Advice needed

takingnameskickingbutt

I met someone quite a long time ago. We had an odd first date, as he was sick as a dog, and I spent most of the time trying to converse with a virtual corpse. He then played the odd keep me on the hook game, which I quickly converted into a friendship.

So here is my pickle: We are friends on facebook, and he is talking about his new "crush" and how wonderful she is and spectacularly skilled at everything. He still comments on all my posts and texts me with inside jokes. I am NOT interested, but we are both in the same social circle, so I wanted to remain civil. I don't know why I am so upset -- maybe because I feel pitied but also sorta taken advantage of (because the crush is a mutual friend and I feel like he used our date as a way to get her on the hook). I like her, and she doesn't participate in any of this behavoir. In addition, he often makes comments about me being immature, as I am quite a bit younger than him. I find it patronizing. Am I overreacting? Should I just grin and bear it? Any alternative advice?

Carl01

Live your own life and don`t worry about his (theirs).
Accept it was just mutually beneficial that it did not go any farther with you two and move on.

DavetheHYNIC

This is why I don't have facebook and why I really keep my friends to a minimum and who are of use and necessary to me.

takingnameskickingbutt

Live your own life and don`t worry about his (theirs).
Accept it was just mutually beneficial that it did not go any farther with you two and move on.

I guess what is tripping me up is that I feel used, and I don't feel it was mutually beneficial.

Carl01

Live your own life and don`t worry about his (theirs).
Accept it was just mutually beneficial that it did not go any farther with you two and move on.

I guess what is tripping me up is that I feel used, and I don't feel it was mutually beneficial.

Without any details and am not asking for them I can`t say you have a reason to feel that way or not.
Perhaps it is justified or maybe not but no matter,if you can`t let it go as it is then you have to walk away from it,do not expect the other party to,especially if they have no idea you feel this way.

La_Amazona

Live your own life and don`t worry about his (theirs).
Accept it was just mutually beneficial that it did not go any farther with you two and move on.

I guess what is tripping me up is that I feel used, and I don't feel it was mutually beneficial.

Without any details and am not asking for them I can`t say you have a reason to feel that way or not.
Perhaps it is justified or maybe not but no matter,if you can`t let it go as it is then you have to walk away from it,do not expect the other party to,especially if they have no idea you feel this way.

I agree. You said you quickly converted it into a friendship... and in a friendship (I should know this!!) you can't really expect anything in return or else it's not really a friendship.

Then you say you're NOT interested.. so I'm also confused. If you're not interested, what does it matter if he's crushing on your friend?

I think there's more to the story and since you wrote a short post (compared to mine lol), it's a bit confusing as there are gaps here and there.

takingnameskickingbutt

Good point, people. I am just going to hide him on all medium, so I can remain civil and not be upset about it.

DMZ_1

Good point, people. I am just going to hide him on all medium, so I can remain civil and not be upset about it.

Hiding him on all mediums is good. You could also de-friend on Facebook and I assume your Facebook is set up so that people who aren't your friends can't comment on your posts. I also agree with La_Amazona that there might be details missing. Even if there are details missing, I think the best think you can do for yourself is to focus on you. You need to find a relationship partner that will fit for you.

takingnameskickingbutt

To explain more clearly: I am not upset about him seeing other people. I am upset that he used me as leverage to get my friend, who didn't like him. to like him more. It seems very seventh grade. I feel like he went on a date with me, not because he liked me, but to be able to say he went on a date with me to my friend, which he did loud and clear on many social medium. They now go out to dinner and such and he activley pursues her, but I don't know why he involved me in the first place. It's like he took a break with me in order to secure her interest.

It is also upsetting that he makes ridiculous comments about my age and maturity level, when he high-schooled me.

I think all of your advice is sound, I have unsubscibed to him. I feel like he is just condescending and callous, and I am over feeling second best and taken advantage of.

takingnameskickingbutt

Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt said, no one can make you feel inferior, without your permission. Permission revoked! Thanks for all your advice.

Roadie2000

To explain more clearly: I am not upset about him seeing other people. I am upset that he used me as leverage to get my friend, who didn't like him. to like him more. It seems very seventh grade. I feel like he went on a date with me, not because he liked me, but to be able to say he went on a date with me to my friend, which he did loud and clear on many social medium. They now go out to dinner and such and he activley pursues her, but I don't know why he involved me in the first place. It's like he took a break with me in order to secure her interest.

It is also upsetting that he makes ridiculous comments about my age and maturity level, when he high-schooled me.

I think all of your advice is sound, I have unsubscibed to him. I feel like he is just condescending and callous, and I am over feeling second best and taken advantage of.

Any chance this could all be just in your head? Obviously you know the situation much better than us, but just because he went on one date with you, and then later started liking your friend doesn't mean that he used you. Maybe he liked you but just didn't feel a spark when you went out. Maybe he's using your friend to get to you. Maybe he's just a guy being a guy. Guys tease girls they like all the time, sometimes we think we're being funny and we're just too stupid to just say something nice.

Either way he doesn't really sound like a keeper though, it's probably a good thing that you unsubscribed to him.

takingnameskickingbutt

To explain more clearly: I am not upset about him seeing other people. I am upset that he used me as leverage to get my friend, who didn't like him. to like him more. It seems very seventh grade. I feel like he went on a date with me, not because he liked me, but to be able to say he went on a date with me to my friend, which he did loud and clear on many social medium. They now go out to dinner and such and he activley pursues her, but I don't know why he involved me in the first place. It's like he took a break with me in order to secure her interest.

It is also upsetting that he makes ridiculous comments about my age and maturity level, when he high-schooled me.

I think all of your advice is sound, I have unsubscibed to him. I feel like he is just condescending and callous, and I am over feeling second best and taken advantage of.

Any chance this could all be just in your head? Obviously you know the situation much better than us, but just because he went on one date with you, and then later started liking your friend doesn't mean that he used you. Maybe he liked you but just didn't feel a spark when you went out. Maybe he's using your friend to get to you. Maybe he's just a guy being a guy. Guys tease girls they like all the time, sometimes we think we're being funny and we're just too stupid to just say something nice.

Either way he doesn't really sound like a keeper though, it's probably a good thing that you unsubscribed to him.

That's a possibility! Either way, he doesn't make me feel good, so I think it's best of a maintain distance. Thanks!

JanieJack

he doesn't make me feel good, so I think it's best of a maintain distance.

this this this

yoovie

facebook allows you to hide feeds from people that are making you sad, temporarily.

La_Amazona

To explain more clearly: I am not upset about him seeing other people. I am upset that he used me as leverage to get my friend, who didn't like him. to like him more. It seems very seventh grade. I feel like he went on a date with me, not because he liked me, but to be able to say he went on a date with me to my friend, which he did loud and clear on many social medium. They now go out to dinner and such and he activley pursues her, but I don't know why he involved me in the first place. It's like he took a break with me in order to secure her interest.

It is also upsetting that he makes ridiculous comments about my age and maturity level, when he high-schooled me.

I think all of your advice is sound, I have unsubscibed to him. I feel like he is just condescending and callous, and I am over feeling second best and taken advantage of.

Any chance this could all be just in your head? Obviously you know the situation much better than us, but just because he went on one date with you, and then later started liking your friend doesn't mean that he used you. Maybe he liked you but just didn't feel a spark when you went out. Maybe he's using your friend to get to you. Maybe he's just a guy being a guy. Guys tease girls they like all the time, sometimes we think we're being funny and we're just too stupid to just say something nice.

Either way he doesn't really sound like a keeper though, it's probably a good thing that you unsubscribed to him.

That's a possibility! Either way, he doesn't make me feel good, so I think it's best of a maintain distance. Thanks!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

Good for you...