To bring a date or not bring a date

Roadie2000

I've kind of been seeing someone for a few weeks now, we appear to like each other but I don't know what will happen in the future. It's still pretty casual.

But I have this wedding coming up that I need to RSVP for pretty soon, but the wedding itself isn't until the summer. And all of the people that I will know at the wedding will be standing up in it, so it would be nice to have a date.

So...do I RSVP with a +1, assuming we are still seeing each other then, or if we're not maybe I will be seeing someone else by then. Do I play it safe and just go stag? Maybe I can squeeze her in at the last minute if things are still going well, or if not maybe I can meet someone there.

I also have the same predicament with some concerts I want to get tickets for. All of the people I'd be going with are couples, most of them married. I'm getting kind of tired being the one single guy.

Nerple

I'd definately buy the concert tickets. It's fairly easy to find someone to go to a concert with. Even if it's just a friend.

No clue on the wedding, I am always single whenever I go to one.

AnnaPixie

I know how you feel :flowerforyou:

Planning in advance is a bit of a pain when you're single.

But I usually think positive and get 2 tickets and/or say +1 for the wedding. My take is that if the moment comes and I'm still not with anyone I want to invite, I'll take a mate. Or you can just let the wedding party know for sure a couple of weeks before the the +1 is no more.

IOW you dont have to be 100% even for a wedding. People break up and get together all the time :flowerforyou:

JanieJack

Another option could be to RSVP+1 and find a female (platonic) friend who can go with you if things don't work out with her.

pa_jorg

I run events for work and deal with the logistics of this often (although not for weddings)... add +1 to the RSVP for the bride's sake. It is always easier to subtract a guest than to add one at the last minute.

Moe4572

Do the +1, and as Anna said you can let them know a week in advance if things have changed. Usually they don't give a final head count until a few days before the event so you should be good.

DMZ_1

I run events for work and deal with the logistics of this often (although not for weddings)... add +1 to the RSVP for the bride's sake. It is always easier to subtract a guest than to add one at the last minute.

Probably the best advice!

melg126

I run events for work and deal with the logistics of this often (although not for weddings)... add +1 to the RSVP for the bride's sake. It is always easier to subtract a guest than to add one at the last minute.

Probably the best advice!

Yes and buy the concert tickets... as said before... you can always find a friend to go with you. But hopefully you will have a sexy lady with you!

Roadie2000

Thanks everybody, that's probably what I'll do. I've had pretty good luck with buying extra concert tickets in the past, if I can't find someone to come I can always sell it too.

Also, this wedding is about an hour away so I was thinking about getting a hotel room. I suppose I should just reserve a room, and if she says she can't stay the night I can always cancel it, right?

Steelheart7

RSVP for just you and then if you are still together tell her she can come but she can't eat and has to sit on your lap! LOL!

Kidding. :devil:

DavetheHYNIC

Bring a date to a wedding?????? That's like bringing sand to a beach! Weddings are full of emotional women to hit on. Didn't you see that movie ??

melg126

Bring a date to a wedding?????? That's like bringing sand to a beach! Weddings are full of emotional women to hit on. Didn't you see that movie ??

But he also might run into a Stage 5 Clinger... :happy:

Roadie2000

Bring a date to a wedding?????? That's like bringing sand to a beach! Weddings are full of emotional women to hit on. Didn't you see that movie ??

1. Maybe back in the day when I was like 24 and all of my friends were just starting to get married. Now I'm 35 and most ladies my age are married with kids.
2. I assume the few single ones will bring dates.
3. I don't find the bride very attractive, and I just assume her friends and family are in the same range.
4. I also assume my chances of getting lucky with someone I've been dating for a while would be better than with someone I've just met.

Nerple

Also, this wedding is about an hour away so I was thinking about getting a hotel room. I suppose I should just reserve a room, and if she says she can't stay the night I can always cancel it, right?

Yeah, most hotel cancellation policies only require 24 hour notice. Should be easy enough.

christine24t

Why don't you just ask the girl if you're still together in x amount of months, if she would be interested in going to a wedding with you? I think you are over-thinking this! And why do you need her to stay in a room with you? To split the cost? If it's that, I understand cancelling it but if not, then I don't get what the big deal is about the room.

A few weeks ago, I had a guy mention that I could come to his barbecue thing he was having if I would like to (it was a couple of weeks off) and I said, "yeah that sounds fun." Well now we're not seeing each other and believe me, the conversation was not that bad.

2stepz

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3. I don't find the bride very attractive, and I just assume her friends and family are in the same range.

Wow... just... wow. I know I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I DO have friends that are. That's... frankly quite a ridiculous assumption.

Bikini27

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3. I don't find the bride very attractive, and I just assume her friends and family are in the same range.

Wow... just... wow. I know I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I DO have friends that are. That's... frankly quite a ridiculous assumption.

LOL....I totally thought the same thing...and yet, I found it hilarious!

I agree with making the +1 and buying two concert tickets, however the "If we're still together when" talk can be uncomfortable and may make her 1) run away 2) stick around because she promised 3)make her insanely happy and she'll start planning her outfit tonight. At least those are the reactions that come to mind for me...

mrmanmeat

I've kind of been seeing someone for a few weeks now, we appear to like each other but I don't know what will happen in the future. It's still pretty casual.

But I have this wedding coming up that I need to RSVP for pretty soon, but the wedding itself isn't until the summer. And all of the people that I will know at the wedding will be standing up in it, so it would be nice to have a date.

So...do I RSVP with a +1, assuming we are still seeing each other then, or if we're not maybe I will be seeing someone else by then. Do I play it safe and just go stag? Maybe I can squeeze her in at the last minute if things are still going well, or if not maybe I can meet someone there.

I also have the same predicament with some concerts I want to get tickets for. All of the people I'd be going with are couples, most of them married. I'm getting kind of tired being the one single guy.

I'd do +1. Always easier to take away than add at a later date.
As for the concert, I'm buying tickets to a show in July.

If nothing else and the gf can't come, I'll take a friend.

Roadie2000

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3. I don't find the bride very attractive, and I just assume her friends and family are in the same range.

Wow... just... wow. I know I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I DO have friends that are. That's... frankly quite a ridiculous assumption.

Yes, I know it's possible. I'm just going by odds.

mrmanmeat

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3. I don't find the bride very attractive, and I just assume her friends and family are in the same range.

Wow... just... wow. I know I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I DO have friends that are. That's... frankly quite a ridiculous assumption.

Actually, as someone who used to be a wedding photographer.... It's really not a ridiculous assumption.

Roadie2000

Why don't you just ask the girl if you're still together in x amount of months, if she would be interested in going to a wedding with you? I think you are over-thinking this! And why do you need her to stay in a room with you? To split the cost? If it's that, I understand cancelling it but if not, then I don't get what the big deal is about the room.

A few weeks ago, I had a guy mention that I could come to his barbecue thing he was having if I would like to (it was a couple of weeks off) and I said, "yeah that sounds fun." Well now we're not seeing each other and believe me, the conversation was not that bad.

Trust me, we're not at a point where we should be planning anything months in advance. I actually haven't even got the invitation yet, I just thought it would be an interesting topic for discussion.

Why do I need her to stay in a room with me? I don't need her to do anything, I just thought it would be more fun to have a few drinks and crash in the room as opposed to staying sober and driving all the way home. I wouldn't let her split the cost if she offered.

AnnaPixie

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3. I don't find the bride very attractive, and I just assume her friends and family are in the same range.

Wow... just... wow. I know I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I DO have friends that are. That's... frankly quite a ridiculous assumption.

Totally agree. However, I am enjoying the insight into the male (and female) mind on this forum. I feel quite privileged. I dont think I've ever met men that are so blatantly honest IRL. They are usually more careful about offending women in their presence, I find. :flowerforyou:

AnnaPixie

Trust me, we're not at a point where we should be planning anything months in advance. I actually haven't even got the invitation yet, I just thought it would be an interesting topic for discussion.

Why do I need her to stay in a room with me? I don't need her to do anything, I just thought it would be more fun to have a few drinks and crash in the room as opposed to staying sober and driving all the way home. I wouldn't let her split the cost if she offered.

Book the room. I have no problem staying in a hotel on my own at a wedding. I wouldn't even consider driving home. But book the double just in case!! Sounds like the current girl will be history by then, but you may meet someone else before, or you may get lucky on the day. Prepare for all eventualities is what I say........ :bigsmile:

Showgirlbody

Make sure you even get a plus one. Most the weddings I've been in or gone to do not automatically allow for a date. If the couple knows you have a significant other, they are usually included on the invite but people are not always willing to spring for a plate for some random that a friend brings. Weddings are expensive, and sometimes extended family and others get trimmed off the list so trying to squeeze in your people is hard enough without doubling it for a date. I didn't get plus ones for my best friends' weddings that I stood up for. Lol Not that I'd want to bring a random who would sit alone bored while I did bridesmaid duty.

Roadie2000

Make sure you even get a plus one. Most the weddings I've been in or gone to do not automatically allow for a date. If the couple knows you have a significant other, they are usually included on the invite but people are not always willing to spring for a plate for some random that a friend brings. Weddings are expensive, and sometimes extended family and others get trimmed off the list so trying to squeeze in your people is hard enough without doubling it for a date. I didn't get plus ones for my best friends' weddings that I stood up for. Lol Not that I'd want to bring a random who would sit alone bored while I did bridesmaid duty.

Good point! If they don't let me bring a date I will probably not bother going. Most of the people I know there will be in the wedding and it's like an hour away. And I know they don't have a lot of money and are paying for the wedding themselves, but I'm not great friends with either of them. The groom is more of a friend of a friend, and I've only met the bride a few times. For all I know I might not be invited at all, but I was one of the few invited to the bachelor party so I just assumed.

The point of this thread is not really about this specific wedding though, I run into these types of things all the time. If I want to plan something but I'm seeing someone casually I never know whether to invite them or not. Kind of a lot of pressure meeting the friends and all, I feel like once you take someone to a wedding it bumps up the serious level of the relationship a couple notches.

Showgirlbody

Wedding date does sound more serious. Other things, no harm in asking. If you want to go anyway and you are seeing someone, it is a good opportunity to do something you like and see how your date fits in or enjoys it. Good test to see how she adspts even if its not her thing. Don't ask months in advance but go ahead and get tix to events and stuff. Hopefully, you would find someone to go with if date fell through. As long as the date is not too high pressure or intimate for relationship level, why not?