Chemistry
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Carl01
Posts: 9,370 Member
The word gets thrown around to the point it is almost a meaningless cliché.
No right or wrong answer but interested in personal definitions as to what it is or what makes it happen for you as an individual.
Or does it just get back in the end to a school yard style crush without explanation so was a word needed to to be an all encompassing description of that?
No right or wrong answer but interested in personal definitions as to what it is or what makes it happen for you as an individual.
Or does it just get back in the end to a school yard style crush without explanation so was a word needed to to be an all encompassing description of that?
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Replies
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When my nether regions inexplicably tingle when he looks at me.
That's step one... And it can easily dissapate as he talks.0 -
A couple of things for me:
First: We need to be able to converse. If talking is difiicult and feels like a chore, I'm not going to want anything
Second: Goes right along with what Odus said; If I look at her and have no inclination to touch her, to kiss her, or to wonder what she looks like naked, a romantic relationship will never happen.
Third: Just think of it logically: Chemistry involves how elements react to each other. If there's no reaction, there's no chemistry. If there's a bad reaction, bad chemistry. Every relationship has some kind of chemistry, it's just a matter of determining which it is. When a woman shuts you down, it's because there's no/too little romantic chemistry to continue asking you to pay for her meals. Take it as a courtesy rather than an insult. More often than not, there's nothing malicious going on.0 -
When my nether regions inexplicably tingle when he looks at me.
That's step one... And it can easily dissapate at he talks.
:laugh:0 -
When my nether regions inexplicably tingle when he looks at me.
That's step one... And it can easily dissapate at he talks.
:laugh:
Why'd you delete the old account???0 -
When my nether regions inexplicably tingle when he looks at me.
That's step one... And it can easily dissapate as he talks.
That was sort of my idea,it is an undefinable something and we have developed a catch all word to describe it.
Btw,talk of your nether regions just made mine do that.
Not sure that was chemistry or lust though. :happy:0 -
Jeez, its 2.18am here and I need to go bed. Good question Carl, will sleep on it and come back to you in the morning....
Nanight :flowerforyou:0 -
Perfect on paper + no spark = no chemistry
You cant deny it or create it. Its there or its not but chemistry doesn't equal compatibility or happiness, just a tingle!0 -
I have found, as I get older, that the "original" chemistry may not be the "actual" chemistry. Someone that I am not attracted to first-off, after conversation and time spent getting to know each other may just stroke my intelligence errogenous zone so strongly that the lust develops.
I've also been close enough to touch someone that I lusted after and in less than one evening together I never want to be near him again and wonder what "get it off me!" I could've felt that had me lusting in the first place!
Chemistry comes in... but conversation has to be the a huge part of it.0 -
When my nether regions inexplicably tingle when he looks at me.
That's step one... And it can easily dissapate as he talks.
You said it. And where your heart beats so fast because you're so happy.
Unfortunately, I don't think it happens in every relationship. And that can be okay, so long as you like the person and are attracted. But not everyone makes your heart flutter.0 -
I think there are "tangible" (for lack of a better word) aspects of chemistry, and that, to me, is the physical attraction. I don't mean is he/she hot. I mean just what hiker described ... do you have a desire to touch/kiss/be close to this person? With some guys, I feel no physical connection at all. The conversation may be great, but I'm not wondering what it would feel like to have his hands on me. With some, the physical attraction is so obvious that I feel like my body is on fire. That matters, bigtime.
Then there is the not so tangible ... do your personalities click? That's the one that is harder to explain. With some people, things just feel right. The conversation flows more naturally, your willingness to open up about certain things is greater, your questions are more probing and less superficial, etc., because you just have more of a desire to get to know the person on a deeper level and you feel more comfortable allowing them to get to know you.0 -
Chemistry......The class I disliked the most...:grumble:
Seriously...I think when you just "get" and "understand" the other person. It is just so easy to talk to him on a day to day basis. Also....if he leaves me smiling...and I leave him smiling .... almost everyday...in my mind, we definitely have a connection (in other words, we have chemistry).
ETA: Yea I just read this again, and I am not really good at this kind of thing lol.... No wonder I am having a hard time in the single world....:frown:0 -
Chemistry is that inexplicable thing that when it happens you lose yourself in the moment with that person. You could be anywhere, but for some reason you don't see or hear anything around you but that person. You draw energy from them and feel yourself drawn to them. It makes you believe in love at first sight when you know that isn't actually possible.0
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Chemistry is that inexplicable thing that when it happens you lose yourself in the moment with that person. You could be anywhere, but for some reason you don't see or hear anything around you but that person. You draw energy from them and feel yourself drawn to them. It makes you believe in love at first sight when you know that isn't actually possible.
^^ this in far better words than I was trying to explain it in.
On another note, do you think lust and chemisty are sometimes confused?0 -
Chemistry is that inexplicable thing that when it happens you lose yourself in the moment with that person. You could be anywhere, but for some reason you don't see or hear anything around you but that person. You draw energy from them and feel yourself drawn to them. It makes you believe in love at first sight when you know that isn't actually possible.
^^ this in far better words than I was trying to explain it in.
On another note, do you think lust and chemisty are sometimes confused?
I find this interesting because most people will say physical attraction or desire for intimacy of some kind is a factor but then will downplay it.
From this it doesn`t seem so.0 -
Hm... I think it has three basic facets for me.
1) Ability to hold an interesting conversation. Nothing to talk about means there's no point in going any further.
2) Physical appeal. It doesn't mean I objectively think he's a good looking man, because I've been very attracted to men who were completely not what I found handsome at all, but there was something about them - maybe one feature, or a particular expression - that made me keep looking, and made me want to look more.
3) Sparks. If he touches my hand, or puts his hand on my shoulder or the small of my back, and it feels uncomfortable or awkward, then I know it isn't going to work out no matter how nice they are to talk to or interesting they are to look at. If, however, it feels natural and/or exciting, that's a pretty good indication that further touch would also feel natural and/or exciting.
Combine the three - great chemistry0 -
Im available for any and all chemisty experiements...any takers? lol0
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Chemistry is that inexplicable thing that when it happens you lose yourself in the moment with that person. You could be anywhere, but for some reason you don't see or hear anything around you but that person. You draw energy from them and feel yourself drawn to them. It makes you believe in love at first sight when you know that isn't actually possible.
^^ this in far better words than I was trying to explain it in.
On another note, do you think lust and chemisty are sometimes confused?
I find this interesting because most people will say physical attraction or desire for intimacy of some kind is a factor but then will downplay it.
From this it doesn`t seem so.
Real chemistry, while similar in nature to lust, has longevity. If you still find these things happening after a month or two, you're on to something. Another delineation is when you are really into the person and not just their body.0 -
Lust (or physical attraction) is one factor of chemistry, but not everything.I find this interesting because most people will say physical attraction or desire for intimacy of some kind is a factor but then will downplay it.
From this it doesn`t seem so.0 -
When I think of chemistry I think of two things:
1. That initial intense feeling (mostly lust) that is often (according to some psychology books I've read- would love 2stepz thought on this) an indicator that the person is actually NOT right for you; that, rather, this person triggers some unresolved issues in your child hood. Or that they're just incredibly hot, which clouds your judgment.
2. The even more delicious intensity that comes from being pleasantly surprised as you learn about someone. How good he is with his kids. How quick he is to help you solve a problem. How well he treats you and your friends. How he's respectful to actually hear your side of the story, not just jump to conclusions and write you off as an "emotional little woman." All that gets wrapped up in - and intensifies - how good he looks without a shirt, lol.
#1 dissipates quickly when you begin to see the other person's "true self."
#2 intensifies (hopefully) because you now see the person's "true self" and find it pleasing on emotional, intellectual, and physical levels0 -
I find this interesting because most people will say physical attraction or desire for intimacy of some kind is a factor but then will downplay it.
The guy in my life who was hardest to get over was not the most "attractive" by the general populaces standards. But the way he treated me, the way he loved on my son, oh my goodness!! His personality flipped my switch and even though we never actually dated, it took forever to stop pining away for him.0
