama.

I kind of have a greater respect for those who say they don't use FB, and never will. It means they either get their drama fix from other places or are just above it all.

ItsCasey

I have a problem with anyone "creeping" me on the Internet, especially on something like Facebook, where you aren't just creeping me but everyone on my friends list as well. And it's not because I have skeletons in my closet. I'm about as square as they come. But what is so freaking hard about just asking people what you want to know? If it's something you don't think is yet appropriate to ask in person, how is not MORE inappropriate to be snooping around behind their back? And if you feel like they might be lying to you about something, isn't that a good indication that you shouldn't be dating them anyway?

Maybe it's because I grew up in a small town where you didn't have to sneak around because everyone knew everyone's business. But I've lived in a metropolitan area for the last 11 years, and I still feel like you are far more successful with people when you get to know them organically over a period of time, rather than showing up on date #1 already knowing pretty much everything about them. I like to talk to people, ask them questions, watch their facial expressions as they describe their lives and the people and things that matter most to them. You don't get that from spending hours stalking someone on the Internet.

AnnaPixie

I dont ever add strangers to my FB. Especially not guys from dating sites!! Actually that creeps me out after some of the men I've met......:noway:

IOW My friends on FB are my FRIENDS!! :flowerforyou:

Meghan0116

Yeah no! I do not add anyone from online to my fb. I have lots and lots of pictures of my son on there. I am also set up as unsearchable.

r1ghtpath

its not a must to me. i haven't added any guys that i've dated. i think sometimes you can find skeletons via people's Facebook. one guy i went out with swore he was divorced, yet his wife was on Facebook and her status was married. there were pics of them together as her profile pic!! in that way it might be a good thing. but, otherwise, i don't see that is should matter at all :-)

JanieJack

Facebook is how I found out the very first guy I was gonna meet online not only wasn't 45 like he said, but was closer to 60 and had a daughter my age. I cancelled and never met with him. I like to find out about someone on facebook as soon as I can without appearing to be too much of a stalker. But I do warn people that I even though I think it's due dilligence I've been called a fb stalker. Most guys just laugh and give me their info anyway ;-)

dbrightwell1270

I have my profile set to private. I've only had one girl from match send me a friend request and I thought it was a little weird. It didn't occur to me that she was creeping my profile for intelligence. We never met in person after. she was the one who said she didn't want to meet but I lost interest because I thought she was a little too enthusiastic with the friend request. My text responses got a little shorter and I put off meeting her.

I guess getting creeped on facebook didn't occur to me because some of the more important aspects of my life are public record. I work for the state and my business address and salary are easy to look up. Some of my work product is in the public domain. Through the info the state makes available things that can be found out about me are where I went to school, when I graduated, what degrees I hold, where I've worked in the past, how long I worked there and what I did in those jobs. On facebook, you'd see I am sarcastic, I've lost over 100 pounds in the past few years, I am active, and I go to Las Vegas to play poker a few times a year. My online dating profile says all that though.