question

Vodkha

I met this guy about almost a month ago now. I know that's not that long. Anyways, he is such a sweet guy, shows me by his actions he seems into me, we get along well and have been hanging out a lot. I just found out he is going to be posted across the country in a little over 2 months.  

We are kind of exclusively seeing each other I guess. Definitely not bf/gf but I'm sure it could turn into that if he were staying. My question is, how do I handle this? We have not talked about him leaving very much, he doesn't have all the specifics yet. I want to keep hanging out with him, but I don't want to get hurt. I feel like I am starting to like him more and more as we spend time together. Do I just go along and let things happen as they happen and risk being hurt? Or do I end it? Or do I let things happen and maybe it could turn into something eventually with me having to move. I know the whole moving thing would be a loooong way off, but I guess it does have to be considered if I would ever do it or not. 

ItsCasey

I think you should talk about it. "Just letting things happen" is how you get hurt. If you're willing to try long-distance, then bring it up. If you aren't, then you have to end it. Don't let him continue to think that you're okay with where things are. He can't read your mind.

AnnaPixie

yeah, I think you need to speak with him. I was in a very similar situation myself, a few years back. He got offered a job in Australia (I'm in UK) and my first reaction was to stop seeing him. I cancelled our date that weekend and everything. Cried my eyes out; I was madly in love with him already, even after 3 months, so I didnt see the point of carrying on as no way could I go live in Oz.

It was him that convinced me to carry on seeing him. He said that nothing in life is sure, so we shouldnt stop what we were doing............. I carried on, and 2 months later he was gone, when we said goodbye.......OMG.....

Broke my heart :brokenheart: And I've never got over him!! I think when a relationship is so good and its cut short for no reason, its hard to come to terms with.........

I tend not to have regrets in life, but I often wonder if I would have hurt less had I stopped seeing him as soon as I found out.

It's a tough one, I cherish the time we had ........ but anyway yours is a different story if you would be willing to move in the future. Talk to him and find out how he feels about you :flowerforyou:

catherine4211

My motto is talking is over-rated. But in this case I think you need to. I don't want to see you get hurt. Hell - I don't want anyone to get hurt - it sucks!!

Vodkha

I just don't want him to freak out. We kinda discussed being friends and hanging out and what happens happens (I assume sex wise) but we have yet to do it. We just spend a lot of time together. I think he is into me? I get good morning texts most mornings, we text throughout the day when we both can, he invites me over a lot and sent me a text out of the blue the other day basically saying that he wants me to know that when he invites me over, he isn't expecting anything to happen except for enjoying my company, he lets me sleep over and doesn't try to have sex with me, he talks to his friends about me and even told his Dad about me. I know we are friends for sure, but past that, I'm not sure? I just don't want to scare him away by thinking I am super serious about things. I have been asking some friends about it (mostly guy friends) and they are saying to let some time go by before I talk to him or to not even talk to him at all, so it is interesting that most of you ladies are saying to talk about it Thanks everyone, I guess I have things to think about.

ItsCasey

I understand where you're coming from with not wanting him to freak out. But in a way, this is sort of like thinking you might have a serious medical problem and being afraid to go to the doctor to find out. Whether the news is good or bad, isn't it better to know so that you can move on with your life?

DMZ_1

It depends on long how off the move is and what your relationship goals are.

Vodkha

The move is 2 months away approx. but he will get all that info on monday. and relationship goal for me would be a relationship eventually if he were staying.

JanieJack

We are kind of exclusively seeing each other I guess. Definitely not bf/gf but I'm sure it could turn into that if he were staying.

If you're not sure about the status of your relationship, I'm wondering if there's really any "relationship" there from which to launch this kind of a talk.

I feel like I am starting to like him more and more as we spend time together. Do I just go along and let things happen as they happen and risk being hurt?

Another option is to continue hanging out with him but also be open to finding another guy. Not saying go find another guy, but being open to it (since you're not sure if you're exclusive, gf/by, etc) may help you to guard your heart from getting too into this guy before you can spend more time with him.

Natx83

yeah, I think you need to speak with him. I was in a very similar situation myself, a few years back. He got offered a job in Australia (I'm in UK) and my first reaction was to stop seeing him. I cancelled our date that weekend and everything. Cried my eyes out; I was madly in love with him already, even after 3 months, so I didnt see the point of carrying on as no way could I go live in Oz.

It was him that convinced me to carry on seeing him. He said that nothing in life is sure, so we shouldnt stop what we were doing............. I carried on, and 2 months later he was gone, when we said goodbye.......OMG.....

Broke my heart :brokenheart: And I've never got over him!! I think when a relationship is so good and its cut short for no reason, its hard to come to terms with.........

I tend not to have regrets in life, but I often wonder if I would have hurt less had I stopped seeing him as soon as I found out.

It's a tough one, I cherish the time we had ........ but anyway yours is a different story if you would be willing to move in the future. Talk to him and find out how he feels about you :flowerforyou:

This^^

Was exactly the same for me, a brief but really good stint with a girl, took me longer to get over than some of my long term relationships as it was just off abruptly! Hardest to deal with I think.

If you can talk to him about it might help in the long run with helping you to come to terms with it.

Its such a hard thing to do though as Im in 2 minds about it also but you have to ask yourself this :

Would you rather die regretting that you spent the time with him and getting hurt or would rather die regretting that you hadnt? Sounds drastic I know but its a good way to weigh things up!